Miscarriage - please help.

[MeganTxx]

Hi Ladies.

I appreciate there are more than likely very very similar posts, but I ask that you please all give me your opinions on this.
I haven't slept a wink all night, and whether it be good or bad I really need some help putting my mind to rest.

I am 9 and a half weeks pregnant, me and my partner were ttc and moved into our new home the week I found out I was pregnant, everything was so so perfect the bfp could honestly not of come at a better time.

Friday 26th, I had my booking in appointment, the pregnancy was confirmed and everything got so much more real and so much more exciting! Yesterday though, the 27th after a day of shopping I went to my brothers house, I was busting for a wee so ran straight upstairs, after wiping there was blood, not a lot just slightly (this was around 4:45 yesterday afternoon)

I have been bleeding ever since, only lightly nothing heavy but the pains are like period pains.

I called my midwife and she booked me in for the earliest scan she could which is tomorrow.

Like I said, whether good or bad please give me your honest opinions, this is my first pregnancy and I'm so so scared but I want to try and best prepare myself for whatever is going to come my way tomorrow.

Thank you for reading x

Bleeding in small amounts is so common in early pregnancy. It’s called spotting. This can continue for several weeks and for some unfortunates (like me!) it’s continued right through to week 13, on and off. It’s such a horrible worry.

I’ve never had cramps with it. And I’m going to be brutally honest, that’s usually one if the less positive symptoms. But REST. Your midwife has booked you in for a scan and that is, at this stage, the only thing that can truly reassure you.

There’s no point in me telling you not to worry. This is a hideous wait...I’ve been here before. Miracles do happen. But if this isn’t one, it’s not because if anything you’ve done. It’s just not time for you yet. Bless you, fingers crossed for your scan tomorrow xx

@Sessy19 - thank you so much for responding.

Brutally honest is exactly what I want. I know there is literarily nothing I can do but I just can't stop worrying, even though I feel like I know what's coming.

My partner works away, and is due to be leaving to head back to site tomorrow. They really need him as due to the high winds this weekend things have been disastrous but he's refusing to let me go on my own.
I feel like I know it's gonna be bad news and there is no point us both being there to hear it - I love him so so dearly and I want him to have to go through as little pain as possible

You will ABSOLUTELY need him there. He will need to be there. This is his pregnancy too. Don’t try to protect him because it’s not going to help you as a couple, trust me. Please take him with you. Insist he comes with you xxx

It’s a horrible time, I’m really sorry you are going through this.

I had a MC (different situation to you) but I would not have coped without my partner. And it transpired it effected him much more than I had thought it would.

Please take your partner, as whatever way it goes you will want him there. Work can wait. I understand the ‘I need to be there’ side of a job BUT if I got hit by a bus and didn’t come to work ever again, they would manage. It’s just a job. You, your partner, and the outcome of this scan are WAY more important than any job.

Fingers crossed for you, OP xxxx

@Meggyxx Take your partner !! I had bleeding at 9 weeks very red and continued for a few hours, also had sharp pains, I was very lucky that baby was still healthy but not everyone can say the same, hopefully its just a bit of spotting and growing pains! Fingers crossed for you sweet ❤️

@Sessy19 @Keyboard91 @HJWT - Thank you all.

It's not that I don't want him there I really really do, he's been so amazing since the bleeding started yesterday I don't think iv stopped crying, he sat with me all night while I couldn't sleep he really is my rock, I just didn't know if it was selfish me taking him with me.

@HJWT I'm so glad after your bleeding everything turned out to be fine!!

I only had the cramps for a short time yesterday; no cramps at all this morning, bloods not in Urine stream it is just when I wipe.

Honestly, I know it's what this site is for, but thank you so so much for responding, it means so much x

I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks in January and bleeding in this pregnancy too, the difference was that with the miscarriage it got heavier with time whereas I had a whole day of bleeding (and cramps) with this one but it stopped after a day. I have a sub chorionic haematoma which is apparently one of the most common causes of bleeding in the first trimester but the majority of babies survive if the bleeding goes around the baby. Have you had an early scan and seen the heartbeat before this?
Massive hugs as all bleeding is so stressful, I just want to go to sleep till the baby is here safely! Hopefully it’s not the end for you xx

@Summerloving17 - the bleed this time is still as light as it was yesterday when it started at around 4:45, it hasn't as yet got any heavier it's still very light.

I'm sorry for your precious miscarriage, very happy to hear that this pregnancy is going well for you hunny ❤️❤️

No previous scans, the original scan was booked for the 20th may for 12 weeks, so tomorrow will be first scan.

I am preparing for the worst but hoping for the best x

I had spotting from 6weeks up untill 12weeks had scans they said everything was fine up untill 14weeks...on 5/4/19 on emergency scan and there was no heartbeat I was devastated...but every womans body is different hope everything goes well for hun sending baby dust to you...as I'm back on the mend now trying for another one so hope all goes well all ways x

I had light bleeding and cramps from 5-7 weeks on and off, baby is currently asleep on my lap! Fingers crossed for good news tomorrow xx

I'm sorry this is happening - but I don't think you can tell. You can have bleeding and not miscarry, or miscarry with no bleeding at all. All you can do now is wait, I'm afraid.

Usually but not always a miscarriage at 9 weeks would have bleeding with cramps and pain (with the cramping and pain starting around the same time as the mc). But it’s good you have a scan so can know either way.

@MelRiley15 thank you Hun ❤️ I'm glad you're on the mend and now trying again, I hope everything works out just how you want it to sweet!

@Darkstar4855 - that's amazing!! I'm so glad it all worked out for you and it does give me some hope.

I have managed to get a hours sleep, I was driving myself crazy just sitting and thinking!
Even though bleeding was only light anyway it does seem to be coming to a stop and still no cramps as of today so hopefully a good sign!

Just want tomorrow to come quickly as so I know what is happening either way

Are there any clots in the blood? I had light spotting and my dr said it was just my cervix was irritated (though it was brown not red). I did end up miscarrying that pregnancy but at the point the miscarriage started the bleeding changed and had clots and I had sharp cramps in my cervix (though was still very light and brown).

I hope everything works out for you x

@MeganTxx, trust me, take your partner! I had brown spotting at 8 weeks, was booked in for a scan the next day to be safe. I very nearly went by myself because dh work aren't good with time off. The spotting was only brown, not heavy and a test I took still showed positive. I was certain all would be fine and worried I was being dramatic. The scan showed just a sac and yolk, turns out I hadn't progressed beyond 5/6 weeks. So glad dh was their, I was wreck!! Sorry op, I don't want to frighten you; I was unlucky and chances are you will be OK. Spotting is really common. But if it is bad news, you'll need someone else with you. I hope all is well tomorrow. Try to rest today. Xxx

No clots at all, very very light bleeding, even lighter now that it was yesterday. The blood is red but more of a pinky colour that a bright red.

I am trying to just relax today now and stop getting myself worked up, whatever is meant to be will be, and although I am hopefully hoping for the best I realise these things happen and I know have I done everything by the book since finding out I was pregnant so there is nothing I could of done, I do keep having moments asking myself what I could have done to cause the bleeding but I realise that blaming myself will only drive me crazy!!

I will post tomorrow once I have been to let you know the outcome x

@Meggyxx good luck with your scan tomorrow wish you all the best hun ❤️

How did it go meggy? Xxx

@Whitley83- Hi Whitley and Ladies.

Sorry it's taken me so long to update, the last two days have been like living hell unfortunately.

I arrived for my scan Monday morning. Couldn't see anything on normal scan, was advised by the nurse the pregnancy test they did was still a 'strong' positive so they wanted to do an internal scan. I had a internal scan and they couldn't see anything, however the nurse noticed when putting pressure on my right sight I was jumping, I didn't really realise I was doing it.

After getting dressed, I was asked to go I. A side room and wait for the head nurse. The nurse came after a short while, but what felt like forever and basically advised they didn't really know what was going on but that they were concerned about my pain. The nurse took me to a different ward were I waited to be seen by a doctor, over the course of Monday afternoon I was seen by 4 doctors, prodded and pocked, they all came to the same conclusion that my right side was very tender, I was in complete agony by the time of seeing the second doctor.

After seeing the 4th doctor, he asked me th last time I had eaten, he wanted to perform emergency surgery.
I had eaten around a hour before. My partner had basically begged me to as I hadn't touched a thing since Sunday lunch time

My op was scheduled for first thing yesterday morning, I was advised the op would last a hour, when I came round from the anaesthetic and saw I had been out for over 3 hours I realised something was wrong, I got pushed back to my room on the ward and asked if someone would come and explain to me what's happened. I was still out of it really bad, the nurse said someone would come and explain when I was back with me. - I was back on the ward by 12:30 and the affects of the anaesthetic had not worn off until around 3:45, that was the first time I could keep my eyes open and was fully aware what was happening.

Anyway, around a hour after the surgeon can't go explain, showing me pictures as she did.
I had suffered a eptopic pregnancy, my tube had stretched significantly and it had caused a bleed on my womb, hence the bleeding.

My right tube has been taken away, the nurse said my left tube is also damaged, and although they haven't taken it away now, it is very likely they will remove it as some point.

The conversation ended by nurse very Sat advising that although she can't say it's impossible, the chances of me ever being able to carry naturally are very very slim.

I am still in hospital and it's looking like I'll be here a few more days at least,

I am, as you can probably all imagine a emotional wreck.

I want to say thank you for everyone for the kind words. A huge thank you those who told me to bring my partner,he has been my absolute rock and I couldn't of got through this without him.

❤️

I'm so so sorry to read that update OP, I can honestly say it was the last outcome I was expecting so how you are feeling is unimaginable!

Please remember there are always other routes in ttc, freezing and harvesting your eggs etc will still be an option without tubes I imagine. Sorry for your loss and for the incredible life changing news you've had x

I am so very sorry Meggy

@Meggyxx I am so so sorry hun! Sending lots of hugs ❤️ 💐

@Meggyxx sorry you’ve had such an awful time. Make sure they discharge you with a follow up appointment so that you can discuss things with the doctors in a few weeks time when you’ve recovered a bit

@mawof3soontobe @b0bb1n @Darkstar4855 @Teddybear45

Thank you all for responding, I have hasn't responded as I have been taking some time to try and get my head around everything.

I seem to be as ok as I can be one minute, the next I am in floods of tears.

It has been exactly one week today since the op, and I have my follow up appointment, they said this would be to check the stitches are healing, and for me to ask any questions I thought of after leaving the hospital.

This may seem like a silly question, but is there any questions you recommend I should ask regarding fertility?
I would like to know my options, I just have no idea where to start.

I would ask what they meant by damage to the other tube and if/when they would remove it. I’d want to know if they thought it should be removed soon to avoid the risk of another ectopic or if they would advise to leave it and see if you could conceive naturally first. If you do get pregnant will they give you an early scan to check if it is ectopic?

I’d also want to know what the plan would be for the future. Would they advise you to try naturally and if so for how long? Is it likely that you might need IVF and if so what is the NHS entitlement and when would they think about referring you? If you are 35+ then that should be sooner rather than later.

I would ask for a follow up appointment in the fertility clinic in 6-12 months to reassess.

It’s ok to write this stuff down and go in with a list. It’s also ok to take notes during the appointment, and I would ask if they could send you a copy of the clinic letter (the one they will send to your GP after the appointment). Some doctors will do this as standard, some will say no but it’s useful to have if they will send it.

Don’t lose hope: there’s every reason to think that you will have healthy children in the future, it just might be a slightly more complicated process at the start!