Pregnancy is hard

[emmythemummy]

Hi everyone,

Im 10 weeks pregnant with my first child. I'm 24 years old and was supposed to be getting married next year, but then we found out about the baby and that's gone out the window...just for financial reasons.

My partner is fab, he has been really looking after me. Took him a while, but after a few tears expressing how hard I found even standing in the kitchen, he cooks, cleans and brings me anything I want...so I'm so so lucky in that sense.

But woweeee everyone talks about labour and how scary and hard it is..but no one really prepares you ever for day to day pregnancy.
I've hated 90% of being pregnant. The only exception being just knowing I'm making a life of course, and now at 10 weeks I can see the pants getting tight and a very small round belly, I'm starting to feel love.

But the nausea, the dry heaving, the smells, the tiredness, the heartburn, the gas, the short temper, the tearfulness, the anxiety, the taste aversions.....my god! How do women get through this? I still have 30 weeks and I just keep thinking, how am I going to get through this. Like seriously?
And the guilt, the guilt of just moaning and complaining about pregnancy, and feeling useless to my partner.
I have no sex drive either. I keep stressing that he'll think I'm fat and ugly pregnant..loose interest, not find me sexy anymore and go elsewhere. I have diagnosed anxiety so I do tend to over think.
I'm half expecting replies saying my god pull yourself together you pathetic thing, but I just need to talk to someone who I can relate to me. I need a big virtual cuddle because I'm finding it so hard.

Lastly, I'm the first in my friendship group to have a baby. I was the first to get a long term boyfriend, a house, engaged and so I've always felt a little bit set apart. Most of them have just graduated and love going out to party....so understandably they just can't relate to me and probably just think I'm a whinge.

Just a little bit of love and support from any kind stranger will be amazing x

Yep.
I’m 18 weeks with baby number 3, and I still loathe the majority of being pregnant same as I did with the last 2.
I don’t get the fabled “glow” or “radiance”. I get the vomit, the pelvic gurdle pain and the heartburn. Those things coupled with running around after a 3 year old and a 2 year old all day makes me a permanently exhausted, chubby zombie creature.

You’re in the worst bit. Unless you’re very unlucky it will get easier soon.

I'm 14 weeks with baby number two. I've felt like a boring miserable whinge bag for the last few weeks, but finally this week I've started to feel less sick, less tired and more like myself again. For a lot of women the second trimester is easier than the first, you have more energy and less sickness. And as your bump starts to grow it feels more real I think.

Sometimes the only thought thats kept me going is it will be so worth it in the end.

Don't be too hard on yourself or your dh, my DH absolutely loved my pregnant body, he thought it was amazing and very sexy. Your dh could surprise you!

nothing does prepare you, but it will likely get better after 13 weeks ( I think it was about 20 weeks for me )

It may be longer but fingers crossed your be through the worst soon.

I hated pregnancy especially up
Until i felt the fog of constantly being sick start to lift... I got married while
Pregnant and had to run to the loo mutiple times ... prettt sure the cutting the cake picture didn’t make the cut because I was heaving 😂😂

I totally get and sympathise my lovely! You are stronger than you think just take each day as it comes

I used to sip cold appletizer in the mornings or fizzy fruit juice to help ease the transition in the morning but like you it was all day all night... my moor husband would spend ages researching the next thing that was meant to help... but a bit of sugar in your system 15 mins before your feet hit the floor in the morning does take the edge off ... sometimes x x

Sleep when you can and I am glad you have such a supportive partner .... I could just about do my job, and organise the wedding ... it’s no picnic 🧺

But if it helps I had an amazing labour, it hurt don’t get me wrong ... but it was fast ... and nothing went wrong... and I found I was fine all the way up to the last bit where I was fully dilated and it was time to push ... before that I was coping ( boots maternity tens machine / birthing ball! Can’t recomment enough )

Talk to work how you feel
And let them know .. I was stubborn and went in every day was my usual super early to arrive and last to leave ... looking back I was half dead ... and should have been kinder to myself

I hated life while pregnant but feeling your baby kick .... now that I miss x x

You are not wrong.

There is a reason my dc is nearly six and still an only child, and will probably remain as such.

The baby at the end is great, but being pregnant is bloody hard. It hurts too, they all warn you about the agony of labour (honestly not that bad after nine months of pregnancy you just want the baby out) but jesus Christ being pregnant is painful. My hips and back have never properly recovered.

P.s the only time I wanted sex is when I was a week over due and I was willing to try anything to get the bubba out ... p.s it worked 😂😂

I hated pregnancy but love being a mum. I have a theory that if you have a crap pregnancy it makes the transition to motherhood easier.

19 weeks with DC2 and I've been 200% honest with people about pregnancy. It's so hard, especially with HG in my experience. I don't see the point in lying and saying it's easy. MiL loved being pregnant, so I know some women don't have problems. But I really do.
This pregnancy in particular is hard because I'm so tired this time, and so nauseous.

And DH still found/finds me attractive. He doesn't know what it is, but he loves it.

On the plus side, I seem to have fucking hideous pregnancies, but have had 2 pretty easy labours and births - so I guess that’s a bonus!

Thank you for your kind words/for sharing!

So funny, we all go through it, and all have our problems, but when a none pregnant person says to you "yes well all women feel like, we've all been there" , it's like "WELL JUDY I DON'T CARE BECAUSE IT DOESN'T TAKE AWAY FROM THIS HELLISH PREGNANCY AND I DON'T SEE YOU HEAVING AT THE SIGHT OF CHEESE 4 TIMES A DAY"
But finally some women I can relate to! Keep your stories coming, enjoying reading them!

I'm really holding out that I will improve in the second trimester -EEK

Oooo and I recommend if anyone has Netflix to watch Amy Schumers "Growing"- basically her stand up comedy while she is pregnant but it is HILARIOUS and she is bang on with everything she says- cheered me right up!

Pregnancy is so hard !! I’m so relived I’m not the only one, I have been thinking I just wasn’t strong enough to handle it! I always wanted to be a mother and have an amazing partner so really can’t complain.

I’m struggling with tiredness and growing pains the bad definitely out weights the bad but yes 100 hundred percent day to day pregnancy is hard !!

@emmythemummy my DF, despite having 6 children, had said to me before that I'm not as sick as I say I am because pregnancy isn't an illness. Yes, yes it is. I lost 2.5 stone with DS and have currently lost 13lbs with this one BECAUSE I CANT EAT PROPERLY OR DRINK PROPERLY and the baby is literally taking everything from me. I'm trying to stop being I'm dehydrated but it's so difficult when a parasite is leeching everything from you.

I was training to be a chef when I was pregnant, oh god the smells!

I had to leg it out of more than one service to go and heave in the bathroom because the idiot on the grill station hadn't turned on his extractor hood and I got a nose full of cooking meat and garlic.

Sorry you're having a rough time OP. It's not easy being the first in your friendship group to have a baby either - you have less people to relate to.
Have you found a group on the antenatal boards here? I found having people to chat / moan with at the same stage useful.

I was 24 when I got pregnant and 25 when I had my baby in November. She's 5 months old and snuggled next to me feeding. It will get better, and it will be worth it. All the best xxx

OP I could have written your post! First baby too - just hoping it'll get easier after 12 weeks... Hang in there! If anyone has any tips for all day nausea that would be great...

@emmythemummy
I feel ya girl! I'm 25, in my 2nd year of psych nursing in college and this was a total surprise! I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant and still have shit days. Nobody tells you how hard it can be day to day being pregnant, and how miserable you might be. I totally withdrew from friends, family and everything because I felt like I was taking it out on people and they didn't understand what I was going through. My DP has been great and is trying so hard to understand what I'm going through but nobody does. And everybody's journey is different. Don't let anyone tell you 'well what do you expect, your pregnant so you're bound to be hormonal' cause I tell ya that made me lose my rag more than once and it's not like you don't know your hormones are going to be all over the place but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to give out!! No two women go through the same journey, but once you keep talking about it, find somebody or somewhere you can vent, don't get bogged down with it. I did and it's only the last couple of weeks I've got out of my own head and am now trying to enjoy my pregnancy. You, me and a bunch of others are normal, unfortunately we're just not of the percentage of ladies that sail through their pregnancies. Hope you start to feel better soon ❤️❤️

@Harvey3
Just seen your comment there- peel an orange and sniff the peel, works a treat. And ginger nut biscuits help too. I was barely physically but always had the nauseous feeling😥

I feel you!
I hated pregnancy, Infact I've always said I'd go through 10 million labours before I had another pregnancy and I didn't even have a bad pregnancy but did have a pretty shit labour ending in csection.
The guilt too, even saying what I have above still makes me feel guilty as some women would love to go through it all but can't 😩
One thing I will say which totally goes against everything I've said above is enjoy every minute! My little one is almost 2 and knowing I'll never have a 'first' pregnancy again makes me feel sad. Sleep when needed, eat and drink what you like without worrying about weight gain and I promise your baby will be worth every single dry hurl you make!
Best of luck with everything x

Thanks Duffy - I'll give it a go!

Hi,

We asked a midwife to answer some questions about weird and uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms some people have experienced - perhaps you'll find it helpful.

Being pregnant is really hard. And everyone's experience is different - some people have easy pregnancies but for the most part people suffer.

I have felt very similar to you. My first trimester was horrendous, and then in my second trimester just as I was coming out of the sickness and fatigue when everyone said I would start to feel great... I started to develop serious back and hip problems which have turned out to be PGP. I feel like an invalid. I can't even do simple things for myself anymore. It hurts to even get dressed so I have to do it slowly, sitting down. My DH is so sweet and understanding but I can't help but feel like a huge burden. A burden that eats everything and complains and cries all the time.

And no, your friends who haven't had kids yet don't have the slightest clue how you are feeling. I know that doesn't make you feel better but it's the truth. Join pregnancy classes and baby groups to find people who understand. It helps.

I just keep telling myself that it will all be worth it when I have my beautiful baby.

I have anxiety and intrusive thoughts OCD and being pregnant scared me to death. I'm 13 weeks now and i have had no sickness or food aversion, but if swap this crippling back pain that I've had for the past 6 weeks for both. I feel so jealous of people who say theyre starting to feel ace and energetic when i cant even walk or sit down. So far pregnancy is rubbish and i cant see an end to It.

It is so hard. I’m 15 weeks with my second and as much as iv always wanted 3 I don’t know if I can do pregnancy again. The sickness feels never ending.

Pregnancy is so so hard. This is my second pregnancy, my pregnancy with DC1 (now three) was an absolute dream, worked up until 39 weeks without a day off.
I’m now 31 weeks pregnant with DC2 and it’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I struggled massively with sickness until 16 weeks and then at 17 weeks started with severe insomnia and crippling anxiety (neither have ever been a problem for me before) and been off work on and off ever since.

To all the women out there who don’t love being pregnant and are finding it so hard, there are so many others in your position. Sending you all huge hugs. The thing I keep thinking is it’s not going to last forever, it could be much worse and each day down is a day closer to meeting our previous bundles.