Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Sex in pregnancy? Who's having it? Anyone?

49 replies

RMarieClaire · 30/03/2019 22:22

26+3 now and I had so hoped to be one of those women whose sex drive when up in pregnancy, but I'm really not.

We've probably had sex once a week since conception, but I just feel so fat and unsexy I'm not sure that will last. I also have backache, which is quite the mood killer.

When we do dtd, it's generally great, no pain etc. I just don't feel in the mood very often. Bless my OH has put no pressure on whatsoever, but I help feeling like I should be making more of an effort.

Curious to know what others experiences have been!

OP posts:
DuggeesWoggle · 30/03/2019 22:27

Had amazing sex last night. I'm 17 weeks with a 3 year old who goes to sleep quite late so I'm always knackered and never really want to do it but I know that once I've got going it's usually pretty good. We usually manage it once a week to 10 days. DH loves my bigger boobs and tbh even though I'm bigger than I was in my first pregnancy at this stage I feel so much more relaxed on my body - I'm, I'm literally making a human being, how fucking amazing is that!?

NannyPear · 30/03/2019 22:32

Nope. 35 weeks now tbf and my vagina feels like it's been kicked repeatedly for a week straight, but even throughout the pregnancy we've not had sex. Too tired tbh!

Seriously79 · 30/03/2019 22:39

I hear you OP!

I'm 26 weeks today, and our sex life has been - excuse the pun - up and down.

One day I'm 'ohh yes, let's get naked' and I can't get enough of my boyfriend, the next day well, there is no desire what so ever!

He's been very good about it bless him, we have only been using one position- spooning, and to be honest I think we are both getting bored with it, but I'm too uncomfortable to try anything else.

Baby is really low and my lady bits feel so delicate and swollen 😕 as well as needing a pee on a regular basis 🙄 it's not the best combination.

We talk about it and he knows it's nothing personal, I think it's mainly me putting too much pressure on myself x

anonaon · 30/03/2019 23:03

38 + 2 weeks preggo here and we've maintained a once a week maybe twice the odd generous week . Our usual is 3/4 times a week not preg . I must admit I'm not enjoying it as much at this stage . lights must be off and strictly from behind only lol sorry. I would be lying if I said I didn't have an ulterior motive though in trying to get this baby out in the coming weeks that why I'm on board with sex this late in the game lol

Capybaras · 30/03/2019 23:23

25+4 here and have had no sex drive whatsoever throughout pregnancy. Doing it once a week at most, used to be 2/3 times a week pre-pregnancy. Just don't fancy it at all, but when we do it feels amazing. Just don't have the drive to do it! Feel bad for depriving DH. Thing personally as well I enjoy positions which are now very difficult with a bump!

Mabellavender · 30/03/2019 23:25

We still did it every day when I was pregnant, but we did it every day before Smile dad is 8 weeks now and we’ve only managed to do it 5 or 6 times since she’s been born so make the most of itGrin

BillyAndTheSillies · 31/03/2019 00:07

I'm about to turn 12 weeks and we haven't actually had sex since maybe a week before I found out I was pregnant?

DH is being really supportive, my main reason is nausea and sickness. Secondly I had a fair bit of bleeding with DC1 which was normally put down to an irritated cervix caused by sex. And I don't want to go through all that stress again.

My 12 week scan is on Friday and then providing all ok, normal service will resume.

hipstercat · 31/03/2019 08:26

We did it twice since finding out. First time I found scary and didn't really enjoy, but resolved to get myself together as I knew it was perfectly safe. Second time I bled and had to go to MAU. Never again. Not worth the stress! Maybe it's just that experience but I haven't felt like it really anyway. Luckily dh is very understanding, I'm glad yours is too. I remember a post about this weeks ago, when this had just happened to me, where loads of women said they weren't having sex at all during pregnancy. Made me feel a bit less of an idiot!

greyby25 · 31/03/2019 08:38

I had a really good sex drive with my first. This time not so much, in fact my partner irritates me a lot more this pregnancy but we have just found out it's twins so I'm just going to say it's the extra hormones that are making me not like him 🤦🏻‍♀️ X

AuntMarch · 31/03/2019 08:52

Not since before I found out. But then I also told him I didn't want to be with him before I found out.

boodles101 · 31/03/2019 09:10

In my first pregnancy we didn't in the first 12 weeks as I was too scared incase of miscarriage (had 1 before that) and we did it probably 2 or 3 times between 12-41 weeks, neither of us just felt comfortable and I had zero drive.
This pregnancy we both said we didn't want it to be like last time so made more of an effort and did it normal amounts up to 13 weeks when I discovered I'm having twins. Now I just feel a bit weird again and totally self conscious of my already huge bump (16weeks) and how huge I'm going to be getting compared to last time! Hopefully I'll get over that though.

GabbyGal · 31/03/2019 09:11

You’re having sex once a week, you’re grand!! My poor DP hasn’t had any since January, I’ve just have absolutely zero interest up to now. He’s so lovely about it bless him. Had really bad nausea up to 21 weeks which was the main reason, 23 weeks now and might consider it again now!

Fortheloveofscience · 31/03/2019 09:22

Not since my BFP and I’m now 15 + 3! For the first 12 weeks I was throwing up, covered in itchy hives and couldn’t have felt less sexy. I’m now feeling a lot better, so maybe we will this week. DH is starting to ‘hint’ quite heavily now he knows I’m feeling better whereas when I was unwell he didn’t bring it up at all.

LittleKitty1985 · 31/03/2019 09:42

We had far more sex while I was pregnant than we do now that DS is here - I'm much more exhausted and being covered in milk and vomit is just not sexy. So I suggest you try to have as much sex now as you can haha.

LittleKitty1985 · 31/03/2019 09:44

Oh & about half the times we TRY to have sex, DS starts crying and we have to abandon the attempt, sigh!

melissa1215 · 31/03/2019 09:49

We had sex about twice in the first trimester, we had ivf and I felt really scared and all's I done was sleep, feel sick and sleep more for the first 11 weeks 😂

Suddenly got a boost in my sex drive and we're having it pretty much every other night now and I have more energy (13 weeks tomorrow)

I was kind of worried in the first trimester that we'd never have sex again or I'd forget how to do it because I felt so unsexy and tired hahaha

I can laugh now, but I was so anxious about it at the time

Rememberallball · 31/03/2019 09:50

We have had sex 1 since a Christmas!! I’m currently 13 weeks (and no, getting pregnant wasn’t that once - it’s an ivf pregnancy so we were on a sex ban once my cycle started and, since finding out we were successful, DH hasn’t wanted to very much for fear of making me bleed and risk worrying me unnecessarily; I’ve felt so rough I’ve not been bothered either way as I’ve been poorly on and off with nausea and now had a cold for best part of 3 weeks!!

ThinkingAboutRL · 31/03/2019 09:50

First pregnancy not at all, I had no sex drive and didn't want to at all (girl pregnancy). OH found the concept weird so wasn't really up for it either.

This time I was really up for it until about 30 weeks when I got really big (boy pregnancy). We probably had sex more than we usually do! Think OH was up for it this time as he knows how long it took after our first for me to be up for it again. Ha.

newbabyyy2019 · 31/03/2019 10:25

I'm 13 weeks and done it 3 times since we found out about little one, just been so poorly that haven't actually thought about it.

Original poster
RMarieClaire · 31/03/2019 11:02

@ThinkingAboutRL - that's interesting. I'm having a girl too.

OP posts:
Original poster
RMarieClaire · 31/03/2019 11:04

Thanks all. Hats off to those who said they are every day 

Don't think it helps that we're having building work done and so there's so much to do, I just can't be bothered. Ha. Maybe I'll try to set the mood this afternoon 

OP posts:
64632K · 31/03/2019 12:59

Nothing since we conceived, nada. DH is paranoid that something will go wrong despite me trying my best to initiate things.

IVEgottheDECAF · 31/03/2019 13:05

Since we found out we have had sex about 5 times

17 weeks now

I have 4 dc already and spd

TerriB1984 · 31/03/2019 15:13

I’m 23 weeks and haven’t had sex once since conceiving. It was exactly the same with DD1. Not once throughout the entire pregnancy. Fortunately I have a very understanding hubby.

Popskipiekin · 31/03/2019 15:18

DC1 we would have had sex more, I was up for it, but I bled every time we tried, and once seriously badly I thought I was miscarrying. So didn’t again as not worth the panic.
By DC2 I had had treatment on my cervix to prevent the bleeding and we did have sex more, particularly so towards the end as I was trying to get him out! (Didn’t work...) Not sure it was as much as once a week though - perhaps exhaustion from DC1 had kicked in by then as well.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.