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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Scared about a MC. Warning may be graphic.

29 replies

22dad2be · 28/03/2019 10:24

Warning may be graphic.

Last night me and my girlfriend had sex, after we noticed blood on my penis. She panicked and I quickly googled to try and find something to make her feel better. I found that it could be burst blood vessels of the tender cervix that caused blood to come out. It wasnt flowing out, it just coated my penis.

This morning she comes back from the toilet really upset, she's bleeding again and is having minor cramping. I tell her to call the doctor but she refuses, instead texting her dad saying the baby is gone. I still have hope as I've read some stories of women even passing blood and tissue and having a healthy baby. I tried to talk to her dad and get him to make an appointment for her (
I don't know who her Dr is) but he refuses, says he has had 5 kids and knows its a phantom pregnancy... I'm not convinced.

I told her to take a test on Saturday, 2 days from now and if that comes back positive to book in with the doctor to get a hcg test. She reluctantly agreed obviously not wanting to get her hopes up but I can't just lay down and accept this has happened. And it just seems weird that no one in her family wants her to see a doctor.

Advice anyone please? I can't physically drag her to a doctor I don't know what to do

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Original poster

22dad2be · 28/03/2019 10:26

I forgot to mention she is 5 weeks and 2 days.

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Seeleyboo · 28/03/2019 10:33

Still very early and I doubt DR would be able to do anything at this stage. You could book an early scan with a private clinic but I think you have to be 6 weeks. I may be wrong. This of course didn't mean she's MC. I bled throughout with my 3rd and all was ok.

MyDcAreMarvel · 28/03/2019 10:36

Why would her dad think it’s a phantom pregnancy ?

Original poster

22dad2be · 28/03/2019 10:46

I have no idea to be honest. Part of the reason im so stressed because it doesnt make sense

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Original poster

22dad2be · 28/03/2019 10:48

@Seeleyboo Did you have minor cramps, clotting etc too or just bleeding? I just got off the phone with her doctor because I convinced her to give me the phone number, she's going to call me back once she's figured out what's best

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MyDcAreMarvel · 28/03/2019 10:59

You can both go to the local maternity epu emergency room. They can do a blood test and measure hcg then retest in 48 hours to see if they are doubling. They can also check if her cervix is open or closed. You don’t need an appointment usually.

Original poster

22dad2be · 28/03/2019 12:17

@mydcaremarvel I called the EPU just now they said they can't see us without a GP referral. The GP hasn't even called me back yet 😬😬😬😬😬😬

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Original poster

22dad2be · 28/03/2019 12:32

I called the GP again they said the doctor is going through the call back list and I'll get a call in 20 minutes/half an hour

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chestnut9 · 28/03/2019 13:07

I know how hard this is but try to remember that really nothing you do/don't do at this stage will affect anything. So don't worry too much if she refuses to go to the doctor/EPU. Obviously on an emotional level it sounds like you and she are going some through weird stuff with her family etc, but on a physical level what will be will be.

I had (mainly brown) bleeding and cramps several times through my first trimester - I'm now 21 weeks into a healthy pregnancy.

Original poster

22dad2be · 28/03/2019 13:19

@chestnut9 I know I can't do anything to improve the situation I'm just hopeful that this isn't something serious as I've read lots of people have similar stories. She's now willing to see the doctor/EPU it's just a matter of waiting for a callback now which is driving my anxiety through the roof. I'm the type of person that can't accept something without difinitive proof, which a 6 week scan or hcg test would give us.

Her family aren't being particularly helpful, they seem to have a know if all mentality as childish as that makes me sound. They're very dismissive and pessimistic which doesn't help her stress. Previously she's had help from her parents to make appointments and ask for advice because she feels comfortable with them. I've told her now we are going to get to the bottom of this without telling them what we are doing as they will just tell us we are wasting our time and she seemed happy enough doing that. I just don't understand how someone can see trying to figure out if you've had a miscarriage as a waste of time.. But there we are.

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Original poster

22dad2be · 28/03/2019 13:34

I waited 3 hours for a callback and I was told they needed to speak to my girlfriend who isn't here with me at the moment, they said they would ring her on her number so I notified my girlfriend but apparently they haven't called her yet 🙄

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Original poster

22dad2be · 28/03/2019 13:38

If anyones wondering why I'm doing all the calling and chasing its because my girlfriend has anxiety and when she's stressed especially she can't talk to people

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HJWT · 28/03/2019 14:18

@22dad2be i had a bleed at 4 weeks GP referred me I had a scan saw a sac then a scan at 5+3 saw baby and heartbeat, now 10 weeks! Good luck

Original poster

22dad2be · 28/03/2019 14:20

Thank you @hjwt

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53rdWay · 28/03/2019 14:40

Yes you can have bleeding and have a healthy pregnancy, definitely. But I also want to reassure you that if it is a miscarriage, it wasn’t caused by you having sex. Most early miscarriages are caused by something going wrong right when the sperm and egg join together. Not your fault.

Cherylshaw · 28/03/2019 14:46

I had mild bleeding through my first pregnancy and bled most times after sex and I had a perfectly healthy baby, that's not to say you shouldn't get checked out every body is different, if it is heavy bleeding like a period or cramping I would be more inclined to worry than a bit of spotting

Original poster

22dad2be · 28/03/2019 15:19

We finally got through to the doctor to book an appointment and it's Tuesday 2nd at 9.50am. 5 days away but better than nothing. Also won't get the results for 3 days after that. As you guys have said if it is a MC there's nothing we can do about it so having an earlier appointment won't change anything but I just want to know :( gf has said that she has some aching pains in her lower stomach and some cramping, still hoping it's the uterus expanding and everything moving around to make room. @53rdway thanks for that comment it's reassuring to know that it wasn't my fault. @cherylsaw I found gfs underwear she woke up in this morning that caused her so much panic and its far far far less than a period so that's giving me hope, its 50p (maybe twice the size) sized blots of blood but they seem to be fresh blood rather than dried blood that came out.

I'm staying optimistic, partly because I really want this to work and partly because I cant be weak right now my girlfriend needs me to be strong

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Original poster

22dad2be · 28/03/2019 15:20

@cherylshaw

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DeRigueurMortis · 28/03/2019 15:40

I'm sorry but it's absolutely impossible for anyone here to tell you either way.

Of 3 pregnancies I bled in all of them (in the early stages).

Two ended up as miscarriages and I was sure that would be the outcome for the third but in half an hour a 16 year old boy will walk through the door and start raiding the fridge as if he's been starved for a week (despite having a huge breakfast and pack up for lunch) .

All I can advise is to try and keep calm (easier said than done I know) and hope for the best.

You've done all you can re: getting an appointment and it really is simply a waiting game.

People don't talk about it but miscarriage is far more common than most people think. It's obviously not the outcome you hope for but it's something to be prepared for.

Good luck

DeRigueurMortis · 28/03/2019 15:43

I also second what 53 said.

Cherylshaw · 28/03/2019 15:44

You sound like you are doing a great job being there for your partner especially if she has anxiety, you have an appointment booked so i would try and put it out your mind and try not to let her get stressed or too upset.
I don't know if i have missed it from previous posts but you should call your midwife she may put your minds to ease and can maybe speed up you getting seen.
I always called my midwife over the doctor

Original poster

22dad2be · 28/03/2019 17:06

Thanks everyone for your advice and good wishes, this forum has reduced my stress levels immensely. I've just bought the girlfriend some flowers and donuts, an odd combination but hopefully it'll put a smile on her face 😁😁😁

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PhalangeReginaPhalange · 28/03/2019 17:10

Just for some reassurance I had bleeding early on with bad cramps and went on to have a perfectly healthy baby!

HJWT · 28/03/2019 19:15

@22dad2be the saying is unless its soaking a pad or severe cramps try not to worry :) iv had 3 bleeds the panic never stops each time but saw my healthy baby last week still growing! Fingers crossed...

Isadora2007 · 28/03/2019 19:23

Bless you. I think donuts and flowers are a fab combo. I hope she feels better now and her bleeding eases off and you get some reassurance at your appt. it’s such a worrying time. And for some women cramping and spotting is normal. But obviously not all. Best wishes to you both, and definitely leave her family out of the picture for now.

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