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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Do you ever recover from tearing?

64 replies

Moorhen · 10/07/2007 18:06

Am 39+3 and just spent afternoon with my friend and her 18-month-old. Naturally we talked about birth - she had a smallish baby, only 6lbs, but 3rd degree tearing.

She said she's still not right, and some things including s*x are uncomfortable. But she seems to accept that this is completely normal and nothing can be done.

Am now even more apprehensive and somewhat upset. Is this true?

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LWandLottie · 12/07/2007 20:24

My m/w asked to do an episiotomy as she said it looked like I would tear quite badly inside and out if she didn't. I said she could straight away! She also said it would be easier to stitch if she cut me as it would be a straight line, whereas if I had torn it may well have been all over the place and not very neat.

My episiotomy was not exacty on the small side and I was told that the combination of painkillers they had me on afterwards was stronger than some of the sectioned woman are given. I had a lot of stitches afterwards and the discomfort I was in with them did distress me a fair bit at times.

Looking back I'm glad the m/w cut me, I've healed really well even though it hurt for a good 3-4 weeks. I have been brave enough to look 'down there' recently and although it's big and not very nice, it has healed and it will fade. And dd is totally worth it, easiest pain forgotton (once it's stopped hurting!)

The one thing I am now worrying about now though is using a tampon for the first time post birth, gulp.

yomellamoHelly · 12/07/2007 20:27

Tore with ds1. Had 21 stitches I think. Sex was incredibly painful for 9 months after and just uncomfortable thereafter, but couldn't face surgery to try to improve the situation. Wasn't right until ds2 arrived 3 years later (graze only even though he was bigger) and now feel as good as new 'down there'.

LWandLottie · 12/07/2007 20:32

Oh I sounded like the voice of doom there didn't I!

You'll be fine, all I would say though is that if you do tear of need to be cut be prepared to feel a bit crap afterwards. You might be fine and heal really quickly and not be in much pain. If you are however it can make you feel a bit blue. Because I was hurting a lot I often felt like I was unable to look after my dd properly, looking back I think I did really well considering.

I wish someone had told me all about this before I had her, I also wish I knew just HOW s**t you can feel post birth. For me that was the real shock. But it doesn't last forever, and you get your beautiful baby

LittleMissLate · 13/07/2007 19:34

I had a 2nd degree tear and it took 3 weeks to be comfortable sitting down and 8 weeks to be just about okay for sex (still slightly uncomfortable on penetration but ok once we get going - now 7mths on...). Know someone with 3rd degree tear who had no probs at all - I think a lot depends on the quality of the stitching up afterwards. I cried the first time I looked at myself "down there" at 1 week - I wouldn't recommend looking...

A doctor friend said that a small tear is better then a small cut (edges knit together better for healing) but a large cut is better than a large tear (more controlled).

In the grand scheme of things it really isn't that bad - listen to the midwife and just go with the flow - you'll soon have a gorgeous baby to take your mind off any discomfort!

hoolagirl · 13/07/2007 19:45

I had a load of stitches inside and out (don't know what 'degree') and im 'normal' again. Just the thought of it scares the shit out you though, but its not as bad as the scare stories (well mine wasn't).

hoolagirl · 13/07/2007 19:46

Didn't have the guts to look down there for about 6 months though and was single for first year of ds's life, so no worries there.

kittywits · 13/07/2007 19:51

I've never looked. I've had 3 2nd degree tears. A bit uncomfy at first but always healed without any probs.

tryingtoleave · 14/07/2007 07:06

I was terrified of tearing. I had a small episiotomy with a local anaesthetic and it was not a problem at all.

Leati · 14/07/2007 07:10

If s*x is the problem then she should ask her doctor about lubricant. I never even mentioned to my doc but after my six week check she gave it to me "incase"

kittenbaby · 14/07/2007 11:04

i got 4th degree tearing had a
water birth and didnt push till told and was on all fours all the idea things to avoid tearing my dd was born
weighing 8lb 5 ! at 38 weeks !!
i managed on just gas and air
the birth went really well well i thought that at the time !!
the problems started after the birth
had 4th degree tears
i didnt even know there was such a thing
torn right though my spinghter muscle !!
i did so well at the birth even delivered the placenta without drugs naturally and bf feed while waiting

i thought it had all gone so well then to find out i had serious damage
and then i had to have a spinal tap and operation
for these major repairs
i was crying my eyes out
i was so scared
this was 17 days ago and im still in a LOT of pain
hope no one else has to go though this experience

kittywits · 14/07/2007 13:48

Lord Kittenbaby, that is so unlucky, poor you. Hope you start to heal soon. xxx

SydneyB · 14/07/2007 15:08

Oh Kittenbaby, poor you. Hope you recover v.soon

kittenbaby · 14/07/2007 18:01

thanks kitty and sydney
id never even heard of 4th degree tears beforedidnt know such a thing excisted xx

Pannacotta · 14/07/2007 18:12

I had a 2nd degree tear with DS1 and it healed fine after few weeks (sex felt ok after about 4/5 months). Things bit sore for the first few weeks.
Was keen not to tear again with DS2 and took advice from here. Followed what Lulumama says here. I had a water birth, put my hand to the baby's head at the point of crowning and was all on all fours (well minus one hand at the very end). Result was no tear at all even though DS2 had a larger head cirsumference than DS1. Both weighed around 9lb.

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