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Pregnancy

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Original poster

Do you ever recover from tearing?

64 replies

Moorhen · 10/07/2007 18:06

Am 39+3 and just spent afternoon with my friend and her 18-month-old. Naturally we talked about birth - she had a smallish baby, only 6lbs, but 3rd degree tearing.

She said she's still not right, and some things including s*x are uncomfortable. But she seems to accept that this is completely normal and nothing can be done.

Am now even more apprehensive and somewhat upset. Is this true?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MaloryJaneTowers · 11/07/2007 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BetaMummy · 11/07/2007 16:43

With ds1 I had a 2nd degree tear after a substantial episiotomy (quote from the midwife supervising the one doing the cut.."no half measures")

Ds2 was a water birth and he popped out after one push so no episitomy this time but a pretty bad second degree tear again. The midwife said it was beyond her to stitch me up so called in the big guns (2 doctors)!

Both times I healed fine with very little discomfort afterwards (much more grief from the piles ).

jellyjem · 11/07/2007 16:49

Oh my God ! I had heard you could tear but this all sounds horrendous. Your right its better to know about it before the birth but blimey ....

jem - 15 weeks and 1 day

bagsundereyes · 11/07/2007 18:01

for those who had such bad experiences.

I am lucky enough to add a positive experience.

I had several second degree tears with dd, after ventouse delivery. the stitches were more painful than labour, but everything healed well, and I wasright as rain in a month .

PurpleLostPrincess · 11/07/2007 18:18

Oooooh, I have to state that whether you have torn or had stitches, make sure you've got a jug in the bathroom/loo for after the birth. I remember pouring luke warm water over myself at the same time as having a wee so it diluted the wee and it didn't sting as much...

MrsMar · 11/07/2007 18:21

Hehehe plp, I had heard that one, it sounds a great tip. The other one I heard was to run a few inches of warm ish water in the bath (perhaps with a few drops of tea tree oil) when you want to pee. Sounds like such a faff, but I guess no one wants to sting each time they pee!

MKG · 11/07/2007 18:23

I had 2nd degree tears with both births and really it wasn't a big deal. Were healed about a week and a half later.

emj23 · 11/07/2007 19:32

I'm really quite worried about this now. I'm 28 weeks pg with my second and I have no idea if I had an episiotomy or a tear when DS was born. I was on so many drugs that I can barely remember anything about it. I know I definitely had stitches for something though. I think I'm going to have to ask the MW about this when I see her. Do they have to ask your permission to give you an episiotomy or do they just do it? And is it much more likely to tear if you have had one before? Eeeek.

PrettyCandles · 11/07/2007 22:51

BTW although I tore with my first two births, I didn't tear at all with no3, and he was 11lb. I put that down to the fact that I was upright in water, and completely focused on being relaxed and letting my body do the work, rather than actively pushing.

I also had no stinging when I wee'd after the first two. I used the jug of water to rinse myself off instead of using toilet paper.

Twinklemegan · 11/07/2007 23:01

Emj23 - I put in my birth plan that no one was to do an episiotomy without permission from me or my DH. The community MW did say that in some circumstances they may have to just do it though.

MrsMar - they do use a local anaesthetic. The good thing about this is you don't get the ring of fire thing because you're numb in that area. I had two episiotomies about 1/2 an hour apart because DS just wouldn't come out. I didn't feel either of them.

Having the stitches was something of nothing. They gave me gas and air, which I could finally use properly, and I barely felt a thing. Someone else has said to me the stitches were worse than labour. It must have been a pretty easy labour that's all I can say. I was so worried about having an episiotomy and there is just nothing to it at all.

For me they inserted a pessary which gave me pain relief for 24 hours. After that I took paracetamol which helped with the discomfort. I'd second the other poster who said about taking a jug of warm water to the loo with you to pour over the area while you wee. Better still, have a wee while you're sat in the bath - it's sterile after all. I used tea tree oil in the bath as well - it helps with healing.

massivebigpantsface · 11/07/2007 23:03

I had a 3rd degree tear 5 months ago and am pleased to say that I have healed up really well. The first couple of weeks were quite uncomfortable but I had great painkillers
I am fortunate, I would say that I was completely healed after about two months. It doesn't look quite the same down there, but it is neat and it does the same job iykwim

try not to worry about this, it is not that common that people have such bad tears and it sounds strange now but even if you did you probably won't feel it at the time amidst everything else going on.

rebelmum1 · 12/07/2007 10:20

It's the internal tear that was the worst, the cut caused tearing inside, i had just been induced and hadn't had any drugs then i had to have an epidural and surgery. I'm very allergic to painkillers so was in bloody agony for weeks. I'm fine now, not properly healed inside tho. 00 it was awful - i felt totally unprepared what to expect with the tearing. I think being relaxed if u can makes a vast vast vast difference. Next one will be at home that's for sure.

Rantmum · 12/07/2007 10:24

I had an episiotomy and whilst I have also heard that tearing heals better, I did not have ANY problems and was fully healed in 2-3 months. I would be happy to have an episiotomy if necessary with no 2 because my experience was positive. I would be afraid of tearing. But that is just me.

rebelmum1 · 12/07/2007 10:47

yes lucky you - but for most people a cut takes longer to heal.

Rantmum · 12/07/2007 10:54

Well rebelmum1, the anecdotal evidence here, so far, does not suggest that to be the case - some of these tear stories are pretty bad.

Sorry if my experience bothers you for some reason rebelmum1. "yes lucky you"? What is that supposed to mean?

rebelmum1 · 12/07/2007 10:56

there is evidence and its not anecdotal

rebelmum1 · 12/07/2007 10:58

i'm just being grumpy btw not your fault at all, i'm just peed off by my own personal experience which was in my mind unecessary.

Rantmum · 12/07/2007 11:06

Fine and statistics are always useful in decision making, but they do not tell the whole story. Anyway, in my original response I never said that having a tear was a bad idea!

All that I explained in my post was that my personal experience of having an episiotomy was as positive an experience as such a thing can be. I had a pretty rough labour and I am glad that I can pass on one thing from it that worked out well.

Of course not needing a cut, or tearing would be the best outcome, but in many labours that is not an option.

MrsMar · 12/07/2007 11:50

I was just curious and doing some research... not that this is relevant to the op, however it seems that episiotomies aren't that common, only 13% in 2002/3

some interesting statistics

SydneyB · 12/07/2007 12:10

I had an episiotomy and did have a few problems afterwards. My advice would be to hassle hassle hassle HV/Doc afterwards if you're not happy as they can sort things out. But also, try not to worry TOO much. Its amazing what you cope with and it does generally all heal up and you get over it and its all totally eclipsed by having your lovely baby I promise. And just to second what people have said, they do local anaesthetic and you really don't feel a thing at the time (well, i didn't) and you're generally too busy to kind of notice.

Emprexia · 12/07/2007 13:24

I tore and needed quite a few stitches, it did take a while to heal.

i think probably what your friend is experiencing is just like any where thats been damaged, it takes a while to get back to normal.

My DS is 10mo old now, and i think im 99% healed, some positions are still uncomfortable, but thats to be expected, they say it takes up to a year to heal properly.

PrettyCandles · 12/07/2007 18:32

Don't accept continuing pain and discomfort as normal.

I wouldn't have known that there was anything actually wrong had I not been examined. I couldn't see the repair, so I didn't know that it hurt because it had not healed, and that some of the tissue inside the tear was necrotic - ie putrifying.

FrayedKnot · 12/07/2007 18:41

Sorry for your friend's experiences.

A friend of mine had to have surgery post birth of her DS to put things right so I know it can go a bit awry sometimes - but can be put right too.

However, on the positive side, I had a 2nd degree tear, no problems afterwards (not even stinging wee), and back to normal within a few weeks. I refused to look at my stitches because I didn;t want to be put off so I asked the MW to check a couple of times that everything was OK and healing up.

After a few weeks I had a look and it all looks exactly the same as before I ahd DS, and feels the same too.

I think I was probably slightly lucky as one of the community MW commented on how beautifully they had stiched me up.

A MW stiched me, not a Dr, btw.

She was obviously a seamstress ina former life

winegumss · 12/07/2007 20:01

I have 3 children, with ds1 an episiotomy and stitching, which needed to be re stitched 2 months later and was very painful, I was given excellent pain killers and a numbing cream a bit like bongella for sex for a while. With dd1 a 3rd d tear and again restitched because the midwife had used too much cotton and it was all still there 3 months later and getting painful and a 3rdd tear and was ok after two months or so. Included in that I had some nodules removed as they were sticking out! Any how, gory stuff, but it is nothing when you have a beautiful baby to love and hold and you really do forget it very rapidly - so please don't worry and fingers crossed you have an easy birth. BTW My easiest birth was just gas and air and staying upright - just thought I might add that tip

RuthT · 12/07/2007 20:05

Some good advice on here if you are worried which I had forgotten until I re read it here. Get your birthing partner to support you in pushing what you want. Really do try to stand up it really helps and if they want you to lie down try to resist as much as possible - I negotiated kneeling on the bed so I could hold on to the bed stead - much easier.

Tea tree in the bath and a jug of water when you are peeing is really useful.

And last but not least - none of this will really matter once you've had your little one!

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