Pregnancy rant thread - let those hormones fly!

[sweetkitty]

This is my rant, told everyone about the new pregnancy and as well as the congratulations I've had the following: (3rd DB have 2 DDs already)

1. most asked, was it planned? WTF what a thing to ask, no we have absolutely no clue about contraception almost everyone has asked this I would never ask someone something so personal as to whether they were using contraception or it had failed. Have come back with "yes DP and I had loads of unprotected sex around ovulation"

2. so are you wanting a boy? yes if it's a girl we will be really disappointed not bother naming her and lock her in a cupboard. If I was going to be that upset with a DD I wouldn't have another baby.

3. where are you going to put them all you only have 3 bedrooms? what does everyone else do? A few years ago you would get 6 kids in one room.

4. what if it's twins? we'll sell one on ebay

5. oh you'll have your hands full/are you mad etc etc I mean how are you supposed to answer that.

[angry}

so does anyone else want to join me in a pregnancy rage?

Oh sorry I know I shouldn't go on, but I have to add this gem I'd forgotten.

DH was having a tough time at work when my mum was staying, and as a result was usually quite tired and a bit grouchy when he came home from work.

She had a "quiet word" with me the day she left, that I needed to look after the place better when he was out - he obviously expects the house to be clean and tidy all the time - even though I was recovering from an operation, I should still do as much around the house as I could to make it better for him.

I told DH this later this night and he couldn't decide whether to laugh or bash her head in - of course he wasn't cross with me for not having done much around the house - DH is great and realised I was still in a lot of pain - he was annoyed with my mum for expecting me to do all the cleaning when that's what SHE was meant to be there to do!

OK, I'll really stop now!

Incidentally, as for the bump touchers I have all of this yet to come (I'm only 16 wks) - a couple of options though:

• twirl around/proffer other bits of your body when they're all touchy-feely - ask them if they want to cop a feel of your boobs and bum, or if they're quite done yet.

• wince in agony when they touch you and explain you have a debilitating condition where the touch of annoying people makes your skin burn.

• slap their hands away, and say "Don't touch!" in the same way you'd say to a child

OK - I'll really really stop now!

I'm now getting one question that seems really stupid to me (considering the way I fed DD)
I keep getting asked "Are you going to BF?"

Ummm. let me think. . . I had no trouble last time, except a little soreness to start with, and had a great time for 9 months and then got really upset when DD stopped feeding!
Think that's a big fat NO then is it?!! Of course I'm going to BF!
I would have to be really stupid or stupidly busy to not try at least!!

Yeah, can you see me getting up at stupid O'clock, trudging downstairs, heating a bottle, trudging back upstairs and sitting there with LO until ready to go back to bed?
Think I'd rather just pass out in a chair with LO going at it LOL

And these Q's seem to come from my mum and nan, well, they are a bit mental. . . .

Oh, I hate that question, too! (Are you going to BF?) and they look at you like you're crazy either way.

My mother, who claims she BFed me, was shocked when I said that the WHO recommends 6 months exclusive breastfeeding. I think she did it for about 6 days.

kyala - I've had the same from my Mum "so are you going to breastfeed this one as well" erm why would I not I've done it twice before as you said it's a lot less hassle. I think it's because when she had babies no one was encouraged to breastfeed it was seen as weird and that bottle fed babies were more content and slept better (what she told me)!

That's another one

"are you going to (looks around to see if anyone is listening) BREASTFEED? like they have just said "are you going to sacrifice it to the dark lord" bit extreme but you know what I'm saying.

My SIL (who, as you'll see from my threads, does my head in) asked me if I planned to breastfeed. Sure, that is indeed my plan. When I told her this, she proceeded to tell me how disgusting breastfeeding was and how she couldn't even bear the thought of it. And that should interest me because.....?

She's also sticking her bloody great nose into the religious side of things telling us that we should absolutely get our child christened as they "won't ever be able to be a godparent otherwise".. So the complete hypocracy is neither here nor there then (DH and I are atheist/agnostic).

Also, she begged us to find out the sex as she wanted to buy frilly dresses. She told us that she hates blue so would be upset if it's a boy.

It sounds like you have the SIL from hell Marie!

Bizarrely, both my parents and DH's parents have asked us if we're going to get the LO christened. Now none of them are religious (although both me and DH were christened) and haven't been to church for decades, and we had a registry wedding.

Why would we be hypocrites, and get the baby christened??

Naetha, I totally agree. Unless you intend to bring up the child in a religious manner, it's hypocracy and I won't make a liar of my child or myself.

We had a civil ceremony too so I don't understand why all of a sudden we should be expected to, at least overtly, embrace religion. Utter nonsense.

Everyone asked me if it was planned with my first pregnancy! I cannot understand why and I thought it was soooo rude. Did they just presume no one would want a baby?

And then, from my MIL, 'Are you upset you are having a boy?' and later, 'You must be jealous of your cousin (who is having a girl)'. No and no!

Oooh, fab thread!!
Ok..people telling you about their miscarriages when you tell them you're pregnant....

The man I share my office with telling me his wife didn't have one day off work while she was pregnant (probably so she could get away from him)

Being constantly told how big you are..honestly, soooo annoying, especially by people who've never been pregnant, and especially when you know you are exactly the size you are supposed to be - I did nearly kill a few people over this

And now that my baby is actually very nearly due, people saying "Still here?" like, what is that supposed to mean? Do I disappear when the baby arrives? Where am I supposed to be going?

Ooohh, this feels good!!

I agree fab thread!

Colleagues asking me how i am feeling and regardless of my response (ok, little tired etc etc) - telling me I'll start feeling much worse yet...but not to worry because it is all worth it!!

Asking how far along i am (29 weeks)...oh, you wait til the end - you'll explode!

My favourite two comments so far.....'so are you fat yet?' - from a colleague who works in a different office and the best one 'alright fattie' - that last one was so off the wall, I actually had to laugh!

The bump touching hasnt actually happened, even my close friends have all asked permission about whether they can rub the bump!

What a great thread.

The other day I told my DP that the midwife had booked us places on ante-natal classes held at the local hospital where we're planning to have the baby.

He thought it would be fun to try to wind me up by saying he didn't want to go. I didn't rise to it, but just calmly said 'Fine, you don't have to go if you don't want to'.

Having failed to get me to rant, he then tried to wind me up by saying he was going to do what his dad did when he was born - i.e. sit in a waiting room, and not be present at the birth. Again, I didn't rise to it, and just told him it was his decision, and that if he didn't want to be there I'd get one of my cousins to accompany me.

Finally, after failing to wind me up, he admitted defeat and confirmed he would be going to the ante-natal classes, and asked what subjects they covered.
I mentioned that pain relief was one of the topics, and he piped up and told me that the girlfriend of a bloke he works with gave birth with no pain relief apart from a 'couple of paracetamols'. 'Good for her' I said, as I pictured myself in the labour room, strangling DP with the gas & air pipe...

Eaglebird - your DP is incredibly brave. Don't think DH would even dare. You were VERY restrained to not rise to it!

OK, my favourites so far:

1. No offence (says Dave From the Next Office), but you can't get much bigger now, can you? (Actually, YES I CAN, because i have FIVE WEEKS to go and I`m expanding all the time AAAAAAARGH. And it is a nice neat bump anyway, you paunchy fool.)

2. You look like youve got twins in there. (No I flippin dont, see above).

3. Did I tell you about my sister/friend/cousin/friend of friend of friend? She had a TERRIBLE labour, 72 hours and 12th degree tearing, she said she could see into her own stomach. Then a C-section without pain relief and a colostomy bag. She`s never been the same since. (WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS? WHY?)

4. Do you realise how much it will hurt? (It doesn`t tickle? F**k me...).

...And the best of all, delivered by a woman in the office when I was 37+5 and about to leave work:

5. Oooh, have you had the baby yet? (I look down at my bump. I look at her, using killerdeathstare. I wait. She blushes and runs away.)

I have a theory that bumps give off fumes that interfere with people`s ability to make sensible conversation...

I hate the constant staring at the bump saying "oh your carrying for a boy" even if you say no we had a scan the baby is a girl "are you sure because thats a boy bump" yes you shop woman are so much more qualified than a professional sonographer to just look at the shape of a bump and tell the sex of the baby.

WTF is a boy or girl bump???

On the basis that more annoying things must have happened in the last few days - my current favourite is

"Are you coming back to work"

"Yes"

"Really? You won't want to when the baby arrives - everything will be different"

"Well possibly but you are rather assuming that I am here now from love, rather than because I, like you, need to pay my mortgage, so unless you know Saturday's lottery numbers please F* Off!"

What a fab opportunity for a rant! Feel like you are all living in my head . My current faves are the people who ask if you have any names in mind then screw their noses up at anything you suggest be it ultra-traditional or wild and wacky. And people who point out "you really look pregnant now!" I hadn't noticed. Must admit tho, may have said some of these things myself in pre-pregnancy days

Current favourite - wheeled in on Saturday for an x-ray of my leg. I'm 7 months gone. Radigrapher smiles, looks at the leg, produces a form and says, 'Is there any risk at all you might be pregnant?' No mate, it's the biggest hernia in the world. 30 mns later, wheeled in for yet another x-ray. New radiographer, stares at leg and says the same thing. And I thought these guys were recruited for their acute eyesight!

Sarahloumadam - My irk is when people ask if you have chosen names and then are offended if you don't tell them what's on your list. (I have heard that people tend to sneer because they wouldn't choose it) Surely it is up to us?

Absolutely agree with all this. I've had random people rubbing my stomach (I felt like burping and then thanking them - it's okay, I didn't really do it), people wanting to know my list of names and then proceeding to slag off every single one of them, people telling me that finding out the sex is like 'opening your Christmas presents in August' - oh for crying out loud. I ate a prawn a while ago without thinking and had horrified looks and comments but when I asked if some mayonnaise was home-made was told I was taking the guidelines on food too far... RAAAH

I am going to slap the next person who says with horror I look like I am about to drop when I tell them I still have 7 weeks to go!!!!!!! (Have big bump due to too much fluid).

Oh - have eaten prawns galore - am missing parma ham and pinch a sliver of DH's plate occasionally........ But comments on what food is ok is another thing that bugs me!!!

ah can I today please this has been building up since yesterday.

DH is working nights i'm not sleeping v well - mix of pg and DH away, boyo is ratty as hell and every little thing makes him cry. DH is cross with me by dayt cos we're not quite yet ther's only so many times I can walk round the fecking block. the dinner made me feel sick yesterday and today I feel totally fat and bloated. I ate all the chocolate cookies (the expensive ones) so DH moaned when I started on his value ones - he's taken all the choc cake I baked to work - how v rude of him even thou I told him to, he's taken both the blooy tin openers - I mean seriously how many does one man need? and then to cap it off I've ran out of squash.

i'm exhausted and compltely hormonal, want to cry athte drop of a hat or shout at DH/DS/dog whomever happens to be closest a the time cos my boobs hurt and it's not their fault. but anyways.

ahhh that feels better now - ooh and DS decided to pour his paddleing pool over the front room carpet - yes my fualt DH laughed I copped the needle as it's another thing for me to clean! lol - was my own fualt in the first place, but it kept DS quite for half hour which was hte main point.

ah. feel better now.

Couldn't agree more Rach35, learnt my lesson the hard way and I'm keeping schtum now until the baby is born (although I can just hear it now "ooh he doesn't look like a "!)
Next gripe - people who say "enjoy this holiday - you won't have another one for 18 years!" WHAT?!

Oh yes the food police! Have eaten loads of lovely prawns and enjoying the occassional glass of wine and they can all stuff off. Was even told off by a chef for eating scallops but I said was ok so long as they were cooked properly I said sweetly "I presume you have cooked them properly?".

My dd has various probs as a result of a chromo abnormality. Was really angry t'other day when one of her opthamologists began quizzing me about whether I'd had all my antenatal tests and checks this time round. Like what fookin business is it of hers? Grrr really resented the implications that a) I might need a newly qualified fookin eye tester to put me in the picture of complex genetic condition I carry b)it would be grossly irresponsible and negligent to make another 'burden' like dd c) I was somehow a bit slack with antenatal care first time round (that was the this time bit)and d) that I'd want to discuss something so personal in such a casual manner

And it was just plain rude really