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Pregnancy

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Original poster

Time off work after miscarriage

31 replies

sophied1983 · 21/02/2019 07:46

I know everyone is different and heals differently (physically and emotionally), but interested to hear how long you took off?

My usual style with things is to plough on and keep going.

Found out on Tuesday at a scan at the Early Pregnancy Unit that I was to miscarry and bleeding started last night.

Am off work this week anyway to cover childcare. But come Monday...

OP posts:

MrFlibblesEyes · 21/02/2019 08:01

Sorry you are going through this x. I started miscarrying on the Wednesday, had the rest of the week off and was back at work on the Monday (which was Christmas day). It was early, so physically it wasn't too bad, emotionally I probably wasn't ready (especially when a coworker announced her pregnancy on boxing day). Still for me being at home with my own sadness wasn't helping - I needed to just get on with things to distract me x

Glitterandunicorns · 21/02/2019 08:09

Hi @sophied1983. I'm so sorry for your loss. When I had a MC, I was off work for 2 weeks and there's no way I could have gone back any sooner. People cope in different ways, but I knew I couldn't concentrate on complicated things and could barely get through the days without crying.
Be kind to yourself and take whatever time you need.

Karigan195 · 21/02/2019 08:16

I went to work when this happened to me. It helped take my mind off it and in reality it’s like having a bad period but with more emotional pain.

Karigan195 · 21/02/2019 08:16

I am sorry for your loss 💐

coffeekittens · 21/02/2019 08:19

I’m so sorry for your loss. I took 6 weeks off, physically it took me about 2 weeks to recover however I worked with babies and it would have been extremely unfair on us all for me to have worked when that emotional.

physicskate · 21/02/2019 08:33

Bleeding for me started on a Friday. I left work early and didn't go in on the Monday (mostly because I felt really dizzy). I was back on the Tuesday because Missing work just created that much more work and because I didn't feel I could be honest with my line manager. But mine was much more chemical pregnancy than mc. Emotionally, I'm probably still not quite right nearly two years on.

PeanutButterIsOneWord · 21/02/2019 08:38

I'm so sorry

I only took 2 days off which in hindsight was not enough time. Thought I could power through but struggled for months. Don't underestimate how much it can take out of you physically as well as emotionally.

TerriB1984 · 21/02/2019 09:53

I didn’t take any time off at all. The day my MC started my DH off work ill. He’s rubbish when he’s unwell and to be honest I’d rather be at work than at home looking after him. Different people cope differently though and for me being at work helped take my mind off it. Because it was very early physically it wasn’t that bad. Just a heavy period.

Babycakes1989 · 21/02/2019 12:47

Everyone is different but I had a week off after my mmc last year. I found out at my 12 week scan then opted for D&C and they couldn’t fit me in until following Friday. So had op on Friday , weekend to recover (recovery was very good physically) and I went back to work on the Monday. I work in a small office and most of them knew what happened as I wanted them to know incase I got upset etc. I’m glad they did, everyone was so lovely and supportive. I found work a comfort and distraction and threw myself back in, although had quite a few cry’s on the way home in the afternoons. Everyone is so different and if you return and feel it’s too much you have every right to take some more time 😘💐 sorry for your loss xxxx

Stuckforthefourthtime · 21/02/2019 12:51

I didnt take any time off, but mostly because I hadn't told my work yet (they were at 8 and 10 weeks) and it wasn't a very supportive environment. It was horrible, I was going through a pad every hour or two and cramping, in hindsight I should have been signed off for a week or so. The emotional side took me a while to feel better in ant case, so an extra week wouldn't have made a difference.
So sorry for your loss and hope you are as well as you can he in the circumstances.

GinaJabowski · 21/02/2019 12:55

So sorry you're going through this OP. I had a mc last May & had 2 weeks off sick leave & had had 2 weeks booked off at the end of those 2 weeks to go away anyway so had a month in the end. Physically it only took me about a week and a half to recover. Don't think I will ever be mentally healed. Sending you love and positive thoughts

Thirtyrock39 · 21/02/2019 15:28

Miscarriage at 6 weeks on a Monday went back the following week. I was physically and emotionally fine by then after a tough first few days - I would have taken longer if not so go by how you're feeling it's different for everyone.

Jackshouse · 21/02/2019 15:47

First time two weeks and the second time much longer but I was bleeding heavily (x20 clots an hour the size of orange, not constant but several times a day) and there was no way I could have managed that at work.

mariethecat · 21/02/2019 17:13

First mc at 12 weeks I had 2 days whilst I miscarried at home
Second and third mc at 7 weeks I worked from home as the process was much quicker
Fourth loss was ruptured ectopic and I nearly died on the Monday worked from home the following week
Everyone is different and looking back I should have taken more time off but I'm very much a carry out kind of person and I felt being alone at home was making me feel worse and I just needed to be around other people x

PhoebeMouse · 22/02/2019 11:34

I took a week off - we had the scan on the Friday, then it was bank holiday Monday and I had surgery at the hospital on the Tuesday and went back to work the following Monday. I really struggled that first week back though because I was so upset, but the last couple of days at home on my own were harder than being at work because I didn't have much to do so was spending so much time googling and thinking about everything. I think just respond to how you are currently feeling in yourself - even if you go back to work and then want to come home again. Look after yourself.

dobbysmum · 22/02/2019 12:27

So sorry you're going through this xx
I took 9 days off, in hindsight i should have taken more as I was an emotional wreck but I was under pressure to go back and my boss wasn't sympathic at all, just told me his ex had 3 and she went back to work straight away. I worked in a supermarket, and when I took my note in from the hospital, he wouldn't discuss it in private, just dealt with it on the shop floor with staff and customers milling about.

You take as much time as you need, get a note from the hospital or your gp and if you need more time you can always get an extension xx

AlexaShutUp · 22/02/2019 12:34

I had the afternoon off while I was at A&E and I think some further time off because I needed to go back for a scan/blood tests, but apart from that, I believe I went to work as usual. I think that was the best approach for me, and it helped me to be around people and stay in a normal routine. However, everyone is different and what worked for me might be the worst possible response for someone else.

We all cope with things in different ways. I don't think there is a right or wrong way of dealing with this situation.

AlexaShutUp · 22/02/2019 12:37

Should add that I was hundreds of miles away from friends and family (including DH) when my MC occurred, so in a weird kind of way, maybe I felt that I had to just keep going.

On the positive side, I did experience the tremendous kindness of strangers.

tomhazard · 22/02/2019 15:15

I was signed off by the doctor for 8 days. It's the only time I ever have been signed off but aside from the bleeding to marriage, the hormones meant I just couldn't stop crying. I'm a teacher so it would have been inappropriate to work in that state. Take what you need and recover properly- it's
Tough both physically and emotionally

tomhazard · 22/02/2019 15:16

To marriage = from the miscarriage...

buddy79 · 22/02/2019 15:54

I found out I’d had mmc at scan on thu, had surgery the following tue, and took the rest of that week off. I was unwell immediately before with a migraine so had actually been off sick prior to the scan too, so 2 weeks total. That was about right for me - I was ready to go back and was fully able to work. But it varies so much. I had to take a morning off in my following pregnancy 8 months later as I got so anxious it would happen again and just broke down and couldn’t stop crying. Luckily only with my lovely colleagues who were v understanding.

Tobebythesea · 22/02/2019 16:00

For me, my miscarriages were definitely not like a heavy period. Very painful and a lot of blood. I had a week off but should have taken longer. I was in a new job and didn’t feel able to take more time off.

Original poster

sophied1983 · 22/02/2019 17:04

It's been such a bittersweet week. Have loved spending time off with my daughter - it happening this week rather than a standard working week was probably for the best. She's been so lovely giving me cuddles and telling me she loves me. Baby would have been due the day after her third birthday in September.

Me and hubby went out for dinner last night and both got pretty upset :( we said about booking a couple of holidays as having something positive to look forward to as a family might help.

I think I'll go back to work on Monday as I would have done anyway after my leave. I get anxious when I'm behind at work. I was planning to work from home on Thurs which I still might do, or just take it off - that would have been our official twelve week scan day.

Meant to be visiting a work colleague and her new-ish baby on Fri. Might have to be one that I cancel for now. Bit too soon perhaps.

OP posts:

CottonSock · 22/02/2019 17:07

I needed a week off when I had a mc that was at 11 weeks, still fragile back at work. Whereas I worked through one at 5 weeks. Had another at 6 weeks and needed a few days off as it was mc 4 and I was emotionally shattered (I have two girls now happily)

Dimsumlosesum · 22/02/2019 17:08

I didn't have a choice and had to work.

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