Hyperemesis Support

[LucindaE]

I hope everyone suffering from the Horrors of Hyperemesis will find this thread useful as a source of support and information.
There's no TMI on here - can't be by definition - and nobody should feel ashamed of moaning as much as they feel the need to.
MOH's wonderful website is full of useful information on this illness:
sites.google.com/site/pregnancysicknesssos
Another invaluable website is:
www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk
If you need help in obtaining medication, phone them on:
024 7638 2020
Lastly, the NICE guidelines on treatment are useful:
cks.nice.org.uk/nauseavomiting-in-pregnancy
I would like to thank everyone who has given such invaluable support and advice on this and on previous threads.
Remember when you are at your worst, 'This Too Shall Pass'. It really will.
So many women on this thread have thought they couldn't get through this, but they did.
It has been suggested that I add some practical tooth cleaning advice: a lot of sufferers find using a child's small toothbrush and strawberry toothpaste far less nauseating.
On my image of a pink castle: that is an image I use because when I was little, my family had a Snakes and Ladders board with an image on the last square of a pink castle in the clouds. As Hyperemesis is so like a grotesque version of Snakes and Ladders - eat a meal, go up a ladder, first thing in the morning bile run, down a snake - I have used the image of that pink castle on the last square of that Snakes and Ladders board as a metaphor for the happy end of Hyperemesis.

Hi all

Mil emailed me today. She just really doesn’t get it. She constantly makes comments about how she remembers feeling sick when she was pg so knows how I feel. I had made a comment about counting down the days and weeks until it ends. She replied she spoke to a pg woman today who was in her last week before mat leave at 36 weeks who was also counting down the days. Mil said all pg women do that don’t they. Yes mil, all women are signed off for months, have to cancel hospital appointments because they can’t lift their head from their pillow or they might be sick. Pg women always spend nearly a year isolated and lonely and incapable of doing even the simplest and smallest of tasks. Pg are all counting down every hour, day and week until the end from before af was even missed and spend weeks seriously contemplating an abortion for a desperately planned and wanted baby because they can’t cope feeling like this for the next second let alone the next day. Yes mil, because I’m directly comparable to someome at 36 weeks still working but counting down the days. Honestly, it just makes me cross.

Eal have you had any more bleeding recently? I don’t think you’ve mentioned it for a few days which is something.

Chj you need to get some effective medication on your repeat as soon as you can. See another gp if you can or if you can’t ask to be referred to a consultant. Pregnancy sickness support charity told me you are entitled to a referral if they won’t prescribe and they can’t refuse.

Cattaxi have you tried metcoploride?

Beforeihit glad wor kare being good.

Have heard nothing from mh team after my mw rung them to chase them up for me when they discharged me because they called me twice and I didn’t answer but they left no message for me to contact them. They felt that was sufficient to discharge me . Given up on them helping me at this point. It’s been weeks since they should have started to support me. By the time they get their act together I expect it’ll be my due date!

@Reastie I know how it feels mine kept telling me I was going to be better by a certain week and now won't shut up about how she wants it to be a boy which is making my rebellious side really want a girl just so she's wrong.
She also kept being like I was the same but then told me to stop the medication or I'd harm the baby. Seriously MIL's are right pains in the ass.

@chj17 welcome to the nicest group of people ever (sorry you're joining us!)

I survived my first day back at work and the service user doesn't want me back because I'm pregnant so right back at square one again which has me stressed. Also have the 20 week scan tomorrow and I'm stressed about that too but looking forward to getting (and hopefully it staying down) a five guys and their magic soda machine, it'll be my first one this year and I swear this baby better cooperate with me over this because I'm a tight arse and don't want to have to pay for one to end up not digesting.

Thank you so much for your kind messages. It’s so reassuring to know other people are going through similar things. I had no idea that pregnancy could be so isolating. I’ve made a doctors appt for Monday to try and get a repeat or at least an alternative. Fingers crossed and thanks for all your advice, will get on the anti acids and laxatives.

I have had two TV ultrasounds this week - one on Monday as I was so unwell in hospital and one private one today that I had already booked in to give me something to look forward to in the weeks. I’m quite worried now though as on both scans (4 days apart) the dating given was 7w3d. I used an OPK so I don’t think that can be right and it seems odd for the embryo not to have grown at all - v worried that being so ill has caused lasting damage. The sonographer told me not to worry as a healthy heartbeat and all looks ok but I can’t shake the fear. I don’t suppose anyone else has had something similar?

Hoping everyone’s days have been as bearable as possible

Sorry meant to say I think i should be 8w1d x

I think @chj17 that the dates on scams so early on are pretty hit & miss. They are measuring something so small, it can be hard to get right. Don’t worry about it. You will get a firm date at your 12 week scan.

@avacadooo well done on your first day back at work. Good luck with the scan tomorrow.

Thanks all for the alternative meds suggestions. I’ll see my gp next week if things don’t improve. Today was a much better day & i’m Feeling much more positive for it. I have my ds tomorrow after his morning at school and would really love it if I can manage a nice fun afternoon with him.

chj17 welcome to no ones favourite club but the members are all certainly lovely and here for tips and support or just to hear your complaints and niggles, any time. I can sympathise with your DH, and how you’re feeling too. I’ve cared for DH a for long periods in the past due to a chronic illness he has, where I’ve been out working, studying, looking after small children, doing all housework, and just feeling totally run down, so I sympathise, but, he can and will survive. Working carers make up a not insignificant proportion of the working population and there are tips out there for how to manage. And he must be clear on this, you are currently in the depths of a pretty awful sickness - you can’t change that with any amount of goodwill - so it’s all about managing until that changes. The good thing is you know there is a time limit to this - baby will be born eventually! - so it’s about finding coping strategies/shortcuts/outside help etc in the meantime, and hopefully things will improve significantly before the birth anyway. In our case, DH has done pretty much everything and is pretty beat as a result, luckily he stays at home and is slowly growing his own business so he has flexibility, nonetheless it’s tiring being the one to take care of absolutely everything but it’s what he is doing as I just can’t right now. He totally gets that this isn’t a walk in the park for me, and feels bad for me because I spend so much time feeling awful, understanding the fullness of my sickness and knowing that this isn’t like normal morning sickness has helped him to also understand what is needed and why things are so different this time around.

Obviously with me now in the being cared for boat with hyperemesis I understand how guilty one can feel, even though you’ve done nothing wrong. I have two other children and work full time and this is my first pregnancy with hyperemesis, so it all took me by surprise. I will echo the need for medication, and add to that the need for rest, as even minor exertion can make the sickness worse especially in the peak sickness time which you’re in. Somewhere around 8-12 weeks seems to be universally pretty bad for everyone, for me it was pretty much 5-13 weeks were awful, I’m now nearly 17 weeks and have good days and overall feeling better, can get out of the house sometimes for 1-2 hours, but still not back at work or doing all of my usual household tasks. So there’s a mental adjustment needed, lower your expectations and just focus on resting.

I will reiterate, I totally get the guilt for family, and why your DH is drained, but this is what it is - this isn’t your run of the mill pregnancy, this only affects around 1-2% of pregnant women and it’s important you rest and manage the illness so that you don’t end up with repeat hospital trips. Lower the household standards and outsource anything you can, eg if family can help with your child, ordering in groceries (or in my case, often takeaways!), make it as simple as possible. It’s very industry and organisation dependent, but if your DH is an employee does his employer have policies to support carers at work? Or at least, could he speak with his manager about it, see what options he has to help provide some flex for him? If he’s self employed, are there other options to reduce his workload temporarily without too much of a financial hit?

I shall conclude my ramble there I hope you can get your meds sorted soon and find a system for the whole family that works. Don’t worry about the 15mo, they will be fine, and also so will the baby - even though you may feel horrendous the baby is fine in there, there is no evidence of adverse impact on the babies of mothers with hyperemesis. However you do need to take care of yourself, to avoid dehydration and hospitalisation.

avacadooo You had me laughing out loud at not wanting to waste your Five Guys I can appreciate that.

Reastie Sorry to hear MIL continues to not understand, and that’s also so disappointing about the MH team I hope you have some good news/a good day soon (one where people just understand you and support you, in all arenas!).

I’m feeling rubbish and I’m convinced it’s these antibiotics For added fun, they make my pee neon yellow. It’s quite something. Only a few more days and I’m done, hopefully I will feel better once I’ve come off of them. Also have a Tesco order in the morning full or breakfast goods with thanks to all of the suggestions here!

Let's see if I can't catch up...

reastie no bleeding since 10th March. I'm hoping its settled. I had my colcoscopy yeaterday (most undignified!) Which was completely clear. Placenta is fine. So hopefully that little spell of bleeding is done now. Regards you MIL, it really is frustrating and upsetting when people don't get it, isn't it. Trying to be positive (and perhaps being kinder than she deserves), it sounds like she is trying to understand when she refers to feeling sick herself - if she only has 'normal' sickness as her frame of reference, thats all she can use. Difficult, i know. Is there any way you can afford a private counsellor? Mine has been worth her weight in gold. I was in a slightly different position, as i saw her for 8 months in 2017, so had a relationship with her already. But she has been invaluable for helping me talk thru stuff and holding a safe space for me.

avacadoo well done on first day back at work! Disappointing about the service user tho. Try not to worry! Easier said than done is the scan today? Enjoy it :) understandably a bit worrying, but how exciting to see your baby!!

chj I reckon this dates are all closw enough to be ok. Strong heartbeat is important as sonographer said. When you see GP do stand your ground and don't leave without a prescription for the meds - sometimes you need to be a little assertive. Some GPs are fabulous, however and hopefully you'll get one of those (I'm a little bit in love with lobe, who has been awesome at basically giving me whatever ask for in huge amounts so I don't have to worry!).

beforei do your antib's have a name beginning with n? I was on those a few weeks ago and the neon yellow pee was most disconcerting! It was at a time when I was still bleeding regularly, so the colour combos were hilarious (looking back, at the time they were pretty stressful!).

Wishing all a peaceful day

chj17 Try not to worry; as others say, dating scans early on are inaccurate and I never heard myself of anyone having any cause to worry about the effects of Hyperemesis on growth so early. It is amazing the way the babies thrive later on, too, as long as you make sure that you are not severely dehydrated for long periods. I am glad you have an appointment. It might be an idea to take an advocate if you feel that it is too exhausting to fight your corner.
eallisonGreat advice.I am so glad there has been no recent bleeding. Do rest as much as you can.
Reastie That sounds very annoying. Ignorance about this condition is still massively widespread. Advocadoo That is also hIghly annoying. Sympathies to both.
beforeihit30 I am so glad you are feeling moderately better. Great advice.
I hope everyone is coping today.

Ah, and Advocadoo Best of luck for tomrrow. Congratulations on surviving your first day back at work.

Hi all, hope the weekend is giving everyone a bit of a chance to rest-up.

It's been quite a while since I've posted here, my DS is now 4.5 years old. Has anyone else struggled with guilt or embarrassment about not wanting to go through an HG pregnancy again? I found hyperemesis traumatising and very isolating, and I truly could not go through it again. DS is very sensitive and DH is now even busier at work and the first pregnancy was very, very hard on him. We have no family support and couldn't afford a nanny or housekeeper. Even close friends who know how hard I found it occasionally ask whether I've changed my mind. I feel like I've cried the tears already for the second child I've never had and am now in a place that I'm very happy with the family I have but I feel embarrassed explaining to people why I couldn't be pregnant again. I feel like I come across as selfish for not wanting to do it again, and I don't think people understand how ill you can get. Sorry that was a ramble but any thoughts would be appreciated.

Yes eallison those are the ones! Can’t pronounce them for the life of me.

Hi harriet I think it’s very natural, and can occur even when a woman doesn’t have hyperemesis, but is especially understandable for HG sufferers. My first two pregnancies were not affected by hyperemesis, they were fine and I’m glad I have my children and recognise I’ve been very fortunate, but I didn’t enjoy pregnancy and the long road to fully recovering after - the obvious postpartum recovery, plus rebuilding core strength, strengthening the pelvic floor, losing weight, hormones rebalancing and so on. I say it gives you a good 18 months minimum of your body not being quite normal (9mo pregnant, 9mo post partum to really try and get back to normal), but some elements take much longer (especially weight loss in my case!). It’s such a huge endeavour, plus of course you’re having a baby and all of the energy that having and raising a child requires! I know many people who stopped at one for that alone. However with HG it makes that so much more intense, you really suffer, and it can have such an impact on your wellbeing, your finances, your relationships. I think it’s completely normal to not want to do that again. I also think the guilt is common, but of course unnecessary. For some reason many of us feel the need to justify our choices, in reality it’s of no concern to anyone else. I spent quite a while unsure if I’d have more children, and at times adamant I wouldn’t, people would ask if was I having more and if I felt inclined to respond, I would say, “Not sure, I’ve got a lovely family as it is and a lot on my plate” or something to that effect. I mainly cut the discussion short but I have felt that odd guilt, thinking, “Is it selfish/wrong not to have more mainly because of the impact on me/my body during and immediately after pregnancy?”, but really it’s as good a reason as any. It’s on my mind now, after finally reaching a point where I felt ready to face pregnancy for a third time and this time I have HG! I’m in good spirits at the moment (well, usually!) and it’s not like we set out to have four children but I feel nervous, more about, for instance, an accidental pregnancy in future, and wondering how I can be as confident as possible. I’ve started researching sterilisation... but I’m nervous about that going wrong too...

Ramble again from me

Only 1.5 days left and I’m antibiotic free, yay

harrietpn Hello. I emember you. I didn't realise it was that long. I know exactly what you mean, as I didn't go for it a second time either. I do regret that, but my daughter was very gregarious and used to reproach me for not giving her a sibling. I think if she had cousins nearby, it would have been better for her. If you are happy with your decision, don't let outside opinion sway you. It can be so diffiuclt with an LO and an OH working long hours, and with no family nearby. Others will no doubt be on to give you their impressions. I know Reastie said that she didn't want to live with regret. But many don't regret stopping at one.

Sorry, my post was cut off. I wanted to add, that whatever you decide, the best of luck from me. lflowers]

Oh dear. Sorry; made a mess of that. What is the matter with me today?

Hi @harrietpn I'm on number 2 which if I'm being completely honest I'm not sure would've happened if my partner hadn't been so keen. The first time was very tough and after 2 miscarriages this year I tentatively told him that this pregnancy would be the last one I could manage no matter what the outcome (this was by about 10 weeks). It's been extremely hard on everyone this time and to my surprise he agreed about how much we could cope with. Fortunately we've done the most intense part now and fingers crossed it all works out, but there's no way we'd ever consider any more. I had forgotten just how terrible it is and I was at the milder end with better meds this time so I think you're right to follow your gut feeling x
Well done for your first day back @avacadooo 😀 take it easy this weekend! It's been 3 weeks for me and every day is a 7:30 pm bedtime!
Today I went for a walk with my friends and DD then out for a pub lunch. Had the first proper meal in 3 months but then felt awful by 5:30 and was asleep by 7, it was like having a stomach migraine but it was worth it for a few hours of being normal! I'm awake now feeling green so off to get some nesquik 😀😀😀 night all xx

@harrietpn if it helps I feel intense sadness for the fact I'll never have another kid after this to the point yesterday when I found out what it was and totally ruined my whole pregnancy (hormones are a bastard) it was more I'll never have a sibling for it.
Proper took a nose dive mh wise with it as it was a massive anti climax.

@norbert23 I had my five guys it was awesome and today survived five hours at my best friends wedding (drove and rooted myself to a seat) now to survive mil dinner tomorrow.

Hope everyone's having a not too bad weekend!

Well done @avacadooo that's one busy weekend! I'm so sorry that you're feeling so low after your scan, HG has so many cruel layers to it and none of them are fair. I hope your MIL's dinner is lovely tomorrow and that you can relax xx

Thank you everyone for lovely and supportive replies, I found this thread such a crutch the first time round. I was so overwhelmed with the sickness element of HG that it wasn't until about a year after that I realised the MH aspects (isolation, only my DH understanding what we went through, anger about lack of support and indifference from some medical professionals).

@beforeIhit30 I'm going to use your exact wording for deflecting questions. I'm a SAHM so people may be a little at the idea I'm busy, but hey ho.

@avacadooo I'm sorry you are at a low point. HG is overwhelming. The no sibling aspect was very hard for me to deal with. I spent lots of days crying at the unfairness of the situation. So pleased you managed your Five Guys, with HG you've always got to go for the small victories!

@LucindaE This forum was a lifesaver first time around, thank you again. I feel settled in my decision not to go through it again and it's nice to be back here to get a little more support from you ladies. I think most people think of HG as a 'bit of morning sickness' when in fact on the worst days I had aversions to everything and was throwing up water.

@harrietpn you’be already had some great advice. For what it’s worth, we went back and forth about no2 because of hg. And now, 10 weeks in, I wander every day if we made the right call. My poor ds js struggling with me out of action & my poor dh is exhausted at picking up all the housework / parenting on top of full time work.

I’m really rough today. TMI but I had the runs all night. Ds seems to have shared a dodgy tummy with me. I’m struggling to keep anything down. O’ve Either puked the cyclezine or its not working.
At what point do you know you should go to hospital?
Last time I was barely functioning & my skin was peeling! I’m no where near as bad now, but I’m wondering if I’ll need fluids if this goes on much longer.

@cattaxi thanks for your message. On top of HG a bad tummy sounds brutal. I'm sure much more knowledgeable people will be along any minute but I always went into A&E at the point I was no longer able to keep liquid down for more than 24 hours. I guess a good test might be, would you take your child in? For some reason it's easier to take better care of others than it is yourself (this feels like it should be the HG motto!). Don't feel bad if you need to go in. A&E were always kind to me, once I wasn't bad enough to admit but they put me on one bag of iv fluids to help.

Thanks @harrietpn - i’ve Not managed to keep any food down, but have kept some water, so hopefully things are on the up. Might persuade dh to pop to the shop for some fruit pastels in a bit. They always go down well!

chj don't worry about your scans. This baby got put back an entire week. Sometimes the dates just never make sense. (Although midwife gave me EDD of 29 Aug originally then scans said 8 Sept so quite a difference.)

Does anyone else have crippling tiredness? I don't know whether it's because of the pregnancy or because I keep waking up during the night with DS (who has slept through the last 2 nights now) but I'm just so tired all the time.

cattaxi Sorry you feel so bad. That sounds awful.
Harriet I am so glad this thread helped you through your dark days.
You are so right in your advice about how it is sensible to go and get fluids after twenty-four hours.
DeadDoorPost Good advice too.

I'd forgotten how much the indigestion ramps up in 3rd trimester... bleurgh.

Still no bleeding, tho I think I have thrush again so I wanna be that treated asap. Trying to decide whether I just go buy what I need tomorrow, or try and get an apt with a doctor to get a prescription.

Thanks @LucindaE. I’be Beenivh better today. Kept most fluids down 🙂

@eallison88 oh god, I remember the 3rd trimester indegestion. Horrible! Are you able to stomach something like gaviscon? I hate the stuff, but found it very helpful.
Great news that you haven’t had any more bleeds. I also had a lot of thrush last time. Keep waiting for it to reappear. Who said pregnancy wasn’t glamorous?!

Hope everyone else is ok. It really felt like spring here today, and that’s cheered me right up.