So I've heard labour is 'gross'...but just how horrible is it?

[alasia]

Hi everyone, I'm a first timer at this pregnancy thing, so please humour me .

I was just reading through the replies on the 'solo labour' thread and noticed a couple of people saying labour is a bit gross, not a spectator sport etc. And it got me wondering just HOW 'gross' it is?

I'm kind of worried that the bed, or wherever I am at the time, will look a bit like someone's just been slaughtered on it; lots of blood everywhere and that kind of thing - also get vague memories of my school birthing videos where there was lots of umm...'gas passing' and even poo at times!

I've got quite a bad phobia of blood; I've just about got my head around having to have blood tests done but even that gets me sometimes (I regularly used to get really dizzy after blood tests, now if I really concentrate on something else while I'm having my bloods done, I can just about handle it).
It's such a silly phobia, but I even have trouble eating things like tomato ketchup and jam sometimes - because it's red!

I'm really worried that if there's a lot of blood it will really freak me out - and obviously that's the last thing I'll need in labour!

Do they hand the baby to you covered in blood/gooey stuff too, or would they clean him/her first?

Oh - and should I mention this to my MW or just wait until the day when I'm in the labour ward...people tend not to understand about the phobia thing; whenever I mention I have a blood phobia, I get the same reply every time - "it won't hurt!".

That's really not what I'm worried about! hehe.

PS - it's not squeamishness; I know there aren't many people that 'like' the sight of blood, but I completely freak; I get dizzy tyo the point of almost fainting, I've had panic attacks before and I just feel like I need to get as far away as possible from the blood - not an easy task when it would be coming out of me!

I've had 3 and never saw any blood (bar the post birth bleeding which my mind writes off as a period so OK!)
I've never seen any evidence of having pooed and therefore I didn't.

You don't really see much. Would mention it to the midwives though.

not sure i should comment lol may freek you out slightly[zips mouth shut]

Well I'll second that it is unlikely that you will see much of it but it will be there.
And I'll second Soupy re the pooing, my mum said I didn't (she was there) therefore I didn't........................

i had meconium in waters so that was fairly horrid looking - but you really don't care!

I didn't notice any blood as such. The midwives clean it all up as they go along. I am sure they would clean up your baby a bit before they hand it over if you ask them. They like to do instant skin to skin contact and plop them on your naked torso all sticky and gooey as it is best for the baby. If you can't bear that then you had better let them know.

Have given birth to 2 and never saw any blood. They clean your baby before they hand him/her to you.

I think you should mention it to your midwife, or get your partner/hubby to do it, stressing that this is not something to be ignored.

Sorry for asking, but how do you handle your period then?

the midwives are very quick at cleaning. i dont remember any mess!

I'm with you on the feeling dizzy at blood tests alasia - I have to look the other way and talk a lot! But I have had 3 babies and not been bothered by any blood - even though ds2 was an unplanned home birth so no midwife to clean up as I went along!
You will be concentrating so much on the baby that the rest of it won't even enter your mind.

You won't notice. My friend's DH told her that after she had given birth the midwives took away a bucket of blood, she was having a minor PPH and she never knew a thing about it until they prescribed iron tablets.

you'll be kind of engrossed in what youre doing, i would think. you may find, as i did, that anything outsie your own body and the immediate and rather pressing matter of giving birth ceases to exist for a bit.

you should def tell the mw's durig or immeditely after labour (ifnot before) because, they will clear everything away before you notice it much, straght after. but the post partum bleeding may be a challenge for you if you are genuinely phobic.
nothing a little planning shouldnt help you cope with!

good luck

it will seem fine at the time - just part of the process.

Alasia, how are you at dealing with your periods? The lochia is the only blood you need see or deal with. Anything during labour can and will be dealt with by someone else, especially if you discuss it with your midwives and birth partner.

As to what goes on during labour, well you will very likely not be aware of it and not care about it in any case, as you'll be so in your own head getting on with the labour. I had my eyes shut for most of the pushing with all three babies, as that was what felt right for me and helped me keep focussed.

And afterwards? Believe me, you won't care! You'll only have eyes for your own little miracle in your arms . Meanwhile others will be clearing up around you.

Well, because of various problems I ended up with a highly medicalised birth lying on my back stuffed full of tubes and wires including an epidural, and couldn't move much, so I saw nothing of the gross end. I was vagely aware of mopping up and whisking away going on, but like Soupdragon I didn't see a poo and so I'm not going to think about it. I'm sure you can put this on your birth plan and discuss it with the midwives and explain that you want to avoid seeing grossnesss! IME they want you to be as comfortable and happy as possible, so I think they'll understand.

I agree with the others you won't notice but your dh/dp will! With my first there was apparent;ly lots and lots of blood on the floor dp was sh*tting himself . he told me this afterwards!

To the person that asked; I have problems with my period too. I just have to kind of pretend it's not happening - it's hard to explain but I can block it out to a certain extent; have an out of body kind of thing so I'm hoping this will happen in labour too.

Problem is, sometimes I'll lapse out of the 'out of body' thing and go completely the opposite way, where I REALLY start to focus on the blood - then I get really freaked out (only way to describe it!).

Now I have another issue from reading the replies -lol - "sticky baby on naked torso"...do you have to be unclothed?! That's another thing I might have to put in my birth plan if possible - must wear clothes at all times!

I'm sounding really silly aren't I...well it's mainly that my 'birth partner' could possibly be my ex, and I really don't want him seeing me without clothes - he's have to stay behind knee level as it is; don't want him 'down there' getting a full frontal view!

Well I can only comment as someone whose labour only lasted max 3 hours so I guess I got off lightly!

I am the most squeamish person in the world, avoided the birth video at school, never discussed it with friends etc. etc. but honestly you will have too much else on your mind to worry about a bit of blood. I have heard poo stories so made sure I was "regular" before hand so that if it did happen it wasnt going to be too dramatic - nothing did as far as I am aware and im sure DH would have mentioned it

I am a really shy private person and the male anethetist stood at the action end when I was mid contraction and when it ended it just when "oh hello"

DH was with me and was great but I probably wouldnt have had anyone else with me - I do know some husbands struggle with it though. I would have someone with you if possible though as tbh the midwives do a great job but they are overworked so you need someone to kick up if they feel things are not going the way you want.

I wanted my baby cleaned and wrapped before being given to me the one and the other was given to me naked and gooey and tbh it just felt "right" if I were having another one thats the way I would do it again.

well, ledodgy that's what would worry me...my dh! I'm not pregnant but I think when/if we have children my dh will totally freak out if he's present at the birth! He's about as bad as the OP about blood! Just the smell of hospitals makes him woozy and he's been known to faint at the sight of blood. How do squeamish partners cope? Does it put them off sex forever once they've seen the carnage down there? What happens if they pass out in the delivery room?

I meant to say I just went "oh hello"

No reason why you have to take your clothes off, I didnt but some people want to I guess.

Every time I cuddle my DC who was given to me unwrapped it takes me back to the first time I held him.

Hi- I think that was me that said it was gross on the solo-labour thread... I didnt actually think it was gross- tis just the words of my rather pathetic DP!

i should imagine that the 'down there full frontal view' is not something he would enjoy on any previouslyt experienced level. in fact, if you want to freak him out, it may be a great way to to it! lol.

i had water births. so was on my knees at crucial bit, holding onto sides and pushing down. no-one was at the 'messy end' to see it.
might be an option for oyu? (again, no blood to speak of at the time, and any other stuff, like crap for eg, was wisked away before i could see it)

i do say agin, you do need to plan for the (totally painless but somewhat voluminous) post partum bleeding... esp if the baby manages to get a good latch and feed nicely...

I didn't mean that you are bare alasia, just that for skin to skin contact you need to get some skin out. Both mine were born and lay on my tummy while the cord was cut and then they were put on my breast. I was wearing a maternity nightie the whole time. (It might be a good idea to pack a few so that you can get changed if you get messy)

I had a lovely poo free homebirth, no blood fountains or anything. I'm quite fascinated by ming these days, baby bogies, poo etc.

luchinka - you know, its not essential that they are there. if you feel they may be more work than help to you (and lets face it, it ought to be All About You in the labour room, no??)... you can always ask him to wait outside and have another birth partner.

if hes as useless in a blood, pain and disinfectant situation as you say, he'd prob be relieved!

Ok I'm making a mental note for on-my-knees delivery, ex if he's around to be at the head end (my head, not baby's!) and as covered up as possible to be in my brith plan - I wasn't even going to write one! Hehe.

And I need to psych myself up for the post partum bleeding, obviously. I'm taking it's worse than the heaviest days of youor period?

Ok what colour is the post partum blood - sorry for tmi, but it makes a difference to me; for some reason, brownish blood (like the first or last few days of your period) I can handle better than bright red blood...you're all going to tell me it's bright red now, aren't you!