So I've heard labour is 'gross'...but just how horrible is it?

[alasia]

Hi everyone, I'm a first timer at this pregnancy thing, so please humour me .

I was just reading through the replies on the 'solo labour' thread and noticed a couple of people saying labour is a bit gross, not a spectator sport etc. And it got me wondering just HOW 'gross' it is?

I'm kind of worried that the bed, or wherever I am at the time, will look a bit like someone's just been slaughtered on it; lots of blood everywhere and that kind of thing - also get vague memories of my school birthing videos where there was lots of umm...'gas passing' and even poo at times!

I've got quite a bad phobia of blood; I've just about got my head around having to have blood tests done but even that gets me sometimes (I regularly used to get really dizzy after blood tests, now if I really concentrate on something else while I'm having my bloods done, I can just about handle it).
It's such a silly phobia, but I even have trouble eating things like tomato ketchup and jam sometimes - because it's red!

I'm really worried that if there's a lot of blood it will really freak me out - and obviously that's the last thing I'll need in labour!

Do they hand the baby to you covered in blood/gooey stuff too, or would they clean him/her first?

Oh - and should I mention this to my MW or just wait until the day when I'm in the labour ward...people tend not to understand about the phobia thing; whenever I mention I have a blood phobia, I get the same reply every time - "it won't hurt!".

That's really not what I'm worried about! hehe.

PS - it's not squeamishness; I know there aren't many people that 'like' the sight of blood, but I completely freak; I get dizzy tyo the point of almost fainting, I've had panic attacks before and I just feel like I need to get as far away as possible from the blood - not an easy task when it would be coming out of me!

oh and no poos here either.

labour tends to clear that bit of me out!!!

TBH, I don't think you notice it when you're in labour. They cleaned ds up before they gave him to dh - in fact, I had to ask dh the other day if ds had vernix on him when he was born! He had a little smear of blood on his head, but I'm sure if you explain that you are phobic, they'll clean the baby up very well before handing him to you.

I did see some blood, but I think as others have said that the m/w are very good at whisking everything away before you see it. I only saw it because the stitches took so long and they then moved me up the bed before clearing that bit away.

I only pee-ed once I think (in the toilet!) during labour and have no recollection of having any bowel movements. As far as I am aware, I don't think I passed anything because I didn't want anything to eat or drink during labour and it was reasonably short - 8 hours.

I didn't think it was gross, but it was quite debilitating in a way as you are COMPLETELY helpless with half a dozen strangers looking at your bits. I very much doubt that anyone has a shred of dignity left by the end of their first labour. Second time around might be better as your expectations are probably more realistic...

now, i may have filtered a bit by now, its been known before, but i dont remember feeling id compromised my dignity in first birth.
is one of the top reasons i am so attached to water birth! I was in control, I decided where i wanted to be, in what position, who could see what, when to push, when not to...
appreciate its not for everyone, but personally, the idea of being stuck on a bed during labour ... ... i dont know how or if i could cope with it. me. personally.

there is not as much blood as you think, and a lot of it is diluted with fluid, and you absolutely will not see it, and a lot of women close their eyes when in labour, you can ask for baby to be wrapped up, and or cleaned before brought to you , and you will be so entracned you won;t see any mess!

Not gross just a bit messy, TBH I had my eyes closed most of the time. Babies weren't gross when handed to me just a bit of blood on their heads. Afterwards it is a bit of a nightmare for the first few days with the lochia but TBH you will be so utterly in love with your baby and so amazed that you have given birth to him/her that you won't even bother that much.

DP is excited about DB3's birth as he gets to see the whole thing again he says it is the most amazing thing he has ever seen a baby coming out of me. Brings tears to his eyes. This is a man who cannot even watch Casualty in case there's gore! I pooed both times second time DP told me he cleaned it up, hasn't put him of me or sex I can assure you.

Fair point, TM. I was hoping for a home birth, but wound up with ds being induced and they then gave me an epidural to slow the labour down so ended up being immobile. I am sure that if you have a birth with minimum, if any, intervention, it is much better than this.

The whole thing is so fucking horrendous - you wont even notice the grossness, believe me when the contractions start you wont even worry about the blood you'll be too consumed with dealing with what your going through.
3 things to remember - it is just one day out of your entire life, the pain stops when your baby is born (1st birth only!) and it is all worth it
Of course this only applies if you don't have pain relief (like me wtf was I thinking!) and with pain relief and your baby not getting stuck (like mine!) then it's a whole different story and apparently can be a wonderful experience.
Also don't expect your baby to look beautiful at first - they all look weird when newborn (how I wish someone had told me that!)

I would definitely mention blood phobia to midwife as hopefully she will be able to reassure you. There is lots of blood at the end - apparently - when they were cleaning it up I was in 'me and my new baby cocoon mode' and wouldn't have noticed if a circus had entered the room. Usually during labour itself you are so busy concentrating on what is happening to your body that you don't notice what is going on around you.

Babies are usually covered in vernix, but it isn't like the Benetton new born baby ads - I can't remember either child being that 'bloody' except a few little bits in their hair.

I was trying to put it nicer than that frapichino the pain was so bad I was utterly spaced out like an out of body experience, I knew I was in the room but couldn't have cared less if everyone in the town was there too. The pain does go the minute the baby comes out and it is utterly wonderful after that, you won't notice any yuckiness. Be prepared for umm clots of blood as well no one told me about that!

My advice is to take painkillers after the birth for a few days too.

Just remember - 1) It will be painful and kind of embarassing but you'll be far too busy to care too much.
2) It's going to happen so you may as well go with the flow.
3) If it was that bad no-one would ever have more than one!

I lost a lot of blood during labour but strangely didn't actually catch site of any of it!! That pleasure was reserved for DH
just keep looking at the ceiling you'll be fine

Re your phobia, write it in your birth plan.

I have a massive needles phobia so I put it in my plan. I also wanted as little medical equipment in the room as possible.

But as someone else mentioned, when your baby finally comes out you wont notice any of it.
You'll be so wrapped up starring at your bundle of joy to notice anything

My dp had my blood on his shoes. He was wierdly proud of this and kept telling people about it "See that? You know what that is? He's still go t the shoes - and still points out the stain occasionally and dd is 11!

you don't need to see any blood yourself

try not to worry about it all - lots of folk have very positive experiences and find it all quite wonderful. No point listening to the negative stories once alrealy up the duff imo

I would chat to the midwife about it and maybe if/ when u are at anti natel classes you could chat about it too.
fears are horrible but like others have said u will have so much going on you wont have chance to think about it, the gas and air makes u a bit giggly and carefree, other drugs do the same, make u feel very drunk type feeling so hopsfully your phobia wont have chance to creap up on you. make sure its in the birth plan , but generally babies dont come out covered in blood they have little dried bits on them, but get wiped off when get weighed, the blood is usually underneath the sheet so they cover u over, they did with me anyway they take off the bottom sheet then u go for a bath( thats after your tea and toast of course!! )

my midewife asked me if i had any phobias and put my phobia of needles in my pregnancy record - i think the nurse that took my blood could tell though when i was hiding my head in the sick bowl

it seemed the sensible thing to do at the time

Firstly, I completely agree with everyone who has said that you won't see any blood or poo during the labour - partly because you probably won't be able to see over the bumpand secondly because you will be entirely focussed on the contractions.

But I can almost guarantee that whatever concerns you now will seem insignificant during labour. Please don't think that I'm dismissing your fears or phobias, because I'm not, but it's a strange thing that happens in labour. The world vanishes and it's just you and the baby, and the process of giving birth. It's amazing. A friend of mine was very very worried about being naked, and having even her midwife see her "so undignified". She wouldn't even let her husband in. But when it came to it, not only was her husband there, a load of student doctors came in to watch and she siad afterwards "They could have asked me if a BBC film crew could come in to broadcast the delivery on live TV and I would not have cared"!!

And lastly, please consider holding your newborn naked. My hospital is very very keen on'skin on skin' contact immediately after birth and I tell you, holding my two hot little babies to my chest, feeling their brand new skin on mine and their breath on my neck is the most precious memory I have, and the one I will carry most dearly for the rest of my days.

You will be fine. It's about one day of discomfort for the biggest pay off in the world!!

Oops - I've scared her off completely...

I've seen lots of births (in medical school, and as an anasthetiologist), and I remember being shocked at my first birth.

Lots of poo (discreetely cleaned up by nurse along the way). Lots of liquid, including blood). In fact, there was more blood/liquid lost at the vaginal birth I first witnessed than a partial liver lobectomy I had observed.

That being said, you, at the top end, will not see any of this due to 1) being otherwise occupied trying to push and 2) all the endorphins running around your body during the birth process. In fact, by the time you realize what is going on, everything would have been cleaned up and the messy bits would have been taken away.

I DO advise to tell DH to stay at the top of the bed, although seeing a baby's head emerge from its mother is one of the most magical sights ever.

I'd agree with other posters that it would be a good idea to write in your birth plan that you want the bub to be washed before s/he's handed over to you. I didn't see anything at all from where I was sitting/squatting, but DH (even at the head end) said he found it a bit gross. They put a towel over your tum if you'd rather not look at anything (I didn't request it, but they kept plonking a towel on my bump and monitor). Ask the MW to avoid comments of the "Ah, you've got a lot of X coming out" variety - Need to know basis. Also (FWIW, if you're concerned at all) I didn't smell anything dodgy at any stage, and I'm pretty senstive to that side of things - must have been the hormones.

Thanks everyone...noticed someone mentioned clots earlier - do you always get those, because I've had teeny little 'blobs' of blood coming out with my period before and almost fainted/puked my guts up at the sight of them. For some reason, clots or jelly-like blood really get to me. Same goes for if I blow my nose and a bit of blood comes out mixed in with it...ok I'm grossing myself out now!

I did manage to handle my younger brother years ago, when I was babysitting him and he fell on the radiator and split his head slightly. I conposed myself enough to keep calm and get him to hospital - even check the wound (quickly!) and hold a towel over the blood, so I'm sure I'd be fine during laboour, once the pain/endorphines or whatever start flowing.

I just want to prepare myself just in case...

Satine - thanks, I will have some sort of skin to skin contact with the baby, don't mind my chest being uncovered enough for the baby to lie there; it's just complete nudity or anyone seeing my 'bits' (apart from the obvious and necessary one!) that scares me

Alasia please don't worry Trust us all when we say by the time labour comes around you'll be far too busy concentrating on contractions/pushing to give a toss about who's seeing your bits! This was something I was freaking out about before I had my dd 6 weeks ago, and I can honestly say that when the time came, I couldn't have cared less! Although with me it was mostly just me, my mum, and the m/w in the room, there were doctors coming in and out all the time. I was examined and given lots of internals which I didn't particularly like looking back but at the time I was slightly....preoccupied?!

I won't sugar coat it for you and say it's not messy because it is, but the m/w's are excellent at clearing everything away so that you don't notice, and in general they are all discreet too. For me it really was a case of leaving my dignity at the door, and picking it back up on the way out. Please try not to worry about these things too much, speak to your m/w about any issues you have and if you think it may help, do a birthplan outlining that you would like your baby cleaned up first etc.

Good luck

As others have said you will be too pre-occupied to worry about any mess etc you make. The midwives are very discreet and tidy away any mess you may make, and just remember it is their job, they see it every day, so they are hardly going to be put off by it. You will be too caught up in coping with yoru contractions to worry about who sees what, and what mess there is, and once the baby has arrived you just won't care.
When I gave birth to my son, nearly 2 years ago I know a little bit of poo came out, but what can you do about it, I actually didn't care as I just wanted to push my baby out. The midwife just discreetly picked it up in some paper towel and threw it away. I am pregnant again now and due in September, and I have to say I am honestly not bothered about the labour.

Haven't read the whole thread, so apologies if I am repeating this.

Firstly, I found that I was too preoccupied with dealing with the pain and trying to push to really look at what was happening - and BELIEVE me the midwives have seen it ALL before!!

Secondly, once DS was born I was struck by how clean everything was - the midwives whisked away any post-birth detritus before I had a chance to see it.

Thirdly, by the time the birth is over you are completely fixated on 2 things - your baby and getting some sleep.

Lastly, the most blood you are likely to encounter may be after your lo is born and you bleed (like a period) for a few days/weeks after the birth. Because you are a woman you are probably already used to that.

If you are really squeamish you may want to be explicit in your birth plan that you don't want to see the afterbirth. (my midwife held mine up and (some MNers are bound to disagree with me here) but it was a bit gross to look at IMO. Hope that helps a bit.