Convince me that baby boys are the best! :)

[hipstercat]

No certainty yet, but at my scan at 13 weeks the sonographer was pretty confident I'm having a boy. After years of trying, I'm over the moon to have a baby at all, and a healthy one at that, but I can't deny that I was hoping a little bit for a girl. Would anyone like to help me get over my (minor!) disappointment and convince me that being a mum to a boy is awesome?

Boys are not the best. Neither are girls. They are all individuals and have their own personalities. People will flock to tell you that boys are all cuddly and affectionate and love their Mums best and they're straightforward and funny and good sleepers.

My son slept very poorly, is quite a prickly character and prone to anxiety. He is a complicated chap. My daughter is the most straightforward and easy going person, wears only boys clothes, shaves her head and is a breeze. I love them both equally.

You will love your baby for them, not the promise that they're "the best".

Yesterday my ds 4 found his 'holiday wallet' and it had 10 p in. While I was at work he asked dh to take him to the shop, without asking for anything for himself he bought me a Refresher chew as he knows I love them!! Canny or what?

I have a 6 year old boy and 2 girls (1 and 4). Give me another boy anytime! Don't get me wrong, I love my girls just the same but for me, boys are so much easier to deal with. He has been a dream since he was born. If I'd had either of the girls first, they'd definitely be an only child! 🤣

The thing is, babies don't have a gender. They really don't. They're just babies. All equally beautiful, vulnerable, loving and amazing. Your baby will have no concept that he is a boy. He will just know that you are his mum and that he loves you and you are the best person in the world.

But, yeah, couple of wet wipes over the willy when you change his nappy otherwise he will piss in your face. Even though he loves you.

I have twins, one of each.

My DS fills me with every bit as much joy as my DD. They are both really fantastic.

As for this:

just be able to give advice from my own experience. I worry that I won't understand a boy and he won't understand me!

Of course he’ll understand you - you’ll have brought him up! You’ll be his best person, the woman he’ll measure all others against.

I give the same advice to my DS as my DD. As does my DH. They have the benefit of learning from both our experiences.

It’s good for boys to understand girls’ perspectives and vice versa.

My relationship with my DS is different than my relationship with my DD but it isn’t less. We are just as close, chat just as much.

And we go clothes shopping together too.

I think our culture isn’t great with boys frankly. We only think of what they shouldn’t be like; we just don’t have a positive concept of what a boy should grow into.

Agreed. Girls do seem to be preferred, I've been party to several RL conversations where mums of girls have expressed their relief at not having boys, and been told I should "try again" after having 2 boys. I don't think I've ever seen a thread on here started by someone disappointed to be having a girl, but there are loads by disappointed mothers of sons. Boys are often seen as loud, destructive and low achieving.

I have two boys and they are fab! Very different personalities, one calm one not so much! They love each other. Both love cuddles.

Btw, Zara do gorgeous boys clothes.

The clothes are super cute and no one will buy you dresses, so you don’t have to figure out putting them in tights!

Also I was at the theatre a few months ago and there was a mum there with two young boys- one about 7. He had his arm round her and was playing with and stroking her hair as she cuddled them both. Op you will love being a mummy to your little boy!

I secretly wanted a boy with my first and I was over the moon I had a son! Boys are awesome! I am a bit of a tomboy myself though lol so that probably helps. I love having a son and he is just the sweetest little boy.
Now pregnant with second and am sick of everyone assuming I automatically want a girl now. I would love to have another boy! If its a girl then of course that will be lovely but theres a lot to be said about raising a son to be a man of the next generation.
Most people I spoke to who have each gender for kids say boys are easier in general.
A colleague told me last week that boys may wreck your house but girls wreck your head lol.

Boys are the best but I’m biased! I would say the same if I had a girl! The sex doesn’t matter, what ever you have you will love him/her just the same. Having a baby is a miracle.

@blondeirishmummy84 aww that’s lovely. I love having a son too. I always knew he was a boy and told dh I wanted a little boy just like him and I got my wish but I would equally have been delighted with a girl. I’m sick of people assuming I’d want a girl next time too. The truth is I couldn’t care if it’s a boy or a girl as long as it’s healthy.

‘Boys are not the best. Neither are girls. They are all individuals and have their own personalities. ’

Well said

I have three boys - like you I secretly wanted a girl the first time, but that ended the minute I held my first born. Yes, they are loud and physical...and yes, they fail to get their pee in the toilet...but they are affectionate and funny and there is never a dull moment.

I can genuinely understand people having a preference on what gender they hope for, but for me, I know people who couldnt/cant have children so I also see them all as little miracles, I agree @cocobana

My best friend has 3 boys and is pregnant with her 4th, she openly admit s she would love a girl but is fully prepared for another boy.

My Grandmother had 8 boys and no girls but she said she wouldnt change a thing and she now has grandaughters which she loves.

Hi Op. I'm pregnant with my 3rd, I have 2 Boys and I am pregnant now with a Girl. I cried when they told me as I so so so wanted another Boy!!! I am coming to terms with having a Girl (Aslong as it's happy and healthy and all that) But my 2 Boys are lovely. Tbh, generally once their handed to you, you really don't care. Good luck and congratulations!!!

If it helps, my DS’s are infinitely better behaved than my DD’s ever have been . My DD’s have always been quite ‘high needs’ whereas DS’s are happy independent little chaps. Better as babies than the girls as well. May just be my experience though of course but I’d have happily had 4 boys .

"A colleague told me last week that boys may wreck your house but girls wreck your head " - this is such sexist claptrap it makes me facepalm not lol.

Babies are all little individual people with their own personalities. Their sex is one aspect to them, not the overriding most important thing.

I was hoping for a girl and got a boy. He is the best. He's just so sweet and lively and amazing. Then second time, I wanted another bout because I couldn't imagine loving a baby who was different to him as much as I loved him. Had DD, and she is ALSO the best! You're going to love your child so so much. And they will not be at all how you imagine them, because you can't imagine it, and they will be them, not a representative of their sex, but a whole amazing, complete, special, maddening, lovely person that you will adore.

I have four boys and can confirm they are amazing! My youngest is so cute and cuddles/kisses me all the time

8 ds's here!! A lot less bother than 2 teen dd's!!

I adore my boy and my girl equally but feel extra protective of my son. As others have touched upon, boys are seen so negatively by society it worries and depresses me. My friend, who is otherwise lovely, told me she would be devastated with a boy. I was holding my brand new son of a few days old at the time and was flabbergasted. When I went back to work someone I barely knew told me boys are the worst, and they were so lucky they had had a girl. There are countless negative threads about boys on MN.

Anyway, my DS is only 3 but he loves pink, sparkles, dresses, jewellery, dancing, singing, princesses. He's an individual with his own likes and dislikes and I absolutely adore him.

Btw you should get the book 'Love You Forever' especially if you have a boy (because the baby in it is a boy). It's super weird but also incredibly emotional! You will cry

Wow, so many replies! Thanks to everyone, I definitely feel so much more excited already about (maybe) having a boy.

I really love the humour and honesty on here! I quote mumsnet posts on a daily basis to my husband, he must think I've joined some kind of cult. I just wanted to say a special thanks to @rightreckoner - that's such a refreshing comment and really reassuring. There is so much pressure on us to feel the 'right' things at the 'right' time, that it's easy to forget that everyone's different, and that's fine!

Part of this pressure I think is the idea that you should be only excited about having a baby, and that there is no place at all for anything else, like a little bit of disappointment because you had dreamed for whatever reason of having the opposite sex. (By the way, @BrieAndOatcakes, that's funny, I think I know more women in RL who wanted a boy and were slightly taken aback when they had a girl. But I do agree about the unfairly negative expectations about boys in society, although they're not the things I worry about.)

I had all but given up hope of conceiving naturally and feel incredibly lucky to have narrowly avoided IVF, but that doesn't mean I don't have any wishes or dreams for my child beyond it being healthy, even though that's obviously by far the most important. That would just be unrealistic. As lots of you have pointed out, having both positive and negative emotions while you go through pregnancy is normal and it doesn't mean you're not excited (I am BEYOND excited!), or that you're not going to love your child unconditionally. I think it's healthy to be honest about these feelings so that you can deal with them, rather than feel guilty in silence. Women do that enough, surely!

Just to reassure the few people that seem maybe a little offended: I don't see the world in gender stereotypes (I'm not one, for starters) and I agree that gender is only a small factor in a child's personality. I will certainly not teach any child of mine that societal expectations based on sex/gender need to determine how they should behave, look, or feel. Whoever my son or daughter decides to be I'll love and support them, and I'm really looking forward to finding out!

It's really just my dream of magically turning into Lorelai Gilmore if only I had a daughter to play my Rory, that I can't seem to shake.

Sorry, that turned into a bit of an essay. I'll shut up now. Internet hug to all of you.

Nah, you don’t want to be Lorelei Gilmore - her daughter is dreadful.

You can do much better than that.