What is the biggest advice you would give to your pre-baby self?

[Marghe87]

In retrospect, would you give yourself any advice with regards to TTC, pregnancy and handling a new born baby and all the other changes in life?

Men are just sperm donors; the rest is up to you.

Before you consider having children - look at your partner. This is the person that you may end up arguing over child access EOW. Think long and hard about your choice of sperm donor.

Don't take any notice of your DM or MIL. They will always think they know best.

Don't trust the MW or doctors. They are not your friends and an epidural is not on the way.

You will love your baby so much, your partner may feel excluded. Watch out for man child syndrome. See above.

Don't believe you can have a family and a career. Almost impossible to do both unless you're rich and you can afford a nanny.

A baby can be the best decision and the worst mistake at the same time.

Do what works for you.

Be that formula feeding, or co-sleeping, or baby in own room from 4months, or bathing baby everyday/night. If it works for you then just go with it.
There's no right or wrong answer. No "one size fits all" method. Ultimately we're all just winging it.

I was utterly convinced that I would breast-feed and refused to consider any alternative with either of my two babies, born 2 years apart. I fed them both, the first for 6 months and the 2nd for 3 months.

I hindsight, I wish I hadn't started breast-feeding either of them as so many of my memories of those first few months is utter exhaustion and anxiety around feeding. Neither would accept a bottle from Dh so all my nights were broken and my mood was rock-bottom.

Sorry, that's not a trendy tip, but I wish I had been less committed to it back then. I think the whole experience would have been better if I could have shared feeding and sleeping with Dh or the Grandparents and not felt 100% responsible for the health and welfare of my babies all the time.