REASSURE ME PLEASE, I'M SCARED!

[lissie]

as most of you know i've had several miscarriages and a ruptured ectopic pregnancy since ds was born, well i'm 4w4d pg again and terrified. every twinge i get sends me into a panic. ive had no low backache but backache just below my shoulderblades. no stomach cramps but my ms has died right down and its reached the point now where im worried about going out in case something happens and im not at home. ive got 36w to go (hopefully) and i cant stay like this!

good luck fingers and toes crossed for you xxxx

dh is being fab and i still see a counsellor weekly

sorry to hear that you are feeling terrified, I wish I could say something that would reassure you, but it is difficult to know what would help, I do not want to give you worthless platitudes, but the morning sickness is not an indication that anything is wrong, and the backache could just be from the ligamements relaxing, I know I have that happening at the moment for me. Please try to relax and distract yourself if possible. Or if you are worried then go to the hospital, with your medical history, they will take is seriously and investigate for you. Although there is not much that they can do except do serial beta hcg blood tests, it might help to be doing something. I hope you continue to get plenty of hugs and support from your dh. Come back and talk more if it would help.

thank you. i know im probably panicking over nothing but...

Lissie, I want nothing more for you and DH, than for this Bean to make it
I think what you are experiencing , is perfectly normal, in the context of the terrible time you have had lately....sadly, there is nothing to be said that will guarantee things will be ok, or make you stop worrying. You have to live your life normally and hope for the best. Easy to say, probably impossible to do. You cannot stay indoors for 8 more weeks, until you hit the 12 week mark, nor can you drive yourself mad with every twinge or lack there of! Don;t know what to say really, except that i wish you and Bean the best ! x

Lissie after everything you have been through I am not surprised you are terrified. I have thought many times next time I'm pregnant that I'm just going to stay at home for 9months so I can be in a nice safe bubble... but 9 months is a long time and you have to try and enjoy the marvels of being pregnant.

Speak to your counsellor and to your midwife. There is support out there that you can have through out your pregnancy. There are trained nurses that can help you emotionally through out your pregnancy emotionally and also your consultant can arrange reassurance scans etc..

I have been told by my consultant that if I make it to 12 weeks without bleeding then the pregnancy should be fine. So try and focus on that 12 weeks as your first goal... Once you get to that point you have got to a major milestone.

I know the worry is awful, but you need to relax and have confidence in the pregnancy and I am sure as the pregnancy progresses your confidence will grow and it will become more enjoyable...I just wish that we could just pop them out in a couple of weeks... why the hell do we have to do 9 months! Bloody typical but worth it in the end.

When is your first scan?

Sending you lots of love xx RAH

rahrah, was thinking about you the other day, and wondering how you are! my 1st scan is in about 2w time. tbh, im pretty sure its not ep, ive had no side pains and got a bfp v early and i know i cant stay inside all the time. im just trying to break the first 12w down into 2w pockets. if i can get past 6w then ive done better than in most of my pgs. if i can get past 8w (the latest mc date) then thats even better. every day counts i suppose

lissie.... you have my thoughts and prayers.

thank you

any more advice?

Hi Lissie

You have had some really great advice from the others, I would only repeat what has been said already. These first weeks are almost unbearable, you want to be dancing for joy yet, it is almost impossible to be relaxed and happy as you have been through so much heartache already.

I had two early miscarriages between ds1 and dd1 and am now 39 weeks with ds2, and I can relate to how scary those first weeks are. I think I just tried to take it a day at a time, although I did analyse every single ache and pain and continuously 'knicker check'!! You just have to try and carry on 'as normal' and take each day as a step closer.

Sorry for waffling on a bit, just wanted to offer some support. Take care. x

I will suggest going out for a walk today, and getting some fresh air and gentle excercise. If you have a forest or beach nearby, somewhere nice to appriciate nature, this might help. I know that when I am feeling unsure of things that just spending time in nature helps. I wish that we could all say for sure everything is ok, but we can't. Even though I have not been through what you have been through, I am having doubts all the time too. I keep thinking "what if this is a missed-miscarriage that I currently have inside me", yet I have no real reason to be thinking that. So I can empathise, as if I am having those thoughts, it must be 100 times worse for you. But all I can say is that everything you have described so far is exactly the same as me, so I have confidence that we are both going to be fine. I hope that just knowing that we are here listening helps a little.

Try, ds allowing, to sit or lie quietly and breathe deeply and try and relax your body. Start with the top of your head and on each out breath relax something, working your way down your body. It feels really nice, and calming.

Am praying for your bean every day. I know the panic you're feeling, except yours is probably magnified. Try to stay calm and like lulu says, carry on as normal. The trouble with finding out so early is it makes the scary part last so much longer.

Lissie I havent been through anything like what you have so can only imagine how awful you must feel.

I can related in a small way as after my miscarriage at christmas and my scare at the beginning of this pregnancy I have been CONVINCED that this one wont make it and that is after "only" one miscarriage.

Im almost 15 weeks now and still Im so anxious.

I am starting to get better but in the early weeks it wasnt a case of IF I would miscarry but WHEN.

Even now I just vividly imagine the worst happening, I have had a normal 12 weeks scan, heard the heartbeat and feeling movements yet I still panic and worry its all about to go wrong.

Im not sure what I did to get through those early days - an early scan for reassurance helped as did reading lots of inspirational pregnancy after miscarriage stories on here and elsewhere on the web.

I literally try and wish weeks away. As soon as I clicked on to a new week (ie 5 weeks pregnant) I would declare myself to be in the 6 the week !! Just so I could feel like I was nudging on.

My symptoms seemed to stop and start too - I was forever squeezing my boobs to check if they were sore and often they werent! I kept not feeling sick and feeling the worse then BAM another bout of nausea arrived.

I got cramps quite badly to the point I was just waiting for the bleeding to start but was obviously just my body accomodating growing baby. Its only the last week or so I have stopped having the menstrual type cramps in my pelvis and back.

I will be praying hard that this one sticks, god knows you and your DH deserve it.

Take it easy, try and take your mind off it whenever you can but when you cant concentrate on reading positive stuff, not doom and gloom.

I wish for these next few weeks to whizz over for you!

Lots of love
Rebecca xxx

Lissie I am so pleased to hear your news and my thoughts are with you. I don't prya often, but have just made a little exception for you and your bean - it is Sunday after all x

lissie, i can only sympathise as i feel exactly the same . I'm 6weeks today and panicking constantly, I need to see GP/MW but have been on hols for 2 weeks so haven't managed it yet- am going to try for early scan and if I can't get one I'm going to pay for a private one if I'm stil pg when I get home. Not much I can say, just that I hope you are OK and as everybody keeps telling me, try to stay positive (I know exactly how hard that is).

Gosh, I hardly ever pray, but I really want lissie to have her little bean

I have only had one miscarriage but that was enough to send me into a wild panic for the first 12 weeks of this pregnancy. Im 29 weeks now and all is fine. At about 5 weeks I had the most horrific backache with some period cramps and had resigned myself to the fact that it was all over but it was fine. That's the trouble, you just don't know. The miscarriage I had happened at 5 weeks but I didn't find out til 12 week scan as it was a missed miscarriage so just goes to show you can't really rely on aches/pains to tell you anything. As for symptoms, they will come and go as you know. It's hard, can't give any advice just my empathy and taking each day as it comes is all you can do. Good luck xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

fck, shit, b*llocks. should've known. ive started spotting.

more hugs, but i've left a post on your other thread.

{{{hugs}}}

spotting has stopped, ditto cramping. maybe it is implantation. its not over yet!!

Oh Lissie, I so feel for you right now. But I have to say my gut instinct is that this one is here to stay for you.... I know there is no way I can know this, but intuition is a funny thing and I really want this one to just be burrowing deeper right now for you. I am waffling, but I just ....

• I had a negative hpt today, am currently getting blood test done at hospital.