hi guys
im new here so apologies if i sound a bit like i dont know what im doing. im after some advice from you lovely people.
situation is:
im 29 years old.
been with my partner 8 years and last year we decided to try for a baby. i came off the pill and we started trying.
it turns out there is alot more to "trying" then we thought and it was stressing us out and starting to take over our lives so we decided in november 2018 that we would stop trying.
mainly because this year, i turn 30, i am a bridesmaid for my best friend this september and i have alot of personal debt i need to clear before having a baby otherwise I will probably need to declare bankrupt to go on maternity leave (not exaggerating). Hubbys wages wont cover all bills plus my personal debts if i go on Mat leave.
So with this in mind, my new years resolution for this year is to clear £12k of debt (out of £20k) in the next 12 months so that when i do fall pregnant, I dont run the risk of losing my home (that we only bought in 2017).
I went through every penny of my earnings and spendings and put together a tough plan and budget to make this happen this year. it will be hard work but it will be worth it when i can happily fall pregnant and not have to have alot of sleepless nights and bailiffs knocking on the door.
We both want a baby, but we both agreed to wait til the end of this year to try again as we will be in a much better position, mainly financially to be able to support a baby and go on maternity leave without getting more into debt.
Anyway, typically, just when I thought I had it all sorted.
I found out last night that im pregnant!!! around 4 weeks.
but im seriously contemplating a termination but not telling hubby.
he will be distraught and wont be able to think rationally about finances, debt or how we will pay the mortgage as he is desperate for a baby.
I want this baby too, and I spent the whole of last night in the spare room in tears because I feel like this is my only option but feel so bad because I know he wants it more than anything.
I want it too, but its not realistic now. at the end of the year yes.
Has anyone ever been in this position?
has anyone gone through a termination and not told OH?
please help me :-(