Supportive partners

[FTMdueapril]

Just wondering how other peoples partners are getting on supporting them through pregnancy really. Are your OH's quite understanding?

Mine doesn't seem to understand that the bigger I get the more difficult things get for me and I feel like I'm just being a pain in the neck. I guess I'm wondering if he's being a bit of an arse or if they just don't get it?

I've got HG, struggling with back problems and for some reason I've started to have anxiety attacks so not necessarily having the most wonderful pregnancy and could do with a bit more support! Not sure if I'm being unreasonable expecting a bit more from him though tbh.

What are some examples of things your OH's have done to help you when you've been struggling? - or what do you wish they'd do?

@Snuggz the c word is his trademark. Between that and bitch I've lost count.

But he never once called me any name prior to being pregnant, how strange is that.

Hm, to be honest I know he would only respond with "f off" but I guess I hope that with time and no contact he'd understand and realise what he's done.

Probably not though, right.

Thank you

Make sure you keep the messages as they'll go a long way to prove that he's abusive.

Honestly, move back home as it won't get better.

Some serious gaslighting today.

He only says the nasty things he says and calls me names because I make him so angry and it's my fault.

The good thing is you can see him for exactly what he is and recognise that he is gaslighting you.

This is not a healthy environment in which to bring a baby. He’s not going to change.

Get out of there OP. How dare he. I am 17 weeks pregnant with my 5th and it annoys me no end how some men either don't get or don't care what women go through during pregnancy. Call woman's aid, he is being emotionally abusive and get yourself away from him. You aren't leaving because your self esteem is low, you are vulnerable just now and you dont want to leave your home. Even if he was to be better when baby arrives you will never forget how he treated you when you needed him the most.

I left my abusive exh when I had four dc aged 5 and under. Life was so much nicer and lighter without him in it. I am now remarried and whilst my DH is far from perfect, he for the most treats me very well and my kids like his own.

Do not waste your life with this 'man'.

As PP said it is good that you can see his behaviour for what it is and aren’t making excuses for him. It sounds like a textbook case of how DV begins. Men like him always seem to be normal and charming until you either marry them or get pregnant and they think you’re tied to them and won’t leave.

You are strong OP and you don’t need him, your life will be better without him. Yes it will probably be hard for a while but you’ll get through it and be stronger for it in the long run.

Strangely my dh was okay my first pregnancy, good my second and is better in my third one (currently pregnant again with our third). I think he is just more aware now how ill pregnancy can make some woman ( I was hospitalised frequently with DS2) and has seen our baby at 7 and 10 week scans so can see how quickly it’s growing and realises this is tiring on my body. Men don’t get it really as they don’t experience it. However he is very hands on with his kids too.

OP’s partner is not a man who doesn’t get it, he’s abusive. Read the whole thread.

Did you get on ok at the weekend OP any update on your situation?

As your posts have progressed I’d agree with the other posters that it definitely sounds like typical DV, starting now that you’re pregnant.
It sounds like this has become your new normal but remember you are worth so much more than this

@FTMdueapril Are you safe and ok? You've not updated in a while and having been where you are in a violent abusive relationship I want to know you're safe x