Pregnant after 2 miscarriages. Constantly worried and need success stories/hand hold

[Butternutbee]

Hi all, I’m really in need of a hand hold and some success stories of women who have successfully had a baby after 2 consecutive miscarriages.

I had my 1st miscarriage in December 2016 then my 2nd in February 2017. Both times I conceived the first month trying but both pregnancies ended in the 6th week. With both I had sore boobs, extreme fatigue and lots of cramping. Then suddeny the sore boobs and fatigue vanished but the cramping got a lot worse until a day or so later I lost the pregnancies. After the 2nd loss we didn’t try again for a while as I wasn’t emotionally ready. We decided to try again this summer and after 6 months of TTC we finally got a BFP last week. For the first day or 2 after BFP my boobs looked huge and felt really sore and I felt absolutely drained. But a week later on and my boobs only feel ever so slightly sore and look/feel smaller and I’m not having any fatigue. I’ve had mild cramping which started a couple of days before I got the BFP and is on and off throughout the day. The cramps are about the same as mild period cramps (I had the same type of mild cramping most days with the first 2 pregnancies).

I know that it’s a 1% chance of having 3 miscarriages in a row, but it was a 2% of having 2 in a row and that happened so I’m really worried. I know that having 2 previous miscarriages puts me at a higher risk of having a 3rd. I also have a short luteal phase, endometriosis and I’m over 30... all factors that apparently raise the risk of miscarriage.

I’m currently 4+2, which I know is really early for symptoms but I’m worried because the symtoms i had last week have all but gone this week.

So my question is this... is there anyone out there who had 2 consecutive miscarriages and went on to have a successful pregnancy, and if so what differences did you feel in the early weeks (if any)? Any replies would mean so much as I’m going out of my mind with worry

Me! And my rainbow baby is 3 years old. I also had another at 40 who is nearly 6 months old.
I know just how hard it is and worrying. Congrats and hope this one sticks.

I took baby aspirin which I think helped with both of mine xx

So sorry for what you've been through. I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant with a healthy wriggly girl after 2 losses. One at 7 weeks in January (natural) and one in June at 14 weeks (mmc baby got to 9-10 wasn't found until '12 week scan) we stopped trying as decided we couldn't go through it again and found out I was pregnant 6th September. Had a extra chrononic hemorrage attached to sac and bright red bleeds with clots at 9, 11 and 14 weeks but she's in there and ok so it can happen xxx

I didn't do anything different if anything prepared for another loss and ate what I wanted and didn't worry as much because I thought it would go wrong, no symptoms at all (same as mmc) so doesn't mean anything. It's impossible and hard but try to relax and just go with it. Take care xx

Thanks for the reply @mrssiba. I’ve had the blood tests for blood disorders which came back fine so drs say that taking aspirin won’t do me any good. Did you have any different symptoms in the early days/weeks?

Hi there, I am so sorry for your losses. I was lucky enough to have my DS in June 2016 after an EP in 2014 and a MMC in 2015. I had two further losses in 2017 and 2018 and am now 25 weeks with DC2. Each pregnancy has been totally different- up to and after the MMC was diagnosed I felt incredibly sick, similar to my pregnancy this time. However DS was a much easier pregnancy. Really there is no rhyme or reason to it. The early weeks are so horrible, especially if you have suffered losses. Cramping around the time of AF is very normal- will your EPU offer you an early scan? I’m afraid I haven’t got any magical solution- counselling, yoga, positive visualisations and trying to keep stress levels low helped me. I really hope your little bean sticks!

Ps on baby aspirin this pregnancy- the RMC said no issues were identified as part of the tests but it wouldn’t hurt and could help. I took it in my last pregnancy too but unfortunately that one didn’t stick.

I had 2 mc and then a successful 3rd pregnancy. It was terrifying and I started bleeding heavily at 11 weeks through to 14 weeks but still went on to have a healthy ds. Congratulations and I hope all goes well for you.

Thank you for your responses. We haven’t told anyone yet (I only found the courage to call my GP this afternoon) so I don’t have anyone to talk to about it. My husband is incredibly supportive, and I know it’s worrying and painful for him too but I don’t think he can ever truly understand the constant niggling fear I’ve got in the back of my mind. It feels like every day drags on and it’s always there in the back of my mind. Every time I go to the loo I expect to see blood and every twinge/cramp makes me feel so worried that I’m going to lose this little bean too. I want so badly to relax and enjoy it but I can’t let myself. The 1st pregnancy we took photos when we found and told our parents... basically allowed ourselves to get excited. The 2nd one we were cautiously optimistic, convinced that the 1st loss was a one off and couldn’t happen to us again. This time around I can’t bring myself to feel any excitement at all, just fear. I feel like it’s only a matter of time before our hearts are ripped out again.

I had a MMC in May and a MC in Sept, currently 13+6 there isn't a day I don't worry. I rang my GP when I was 6w and spoke to reception I said how worried I was of it being a 3rd MC. GP called back within 2 hours and arranged a scan the next day at EPAU - all was good. I was then scanned at 8w3d also. Highly recommended sharing all your concerns with your GP I know some are better than others.

My GP said he will get the midwife to call me next week as they will probably want to give me extra care as I am classes as higher risk. After the second miscarriage the EPU said that I could come for a reassurance scan at 8 weeks if I were to get pregnant again. Right now I’m not even confident I will get that far as I never have before

I’m also sorry for each and every one of your losses. Life can be so unfair. I hope all of your pregnancies continue with success!

Me! Currently sat breastfeeding my 6 week old DD after MCs in July 2017 (10 weeks) and October 2017 (6 weeks). She’s my third baby, I really did think we’d maybe run out of luck having had two and the third wasn’t meant to be, but here she is. Best of luck to you OP

I had two chemicals - one in July '16 at 4+3/4 and the second in March '17 at 4+2. I'm currently 31 weeks with a baby girl via ivf.

I have a 11 month old DS after 2 miscarriages. My whole pregnancy with him I was crippled with anxiety and looking back I wish I would have enjoyed it more.
I remember early on my boobs were so painful and then a couple of days later they felt fine and I also bled slightly really early on, and has cramping and I was just reading into everything that was happening, anyway. It's a completely new pregnancy, take everyday as it comes and hopefully everything will be ok.

I had my DD after two miscarriages in a row and I didn't feel different from the previous times - I was genuinely shocked to see a little blob and a heartbeat at a 7 week scan. Good luck with your pregnancy

No I had very few symptoms with all 4 pregnancies. No morning sickness or tender boobs. I used to wish for these as signs I was pregnant.

Try to relax and enjoy each day. I know just how hard that is in practice. With pregnancy no 3 i knew lb had stuck. I bought nothing until about 20 weeks and even then it was only a 2 pack of bibs which I hid in my cupboard. I thought these would be easy to get rid of if something went wrong. I used to get them out to look at them. Happily she was wearing then in the pic we used to announce her birth.

I've just got really teary thinking of my losses. Big hugs to you all. MC is the big unspoken thing that I have found affects more people than you realise. Heartbreaking Xx

These responses really have brought me comfort and I appreciate all of your responses. I want to enjoy the pregnancy, just in case this little one does stick, but the cramps worry me. As advised I’m going to tackle each day as it comes and hope for the best.

Oh no @MrsSiba I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to bring back painful memories for you. Sending hugs back. You’re right though, miscarriage is such an unspoken thing and these boards offer so much support for so many people. Hugs to all x

During my (so far) successful pregnancy, the cramps between 5-8 weeks used to wake me up in the night. They were so painful. One day at a time.

I had 2 MC’s and then healthy DD (5) then another 2 MC’s and am now 19 weeks pregnant - obviously, nothing is a given yet and we’re not out of the woods but at times I never believed I would get to this stage again.

Me
... Two mc's - one a blighted ovum, one a partial molar pregnancy....then fell pg wth twins. Bled terrifyingly up to about 16 weeks but they were fine and are now strapping 5ft 4 11 year olds.

My story - had DD1, no issues except knowing she had same balanced translocation of chromosomes as her daddy. Was told at time that no baby had been born with unbalanced translocation of the particular chromosomes involved so much higher risk of mc. But DD was perfect I was in a bubble, I didn't do mc I made babies. So 2 mc later I was in bits. My DH gave me a mother & daughter ornament for my birthday in a clumsy attempt to suggest we could be happy as a 3. I threw it across the room. When I became pregnant 2 months later I couldnt eat/sleep. I begged for early scan. It literally is wishing each day away without any problems knowing every day makeschances better. We went on a wee holiday when I was 12 weeks and told DD she'd be a big sister. She was in a tiny toy shop at the end of the holidays to choose a treat for being a good girl and instead bought a present for the baby. I sobbed and the lovely lady behind the counter gave me a cup of tea. When I tried to explain she looked me square in the eye and said "don't say you lost your babies, they're not lost they're in your heart. It's not your fault". This was my mantra. DS was born 6 months later and DD2 2 years after that.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, can totally understand how you’re feeling.
We had ivf (5 rounds) to conceive ds1, has two miscarriages prior to successful conception. He’s 5 now. Then another miscarriage before falling pregnant again with my second.
For us there was no reason why I had the miscarriages, just one of those things.
But I did eventually have two successful and straight forward pregnancies. Dealing with loss is so hard and I truly do feel for you.
Fingers crossed everything will be fine this time around for you. I never stopped worrying or knicker checking the entire duration, totally understandable after loss.
Wishing you well.

Hi OP,
I understand how you are feeling.
This is ancient history but I had a miscarriage at about 11 weeks, then another at 6weeks. Then a period of secondary infertility so had clomid and hormone injections to finally conceive DS1. I had cramps and spotted every day from 5 weeks to 13 weeks. Healthy baby at 39 weeks exactly. Another miscarriage ( more of a chemical pregnancy) then DS2.

I am the queen of white loo paper!! Even though they are in their 20s now.
Good luck.

I have a 15yo dd and a 12yo ds...had no issues in either pregnancy. I got pregnant 2017 (different partner) and had a mmc found out at 12 weeks and my whole world flipped! I'm now 21 weeks and have been so anxious the whole time, when you have experienced it before it's like a black cloud hanging over, as much as you want to enjoy it's so difficult. I'm only just starting to relax now after my 20 week scan and now I'm feeling kicks. Every day that goes by the chances of mc drops, try and hold onto that, this pregnancy I tried to convince myself what will be will be but I think it's so so hard to switch off and go with the flow. Good luck OP I have everything crossed for you

The bottles were supposed to be flowers sorry! Sausage fingers.