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Original poster

20 week scan

35 replies

lifebowlsagain · 29/12/2018 20:32

Hey I don't know if I am worrying over nothing but I wondered if this happened to anyone when they had their 20 week scan.

Me and my partner don't want to know the sex and we told the sonographer this before any checks were made. The lady then commented he has a strong heart beat then she suddenly realised what she said then quickly said or she has a strong heart beat.

I'm now convinced it's a boy and I really wanted it to be a surprised. Did people who didn't find out the sex what did the sonographer refer to the baby as?

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Vika1985 · 29/12/2018 20:34

I think there are a lot worse things that can happen at your 20 week scan and you should get some perspective.

Puggles123 · 29/12/2018 20:35

We wanted to know the sex and the sonographer kept saying during the scan ‘he’ and ‘his’, but is actually a girl! So not sure if they use he as a default and her backtracking was as she got wind that you were upset by hearing this when you said you didn’t want to know. I had to have a rescan and this was the case for both; they’re never 100% sure anyway so hopefully you don’t feel too much like this has ruined it for you.

SuzieAndBess · 29/12/2018 20:36

I already knew what I was having at 20 weeks but before and after most health professionals referred to her as “baby”

lifebowlsagain · 29/12/2018 20:36

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Vika1985 · 29/12/2018 20:38

Just be glad you are having a healthy baby and get a serious grip.

CottonSock · 29/12/2018 20:39

Agree with vika, and you sound a bit rude

lifebowlsagain · 29/12/2018 20:40

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Fantababy · 29/12/2018 20:41

I know at my scan the last thing she checked for was the sex and she also gave a wee disclaimer saying she could be wrong, so it's possible that it was just a slip or a guess.

CocoLoco87 · 29/12/2018 20:50

Was she referring to the baby as 'he' before she'd even checked the nether region on the scan? I'd assume it was a habit of referring to a foetus as he or she instead of 'they'.

I think our sonographer both times just used 'baby' when talking about them. We did ask to find out the sex so she had a good look when she was scanning their kidneys, bowel and bottom.

Lauren83 · 29/12/2018 20:51

Your are being very rude to the PPs who actually have a good point however I will say sonographers often use he by default to as differentiate between mum and baby and mum is obviously she

SinkyMalinks · 29/12/2018 20:56

I’ve seen posts where people get very offended by “it” and it must be a pain to try and say “he or she” each time - I wouldn’t read anything into it. Like pp - mum is she and baby he is the easy distinction to make.

And chill out. Telling posters with a valid point to piss off to their crap life is pretty rude.

calmsealife · 29/12/2018 20:56

I don't think your being rude OP you asked for peoples experiences at their scans not to be judged. All my scans the sonographer referred to my baby as baby until I asked for the sex.

sanityisamyth · 29/12/2018 21:02

It's an anomaly scan, not a sex gender scan.

SuzieAndBess · 29/12/2018 21:07

Wow.

KimchiLaLa · 29/12/2018 21:12

Our sonographer kept saying "he" but they just choose a sex to avoid calling "it". My DD is a girl! Lol.

KimchiLaLa · 29/12/2018 21:14

Ok I've just read your replies to other posters. Can you just be nice please? They are giving you sound advice.

NotTired · 29/12/2018 21:22

I came on here to offer advice but then I read your replies to other posters. Has it ever occurred to you that the people giving advice may be basing it on their own experiences?

ollhe · 29/12/2018 21:23

My sonographer said “he” all the way through my 12 weeks scan. I think it’s an automatic thing- rather than a slip of the tongue.

I think most people naturally slip into to using masculinity terms (compared to feminine) when the sex is unknown.

CottonSock · 29/12/2018 21:25

Even more wow!

Santaissleepingoffmincepies · 29/12/2018 21:25

Some hospitals refer to dm as her and dc as him.
Ime.
Also ime my ds had club feet discovered at 20 weeks.
Gutted.

snoopy18 · 29/12/2018 21:26

Ours referred to baby as baby - we don’t know the sex of the baby Smile

SauvignonBlanche · 29/12/2018 21:28

Your sonographer is a human being and their respnses do not neceassily translate for all other sonograpghers who are also human beings.

Highlowpo · 29/12/2018 21:29

A friend had exactly the same situation- sonographer said 'he' so convinced it was a boy. Her daughter is 15 months old now. They just don't like saying 'it' I imagine.

Vika1985 · 29/12/2018 21:30

OP, you said you 'didn't know if you were worrying over nothing' - my opinion is yes you are.
And thanks, my life is quite shit right now because we found out my daughter had a fatal condition at our 20 week scan and she died shortly after birth. Hence I suggest you get some perspective over worrying about gender pronouns.

Celebelly · 29/12/2018 21:30

It's impossible to say. Could have been a slip of the tongue, could just be the way the sonographer refers to the sex with all babies. You still don't know, so the outcome is the same!

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