DH refusing to have private gender scan

[JingleDells]

Just that really. We can have a private gender scan on 8th February or one with the NHS on the 12th March. It's £45 and as I'm announcing at 16 weeks it would be nice to know the gender and everything first. He is point blank refusing as it's pointless when the NHS tell us for free.. I just don't understand why he's being such an arse about it. I'm paying. We're finding out anyway and he knows it'll help me relax and bond with baby. AIBU?

Babies that have been scanned more have an increased chance of being left-handed. So scanning does have an effect on a babies brain. We don’t currently know the full effect.

Colleration not causation.

Why do you have more scans? Because their are either more concerns about the baby or the mother is more anxious. Or the parents are simply richer.

There are reasons why any of these factors might produce a correlation.

Personally I don't understand why anyone has a scan specifically to find out the sex of the baby. And to say its for bonding purposes boggles my mind. Scans haven't been common for long; I don't think it affected bonding. Any 'disappointment' is just at a different time that's all.

That said, I'd keep scans to a minimum as we really don't know if it's correlation or causation and unless there is a medical need for a scan it's probably not wise.

I know a lot of women feel reassured by a scan but it provoked a huge amount of anxiety for me. And that isn't a good thing either.

Just do it as it is so important to you; I didn't understand at first but when you talked about your years of infertility and wanting to prepare, etc (not that they are much different as babies), I gained more understanding. You don't have to tell your husband. I know the world and his wife will pile on, talking about deception, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

Congratulations on your boy or girl. This is wonderful news .

I'm completely mystified by the obsession to know the sex (not gender) of your baby, obviously setting aside where it is relevant for sex-specific genetic issues.

I'd book one tell your partner the time and date and if he wants to come great if not take a family member or friend. I had an early gender scan with all 3 of mine and I don't regret any of them.

I didn't understand at first but when you talked about your years of infertility and wanting to prepare

Prepare what?The OP is having a baby-they all have the same needs, regardless of sex. When my son was born the quality of scans didn't disclose sex- unless one had additional tests like amniocentesis for medical reasons (which I did) no one knew until baby was born. I didn't ask after my amniocentesis what sex my baby was.

And to iterate it is sex, not gender.