I have the sex of my baby in an envelope and it's driving me crazy!

[rollerskaterdata]

Since finding out I’m pregnant DH and I have been adamant we want to stay team yellow. He still is 100% but as the weeks have passed I’ve been wavering more and more, to the point where last week I booked a private sexing scan during a moment of weakness when I thought I wanted to find out the sex rather than staying team yellow. Since booking it I changed my mind (again!) but went to the scan which was this week anyway so as not to waste money as they don't give refunds. I asked them to find out the sex but not tell me or DH and instead write in on a piece of paper and put it in a sealed envelope (they told us when to look anyway at the appropriate times when they were doing the scan). So now I have an envelope in my house burning a hole in my wardrobe that contains the sex of my unborn child.

There are obviously more important things in life to worry about and I feel so silly, but it's driving me crazy, mainly because I can’t make my mind up either way. Just when I think I’m sure of myself and my decision I change my mind. On the one hand I would LOVE a surprise at birth and on the other hand I need to know NOW. I found out with my DS and was totally happy and sold on my decision which is a stark contrast to how I feel now. This may be our last baby and I don’t want to regret not ever having that experience of finding out at birth...but I'm literally dreaming about opening that envelope every night in my sleep! I’m wondering if anyone else can offer some fresh insight or has ever been in this position? (probably not because you’re all sane!)

Oh and I’m 16 and a bit weeks pregnant so a long way off giving birth!

@rollerskaterdata

Yay do it !

I can’t wait to do the same, how can you top that as a Christmas present [grin

P.s. although I don’t think I’ll sleep a wink on Christmas Eve

it’s making an overly big deal out of the sex of your child when people insist it’s the biggest part of giving birth

See I feel this way about the trend for finding out ASAP and having a big "gender reveal" and all that shizzle (although appreciate most people who find out in advance of birth probably don't do this, but it does seem to be becoming more popular!). Neither is right or wrong though, just personal preference really.

For me personally, finding out the sex at the birth isn't the "biggest" part at all - it is just a lovely piece of the overall experience of meeting this new little person. I know their sex doesn't define them in any way.

But then equally I can totally see why people do want to find out, find it helps them to bond, etc. It's all horses for courses.

OP if not knowing is stopping you from enjoying your pregnancy then I definitely think you should find out beforehand. It's a teeny tiny detail in the grand scheme of things, so don't feel like you need to do anything a certain way. I highly doubt you will regret finding out now, based on what you have posted.

OP, I've given my envelope to MIL to have custody (she is very trustworthy). It's removed the immediate temptation and then we can always decide at Christmas.

Without wishing to hijack the thread with a guessing game, anyone have any ideas in the meantime?

I found out the first time as it was an unplanned pregnancy and the whole thing was a shock!

With my 2nd baby I was obsessed with not finding out....I had 8 growth scans including on my due date so I had to be careful not to look at any screens.

The surprise when I had my DS was really amazing. I highly recommend not finding out.
Having said that I have friends who found out every time they were pregnant and were keen to know.

I personally really regret finding out at the gender scan I would burn the envelope and keep as a surprise . I am on baby three and had two surprises and this time I feel a little deflated that I know already . Lol .

Personally I absolutely loved finding out. DP and I went for the scan together, and had to shut our eyes at various points. Then we had it put in an envelope and went home. In the quiet of our own home, with just the cat for company, I got him to open the envelope and then tell me. It was wonderful and I'm not a party person at all, nor wanted to make a big deal of it so this quiet, private moment felt perfect.

I've found finding out has helped me mentally prepare as this is a pregnancy after a lot of loss and it has helped not referring to baby as 'it'. Obviously it's purely personal preference but I've loved knowing.
Also, if we hadn't found out, we'd know by now. Baby definitely isn't private at all, and we've had numerous growth scans. However, although I've told people in person who I know, I've kept it completely off social media and that's also been nice.

Finding out was still a surprise, but we found out the day of the scan as I could barely wait until we got home. Good luck and I hope you're thrilled with whatever it says in that envelope!