Gender reveal parties

[miccam]

Do you think they should write down the sex of the baby at an NHS ultrasound? Some places will only tell you and not write it on a piece of paper or card for s gender reveal party because it’s a medical test! Should you have to go privately.

Yes you should. Sonographers are paid to check the health of your baby, not faff around with things like that. If you want any extras, pay for them.

Why do you ask? An article?

No they shouldn’t have to.

Gender reveal parties are a crock of shit

I don't love the idea of a gender reveal party but it would only take a couple of seconds to write it on a piece of paper. So... I don't know why they would refuse.

Seriously? You expect NHS staff to get involved in your gender reveal party?

How do you know what gender the baby will identify as, anyway??

They don’t even have to tell you the sex of the baby, let alone write it down. It’s a medical test.

If you're planning a gender reveal I'd pay for a private scan as some NHS trusts won't actually tell you the sex at the 20 week scan. Some hospitals have a policy that they don't tell you.

It’s a medical procedure not a party invite

Some hospitals won’t tell you the sex. You’re there to check if the baby has any health problems, that’s their priority. Finding out the sex is a bonus. If you chose to do so.

It’s a medical appointment, one where plenty of people receive devastating news. It’s not a fucking gender scan, it’s an anomaly scan to make sure baby is healthy.

You want it written in a card, then pay privately.

Oh and just in case. Fuck off piece of shit Daily Mail.

I think gender reveal party’s are tacky 🙄 baby showers too, American and grabby

In order to emphasise the purpose of the NHS fetal anomaly screening process out trust has instructed us not to participate in this. We either tell you at the end of the scan whether it is most likely male or female or we don’t, those are the options. If you want a social scan, you’ll need to go elsewhere and pay for one

Reason I ask..... I'm a Sonographer in an nhs hospital and our policy is verbal only and despite multiple signs, approximately 1/4 of our patients still ask for it to be written down. We've had verbal abuse, tears.... you name it.... I just wanted a general opinion

Well I'm so glad the NHS are not participating in this (American) bullshit.

I don’t understand why they would ask you to write it down? Surely telling them is sufficient?

My sonographer asked if I wanted to know at my anomaly scan and told me when she got to the appropriate part!

They don't even tell you the sex in our NHS area! I had no issues with paying privately - the NHS scan was to check our baby was healthy. Imagine crying because the sonographer won't write down the sex when there will be people getting absolutely terrible news at their scans and learning their babies have severe health problems or have even died. Ridiculous self-absorbed nonsense.

I just read this and cringed at the attitude of some people, I'm having a gender reveal and paying for a private scan but ffs get a grip! If people want to ask for it written down what's the problem, why does it have any relevance to your life what other peoples choices are

It's the element of surprise and everyone wanting to find out together, I don't see the problem

I disapprove of hospitals having a policy of not telling you the sex of the baby if they have identified it. I think you should be told any information relating to your child, it's not for the NHS or anyone else to decide to keep secrets from parents.

I disapprove of gender reveal parties because they are revoltingly cringeworthy.

Oh dear miccam our trust has only just issued this instruction to us in the last couple of weeks so I hope we don’t get the same reaction! I think it was issued partly in response to a project a student did where they asked women before they came in for their scan what they thought the primary purpose of the scan was and about 60% said it was to sex the baby so they wanted to make a very clear divide between a serious screening tool and a ‘bit of fun’

I cannot help but think that the social focus on this being the "gender scan" means that the poor sods that get bad news are even more unprepared than they might have been.

It couldn’t be just a scrap of paper, though. It would have to be a carefully worded statement, checked by lawyers, to the effect that in the opinion of the sonographer your baby is likely to be a boy / girl but that this is not definitive. Then the parents would have to sign a waiver to indicate that they understand that they have been given an opinion only, and that the NHS is not liable if the opinion proves incorrect. All of this would need to be talked through and explained, adding five minutes on to every anomaly scan appointment.

I guarantee that there are some dickheads out there who would attempt to sue the NHS for the ‘emotional distress’ caused by an incorrect assessment.

Fuck off piece of shit Daily Mail.

That was my first thought as well.

OP it's a medical test. The NHS isn't there for aiding parties.

Our hospital gives women a laminated fact sheet in the waiting room bullet pointing numerous times that the anomaly scan is a screening test, and if baby isn't in the right position to find out the sex, then tough titties.

They also had a sign on the door saying something similar.

The fact they felt the need to do this says it all really.

Please read OP’s update. They are a sonographer and they’re already getting abuse in RL for following this guidance.

Surely also writing it down leaves you more open to complaints if you get it wrong. So tempting though to put 50:50 chance boy/girl!. It's the sort of news that really needs to couched in terms of probabilities not absolutes.