Scan dates help please. I'm desperate for some positive stories

[Frazzlerock]

Can someone please help me understand what is going on here?

According to Ovusense (temp tracking device) I ovulated on 6th Oct.

Tested 13 days later and got a strong positive, plus clear blue digi saying 1-2 weeks (3-4, right?)

According to LMP I should be 8 weeks + 3 days today.

Had a scan ten days ago (when I should have been 6+6 weeks) which showed baby measuring 3.6mm so my dates put back by 3 days to 6+3 and no heart beat could be detected. Fine. Baby too tiny and perhaps my egg took it's time to travel.

I have just been scanned again today for reassurance/dating and baby is smaller at 3.1mm but we have a heartbeat.
This sonographer said baby is no more than 6 weeks.

I really don't understand.
I understand that there can be errors in measurements but I should be nearer 8 weeks, not 6!

So that is an error of two whole weeks.

Basically I'd have got a really strong positive at only 13 days pregnant when most women haven't even ovulated by that point.

I've been advised to go to EPU in a week for another scan.

This is our rainbow baby, I cannot lose another 😢

Can anyone tell me this happened to them and it was just a lot of errors with it being before 12 weeks or something?

I need to cling to some hope that we'll meet this little ray of hope. I've waited 2.5 years for this 😢

Don't have much advice. Just offering a handhold I've had 2 losses and it really is the worse thing in the world. A heartbeat shows good progression and measurements can be off as baby is so tiny it can be very difficult to measure and is easy 'Off dates' by the tiniest measurement error. I wish you all the best of luck xxx

I didn't go for any scans until my 12 week scan, but there we discovered the baby size was only 10 weeks. I'm still trying to work out how I 'lost' those two weeks, but as the baby is healthy I'm trying not to hurt my head thinking about it too much. The sonographer said it isn't uncommon to be 2 weeks out, so try not too worry too much. Hopefully your next scan will be more reassuring.

Were they both the same type of scans?

I don't know how accurate ovusense is, it said I ovulated on day 28 but I got a bfp on day 32 and hadn't had sex since day 22, so I wouldn't see that as set in stone

Sending massive hugs. I know this is super scary. And there's no sure way to tell apart from time... but....

I went for a scan and should have been 6+4 and baby was measuring 5+5 but with a little tiny flicker of a HB. They're so tiny at this stage that depending which way they're facing 1mm out changes dates massively. A heartbeat is a great sign. Maybe bub is just being a little cheeky and tossing and turning and making measuring difficult. Also if abdominal they're not as accurate. Transvaginal are much clearer.

I have every thing crossed for you. After going through an mmc I know how hard it is to have slightly off dates just to add scare to the pregnancy. Xx

I have no answers but have read quite a few times it is a really positive sign to see heartbeat.

Hoping for positives results for you

Thank you for your words of encouragement

For those who have asked, both scans were transvaginal.

The first was private - but it was one of those groupon deals. I'm not entirely sure how professional those things are

The second scan was NHS.

Hi OP, looking at the date you got the BFP, 19th October, you could have been at the 1 week stage at that point. That's 4w4d ago, making you 6w4d. At this point, a 4 day measurement is the difference of about half a mm. It's so tiny. I'd be inclined to say the Groupon deal was less accurate.

I've had three scans now. The dates place me at 10w6d whereas my LMP would make me 13w4d. I ovulated late. Going on conception date from scans to when I got my BFP, I was exactly 1 week (3 weeks) and got 1-2 on my CB.

The positive news is you have a heartbeat. Stay positive

Hi frazzlerock, I really feel for you I am in almost the exact same situation! I should also be 8+3 by lmp but they put me back a week and a half at a scan I had a week and a half ago as they could only see a yolk sac... my symptoms are coming and going which is giving me such anxiety as we have had 5 miscarriages, but we do have only healthy happy 3 year old boy, they also put my dates back 9 days with him so I think it's pretty common, my sonographer said at our last scan that they don't look too much into measurements this early as they can easily we wrong as they are just so so tiny. Have you got another scan booked? It's nerve wracking, I'm desperate for my scan on the 28th to show a healthy baby, I'm hoping you get the same too xx

Oh @princessbala it's just so worrying when you've had previous MCs.

I've had two. One was a MMC at about this stage (whatever stage I'm at, I'm totally confused now). Our sweet baby died at just under 9 weeks and all I had to know about it was a very small bleed (supposedly normal, right?).
I'm just terrified we'll get to what I think is 12 weeks and be told baby has gone weeks before. But these constant scans are so upsetting and not at all reassuring. Although I am pleased we saw a flicker of a heartbeat, just not convinced it will last 😢

I just don't know what to do for the best, either way I'm petrified something awful will happen to our precious baby

for you OP, I hope it's all ok for you.xxx

Our very first scan dated baby at 6+4 though LMP would have dated baby at 8+3.
Went to our 12weeks scan at 12+1 (according to previous scan) but sonographer dated baby then at 13+3 and that's the date we have worked off since.

Hope all goes ok for you x

I didn't sleep a wink last night. I tried two lots of my positive pregnancy meditation app (40 mins worth) and still struggled to sleep.

DP is being really harsh with me. Telling me it's like I'm wishing something awful to happen. That because of how I'm feeling he is scared we are not ready for this. Despite me being so painfully desperate since our MMC and MC 2.5 years ago.

HE was really angry at me last night because I didn't once ask him how he felt about seeing the heartbeat of his very first child. That I brought down such a happy time.

He's been so lovely to me, making sure I'm okay and wrapping me up in cotton wool and doing everything, and now he's barely talking to me. He said that me worrying is going to end up causing something awful to happen
I know I am inconsiderate for not asking him about how he felt, but I am so terrified that it didn't occur to me to ask. I haven't deliberately been spiteful.

I hate this so much, I just want things to go smoothly for once.

I've woken up this morning and my bloated tummy is no longer very bloated. I've been wearing a maternity band the past couple of weeks due to bloating but today I can do up my trousers normally.
And my boobs don't hurt whatsoever.

What is going on?

If everything was okay, why am I suddenly feeling much less pregnant?

I am going to try and see the midwife today. She knows about our losses and she said I can call anytime if I am anxious.

I am also going to book this scan with the GP today.

Things we so easy with the DC (from previous marriage), I'd never had a MC before and things just went really smoothly with both of them.

Now I'm on this awful rollercoaster and I can't even talk to DP about my feelings

@Frazzlerock, that made me so sad to read. Your DP is clearly going through a hard time and taking it out on you, too.

Please re-read my post about dating where it would place you only a few days out. The fact you saw a heartbeat is such positive news. If it wasn't developing, the heartbeat wouldn't be there.

I went through a phase a fortnight ago where I'd lost all pregnancy symptoms and paid for a private scan. Everything was absolutely fine. They explained that symptoms just come and go. I have days where my tummy is so bloated and days where it's completely flat. I have days where putting a bra on hurts my breasts and I have days where DP could use them as bongos.

Try not to worry too much xx

Thank you @TokenGinger.
I do wonder how I got such a strong positive at only 1 week pregnant though. I thought at that stage it would be too early to detect pregnancy so a very faint line if nothing but mine were very bold.

I don't know, I keep flitting from thinking it'll all be okay and I'm worrying over nothing, to an absolute sobbing mess.

I've got an appointment with the GP so she can refer me to the EPU in one week. I now worry that will drag and I won't get seen for 2/3 weeks. I wish I could self refer like I could where I used to live.

I'm going to call the midwife now. I think I just need to see someone who I can offload onto without being told off. Someone who knows more about all this than I do.

I really hope you are right about dates. The sonographer also said the same yesterday, that it is very inaccurate at this stage.

You're right in that seeing a heartbeat is a good thing.
Although our little lost one's heart stopped at just under 9 weeks - though we never actually saw a heartbeat with that one.

What a mess. And now things are shit with DP as a result

Big hugs @Frazzlerock.

My best friend has just had her second DC. She measured behind for both pregnancies, and had lots of extra check ups because baby "wasn't growing properly". Both babies were born at a healthy weight, albeit on the smaller side of the healthy range. And no other health problems. She just makes small babies.

It sounds like you're DH is struggling too. He's been keeping it in and looking after you, but was bound to snap eventually. Give him some space to calm down and then talk, and listen. It'll be good for you both.

And maybe think about a councillor to help with this anxiety. It can't hurt. Xx

Thank you @ChaosMoon That makes me feel better

I now have a question abut how the hell do I know what my actual week is?

I have been following several apps which tell you about the daily developments, I had visions of our little baby with little arms and legs etc and the size of an olive right now, but now I have no idea if that is even the stage we are at. I mean, according to when I ovulated I should be at exactly that stage, but now I'm wondering what stage baby is at now.
I know it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but I like information like this and like to imagine our little baby in there and whether they have arms/legs yet or ears or whatever.

Shall I just go with my previous dates? Or go back to 6 weeks?

I've also been following a MC odds reassurer every day and been watching my odds go down day by day (which is awesome) but if I go back to 6 weeks I feel like we are almost back to square one

I've also been taking 'bump' pictures every two weeks. So the first one was when we got the + test at 4 weeks. Then two weeks later at 6 weeks, then yesterday at 8 weeks and had planned to do that consistently throughout and put them all together.
I feel like I will have two at 6 weeks when one is clearer bigger than the other! (bloating obvs but still bigger, and only on my tummy)
When people ask how many weeks I am, I just shrug and say "I dunno..." or "anywhere between 6 and 9 weeks!"

BTW I have a scan appointment for next weds morning. everything will be fine

Hmmm... for now, I think I'd still go by my original dates. I've seen a couple of ladies post on here to say their dates changed at their early scan but then they caught up again (or went back again) by 12 weeks.

The 12 week one is what they'll take as your "official" date. And by then, you'll hopefully feel more confident if the date does still go back a bit.

Enjoy your scan next week. It will be fine. Xx

@Frazzlerock Just coming back to this thread to tell you that I had a scan today. I should be 11w1d and measured 11w5d. 13 days ago, I had a scan dating me at 9w instead of 9w2d. So 13 days have passed, but the difference between the two scans is 2w5d; a discrepancy of 6 days. It just goes to show that those little jelly beans can change so much in such a short space of time xx

So sorry you’re going through this, and that your DP let you down.

I have experienced similar. only time will tell.

I felt in limbo and found the fear difficult to manage.

Anxiety / worry does not cause pregnancy loss: that was a very unkind thing for your DP to say.

Hi @TokenGinger I'm so pleased all is well with your scan.

I think I could cope with a 6 day discrepancy, but 2 weeks just seems such a large difference. I guess I will see on Weds next week. I'm almost thinking I shouldn't go and just wait for the 12 week one on 20th Dec. But will I go nuts with angst before then!?
But then if Weds brings us more crap measurements I will have angst anyway.

God it was never this hard with my two DC. I just got on with it and my early scans were spot on.
The two MCs since I had them has turned me into an irrational bunch of nerves

Yesterday, however, my body remembered that I am pregnant after several days of literally no symptoms. I had very subtle nausea and I swear my boobs twinged a bit. Today though, nothing.

@Loopytiles dare I ask you what the outcome was?

Hi @Frazzlerock, what my scan taught me yesterday was, he's either just measuring big yesterday, or at the last scan when they measured him small, he was tucked up or something. Because I don't know ovulation date, I didn't question it but it could well have just been measuring smaller than it should be for its time and now he's caught up.

I'd go next week. It'll show you that it's grown an additional week which will give you comfort knowing it's progressing xx

In your situation I would go to the scan on Wednesday. If they have the info and measurements from your last scan, hopefully this scan should provide clearer info.

It’s really horrible waiting and not knowing, between scans.

I twice had similar situations (but didn’t see a heartbeat) and for me the outcome was, sadly, miscarriage, very luckily I did go on to have DC!

With my current pregnancy I was 2 weeks and 1 day off with dates. We know exactly when we conceived (it was a bit of a lean month) and really don’t know wth happened between that day and implantation. When I went for my first scan I was also really upset and unsure because logically the baby was measuring such a large amount of time wrong. However I’m now 36 weeks (or 38 plus 1!) and he or she is still doing fine, now a bit big for dates. I hope it’s the same for you.

@TokenGinger thank you for your lovely positivity. Like you say, I am wondering if baby is just hiding a bit. I actually have a retroverted uterus and titled cervix (pretty sure those go hand in hand but thought I'd mention both) so maybe, just maybe it is harder to get a good view, even with the vagcam...

@Loopytiles I'm so sorry for your losses but really pleased you went on to have DC. I actually have two older DC (previous marriage). I'm now on my third pregnancy with DP and I have a feeling he won't try again after this. It took 2.5 years following or last 2 losses for him to agree to try again and I never want to go through that hell again. That is why it is so important that this little rainbow of hope sticks around.

@Elllicam That is ^really encouraging! Thank you!

@Frazzlerock I also have a retroverted uterus so you may well be right with that assumption it's linked if mine was measuring small early on, too. At my 9 week scan, they really struggled to find him and had to use a Doppler to find a heartbeat at first xx