I am an idiot.

[Jadem1409]

Hey so I gave birth to my son still born at 38 weeks on the 3rd sept. He died due to me suddenly getting severe preeclampsia causing an abruption. The birth was traumatic and ending up in an emergency c-section and a stay in intensive care.
We have only had sex once unprotected..... don’t make funeral plans and drink a bottle of wine at the same time!
I have just realised that I haven’t a period since and i have all the symptoms that I had when I first got pregnant with my son.
Please don’t judge me this was never the plan I am in no way trying to replace my baby. He is my world. I am judging myself enough.
I am sat with a test trying to get the courage to do it. I feel so guilty just at the thought of it. What would the chance of that test being positive so I can brace myself?

We had sex on the 21st September so 18 days after I gave birth xx

Just here to give a hand hold. You have nothing to feel guilty for xxx

No one would judge you, don’t be daft. You’ve been through something terrible.

I suspect it will be positive, you’re very fertile after you give birth.

Thinking of you.

You can never replace your baby, but that doesn't mean you aren't allowed more children. Take the test and then you can think about it properly once you know the facts. At the moment you are in limbo. Be kind to yourself, whatever the result.

Thank you! Everything is telling me it will be I am just terrified to to do it 💔

I agree. You have nothing to feel guilty about if that test comes back positive.

Be kind to yourself xxx

Another hand hold here, until you are ready to take the test and for the result. Missing periods could be due to stress but only the test will say fot sure. So sorry for your loss and like the pp said you absolutely have nothing to feel guilty about.

Really sorry for your loss.

Please try not to feel guilty though. Having another baby, wouldn't be a replacement, even if you feel that's how it might seem right now. Both would be your children. Your first child will still be loved and remembered, no matter how many more children you go on to have x

Just get it over with. Not testing doesn't change if you are pregnant or not, handhold here for you xxx

You've been through something horrifically awful. Nobody is judging you at all.

You need to know for sure, you may not be.

A new beginning isn't trying to replace your precious baby.
Sorry for your loss op.

Nothing to feel guilty for. You aren't trying to replace your son, but the longing to mother a child is strong. Even if it wasn't intentional, it doesn't matter. It's happened now and you really need to take a test. 18 days would be the absolute earliest you could conceive after birth though, so it's unlikely.

I'm so sorry about your still birth.

But don't be daft woman! No need to feel guilty at all, especially given the circumstances.

Just go and pee on that stick!

You're not an idiot. Nothing you did was wrong or anything to judge someone over. Try not to give yourself a hard time, be kind to yourself

You've absolutely nothing to feel guilty for, the only caution might be medically if you've recently had a Caesarian how that would work.

I'm so sorry for your loss

You're certainly not an idiot!

I'm sure people will only be delighted for you. Of course you can never replace your son. You must still be feeling very raw, I hope you can let yourself feel some joy x

I'm so sorry about your son. If you are pregnant, there is a fantastic pregnancy after stillbirth/late term miscarriage group on mumsnet that will help you along the way.

@Jadem1409 I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dd last year when she was stillborn at 27 weeks due to placental problems.
Here to hold your hand and there is a little group of us who know exactly what you are experiencing, I can send you the details for the chat and a small private fb group if you wish.
I am currently 23 weeks pregnant and it is the most amazing, fucked up feeling in the world.
We didn't get pregnant straight away because I was desperate for more tests to be done before we tried but it went against every instinct we had not to try straight away. I missed her so much and all the hormones completely mess with your head. You have not done anything wrong and no one will judge you. Hormones, grief and a tiny bit of alcohol can be a very powerful concoction.

I can totally relate. My gorgeous little girl died last year and I completely unexpectedly fell pregnant again 6 weeks later. My second little girl is now three months old and my world. She will never replace her big sister but she has made me smile again. Thinking of you xx

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please do not feel guilty.

You’re not an idiot, and nobody is judging

You’re not an idiot, and nobody is judging you

You are not an idiot!!! You are a grieving mother doing the best you can in horrific circumstances.

I am so very sorry for your loss

Please don't feel guilty. I lost my dd at 6 months pregnant due to a true knot, and I got pregnant straight away after. It was the only thing that made sense after all the pain and heartbreak of losing her. I now have a rainbow daughter who is 20 months old. I look at it now like my sleeping dd blessed us with a little sister for her. Sending you lots of love in what must be a very confusing time for you. X