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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Drinking whilst breastfeeding

47 replies

Cocopops2010 · 09/11/2018 07:39

Hi everyone, could do with some reassurance.
I'm near my due date, and a few months ago my dh and I moved to a medium sized village. There are lots of mums in the village with seven/eight year olds and older. They've all been very friendly.
However, something I am finding really tricky is that these mums are quite opinionated about pregnancy/bringing up children. A few of them now have mentioned to me that they didn't drink at all when they were breastfeeding, which personally I believe isn't necessary having read NHS guidance and having spoken to my midwife. The other day one of them mentioned that she would be having a party at her house and would let me know the date. I said thanks, and said something like 'really looking forward to having a drink!" just as a silly joke really. She paused, and then said "well, it depends on how your breastfeeding is going of course."
I felt really stupid and embarrassed, but then later I felt angry. Why should women have to become martyrs as soon as they become mothers? Now I am worrying that at all social occasions next year (when I get the chance to go to one!) I am going to be feeling self-conscious if I have a drink.
Any advice? If you think I'm being way too sensitive, just say!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LaBelleSausage · 09/11/2018 07:51

This is a tough one as I think the advice has changed in this timeframe (unless any of them were extended breastfeeders, I assume they stopped around 1 so 6-7 years ago). It’s basically equivalent to seeing a pregnant woman having a glass of wine - I know that currently research says it’s ok but it still pushes buttons for some people.

It’s up to you how you want to handle it. I’m breastfeeding an almost one year old and I’m certainly drinking!

The first couple of times I went out I was asked if I’d have to be up all night pumping and dumping, and I just said no, the advice has totally changed now and it’s been proven that the real danger is being drunk in charge of a baby, or cosleeping after a drink, not that a minuscule amount of alcohol might end up in my milk.

I then distracted them with the fact that pregnant women can even eat runny eggs these days, and moved on.

I doubt anyone is harbouring secret thoughts hat I’m a terrible mother, and screw them if they are!

SockQueen · 09/11/2018 08:16

It is NOT the same as drinking while pregnant - the amount transferred via your milk into baby's gut and then their bloodstream is far smaller than when it passes directly into their blood via the placenta. You'd have to be unconscious for your milk to have enough alcohol to have any effect on the baby. I can do a very boring pharmacology lecture on this.

As pp have said, the risks are being too drunk to hold your baby or co-sleeping, but as long as you don't go crazy, a glass or two isn't going to have any effect.

TheDayMyButtWentPsycho · 09/11/2018 08:21

I drank when breast feeding.

My worry is drinking and falling asleep with them in my arms.
I did that after two glasses of red wine with my first baby. It terrified me when I woke and realised what I'd done. I never did that again!

So for me personally it's not about the breast feeding, it's about the situation that follows and keeping everyone safe if I've had wine.

Enjoy your drink and fuck everyone else. If they question you, just say DH has some breast milk stocked up to give.

Original poster

Cocopops2010 · 09/11/2018 10:11

Thank you everyone you have reassured me! I think I just need to try and focus on what I think is right, rather than worrying about what everyone else thinks... Thanks again

OP posts:

KateTTC123 · 09/11/2018 12:38

My lo was in NICU for 8 weeks so we were given lots of advice about breastfeeding from people who actually know. It's nothing like having wine while pregnant! The exact words of one nurse were "if you can find your baby you can feed your baby"! I never had mlre than a glass of wine but I enjoyed the ones I had guilt free! Have a drink and don't worry about their nonsense!

BrewsD · 09/11/2018 15:46

Baby due end of this month, planning on breastfeeding and I made a comment that I'm looking forward to a glass of mulled wine at Christmas.
A close friend nearly bit my face off and was absolutely disgusted! Surely a glass of mulled wine wouldn't effect breast milk that much?
Some people can be so judgemental, not like I'm planning a four day bender.

KatharinaRosalie · 09/11/2018 16:39

Alcohol content in breast milk is the same as in your blood. So the most alcohol your breast milk could have is 0.5%. After this, you die of alcohol poisoning. A glass of wine will not get your breastmilk anywhere close to being considered as containing alcohol.

Nothisispatrick · 09/11/2018 16:48

I’m breastfeeding and drinking, just being sensible. Alcohol doesn’t make me fall asleep either so not worried about that.

Kt08x · 09/11/2018 16:57

I'm on a LLL group on fb and this was discussed the other day- have attached something I screenshotted which I thought was really useful! X

ABitCrapper · 09/11/2018 17:01

Apart from 2 month when dd2 self weaned before dc3 was born - I have been continuously breastfeeding for nearly 8 years.

Hell, yes I have the odd drink!

costacoffeecup · 09/11/2018 17:05

Tell them you're formula feeding and watch their heads explode. Judgy feckers.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 09/11/2018 17:16

Agreed with everyone else that you can definitely have a drink - but think there's maybe a bigger issue here over these women being so judgemental? It's something I've found hard about motherhood - I've never done anything else where so many people have been so vocal about whether I'm doing it right. I'm trying to learn to ignore the sad faces/pointed questions ('do you have to?') when I say I'm going back to work at six months but it is so hard to trust yourself when other people are telling you you're doing it wrong. If you think this is going to be a recurring feature of this group then I'm not saying never see them again but I do think you should look for ways to make other friends too when baby is here who you don't make you feel as self conscious about perfectly reasonable choices.

daisy877 · 09/11/2018 17:20

@LaBelleSausage I think advise has changed since you were pregnant because Midwife's tell you not to drink alcohol what so ever now. Drinking and breastfeeding is ALOT different to drinking whilst pregnant.
Although personally I would express a lot before I've drunk for the next day as it would worry me slightly

daisy877 · 09/11/2018 17:22

I know only a very small percentage transferred to the baby but the percentage is still there :/

LaBelleSausage · 09/11/2018 17:23

@daisy877, I was only pregnant this time last year so I doubt it’s changed much, and I didn’t drink at all but I know a lot of women who did.

What I meant is that it’s perceived the same. Most women who were pregnant ten years ago are horrified by women breastfeeding and drinking in the same way that most women now are horrified when they see a pregnant woman drink.

userabcname · 09/11/2018 17:26

I ebf my toddler til 6 months and still bf now at 17months old. I didn't drink for the first 3 months as they are so teeny plus I was exhausted and didn't fancy it. I then did (and do!) enjoy a drink here and there - as long as you're not drunk it's fine! I don't know any long term breastfeeders who haven't enjoyed their favourite tipple while feeding. Good luck with it all!

ABitCrapper · 09/11/2018 17:32

daisy there is more naturally occurring alcohol in fresh orange juice than there is in breast milk after one unit. I'm ok with that.

anniehm · 09/11/2018 17:36

Depends who you listen to - i had mine in the US and it's 100% abstention in pregnancy and breastfeeding. Most people don't admit to drinking even with older kids around. Being expats and having a lot of international friends this was diluted somewhat in our friendship circle but admitting to drinking was tantamount to child abuse.

sittingonacornflake · 09/11/2018 17:38

I drink while breastfeeding. Quite literally. I sit in the pub with a pint of ale and breastfeed.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 09/11/2018 17:48

I sit in the pub with a pint of ale and breastfeed.

I remember doing this when DS was about six weeks - I had a pint of shandy, he spent the entire time sleeping on me except from a brief wake up to feed. It was bliss and I have the fondest memory of sitting there gazing at his little face while enjoying my beer. I did pick an already weak ale and have it as a shandy, partially because I was worried that as it was my first drink in a very long time I'd be drunk after one!

Parsley65 · 09/11/2018 17:53

My Mum was told by her doctor to drink a pint of Guinness every day while pregnant - doesn't seem to have harmed me.
I drank while pregnant and breast feeding. Not loads, but a glass or two at weekends and special occasions. My DC both got into the local grammar school and excel in maths and science. Don't think it's harmed them either...

daisy877 · 09/11/2018 18:04

@Parsley65 it doesn't harm every baby in the same way. Slightly stupid comment to say just cos your fine that every baby will be because that's not the case. You are advised by midwifed not to drink any alcohol what so ever whilst pregnant now. I'm guessing they have no research

daisy877 · 09/11/2018 18:04

New research *

daisy877 · 09/11/2018 18:06

From the NhS website
UK recommend that if you're pregnant or planning to become pregnant, the safest approach is not to drink alcohol at all to keep risks to your baby to a minimum.
Drinking in pregnancy can lead to long-term harm to the baby, with the more you drink, the greater the risk.

Parsley65 · 09/11/2018 18:23

Thank you Daisy for your 'wise' words!
I was just passing on my own (and my Mums) experiences, didn't want judging or to be called stupid.
I don't want to get into a slanging match, but would just point out that obviously advice changes over the years, obviously my experience will be different from other people.

Hope you can just shrug and say - that's what you did, I don't agree.

Have a good weekend...

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