Drinking whilst breastfeeding

[Cocopops2010]

Hi everyone, could do with some reassurance.
I'm near my due date, and a few months ago my dh and I moved to a medium sized village. There are lots of mums in the village with seven/eight year olds and older. They've all been very friendly.
However, something I am finding really tricky is that these mums are quite opinionated about pregnancy/bringing up children. A few of them now have mentioned to me that they didn't drink at all when they were breastfeeding, which personally I believe isn't necessary having read NHS guidance and having spoken to my midwife. The other day one of them mentioned that she would be having a party at her house and would let me know the date. I said thanks, and said something like 'really looking forward to having a drink!" just as a silly joke really. She paused, and then said "well, it depends on how your breastfeeding is going of course."
I felt really stupid and embarrassed, but then later I felt angry. Why should women have to become martyrs as soon as they become mothers? Now I am worrying that at all social occasions next year (when I get the chance to go to one!) I am going to be feeling self-conscious if I have a drink.
Any advice? If you think I'm being way too sensitive, just say!

I agree the anecdotal evidence of the 'I drank and baby is fine' sort isn't particularly helpful. But do some research rather than just believing whatever the nhs says too. There's a reason they now say no alcohol when before it was 1-2 units twice a week and it's not really based on research (but because they don't trust women to know what a 'unit' is.) So there's definitely a bit of nanny stating going on.

How nice that posters on this thread are giving OP another demonstration of mothers sanctimoniously judging each other!

Just out of interest - how much is too much ?

Focalpoint according to my midwife, it’s when you see two babies instead of one.
The real risk is being drunk when looking after a baby or cosleeping when drunk

I'm currently breastfeeding and I do have a drink. It won't be the same for everyone but nothing gives me a (painful) blocked duct faster than a glass of wine. I learned very quickly to drink loads of water at the same time or my boobs suffer the following day.

I would echo a previous poster in saying try to find some mum friends who have similar values to you in terms of parenting (whatever they might be!). I started off in a group where I just felt rubbish all the time and like a crappy mum, but later met a couple of mums who were a better fit and I realised I wasn’t a crap mum our values just didn’t align. Good luck with it all - and try and enjoy it :-) x

Do you think a child should be taking in any alcohol? Is that amount of alcohol toxic?
Will you worry in 5 years time if they struggle to read well?
If you have the answers and are happy with them then go for it.
We don’t test alcohol on children for obvious reasons so no one can say for sure. However the amount of alcohol in a glass of wine, which will then enter Breast milk is pretty small.

I drink and bf. Why don’t people just use science to form opinions? It’s literally impossible for breastmilk to contain more than 0.55% alcohol, The same as alcohol free beer or fresh orange juice.

“The legal driving limit in the UK is 0.08 per cent. If your alcohol level is higher than 0.15 per cent you are unmistakably drunk. If it goes above 0.55 per cent you simply drop dead. Therefore, it’s absolutely impossible for breastmilk to contain more than 0.55 per cent alcohol.”

Being too drunk to look after your baby or co sleep safely is a far greater risk than having a few drinks and breastfeeding.

Same issue with medications and breastfeeding. I know people who have been told by gp that they can’t take antibiotics and breastfeed. I was dosed up with several types of iv antibiotics in hospital and advised to continue breastfeeding. I know drugs companies can never claim that their products are safe whilst breastfeeding because they can’t test them but a little common sense would go along way.

Actually costacoffeecup has the best advice on this thread

Why the hell do you need to drink alcohol

lyndar because I’m a terrible, feckless mother. I start on the gin at about 3pm just to get me through another afternoon of CBeebies.

Oh dear what a hard life you have

I honestly find it so odd as to why people need alcohol there are so many other ways to relax but as long as the baby is ok that's the main c oncern

I drank a little whilst pg with my Ds who was grammar school educated and very intelligent; I also drank a little throughout my time breastfeeding him for 18 months. He's 20 now.
I didn't drink anything until later in my pregnancy with Dd (because I went off the taste of alcohol) but, I did drink a little when breastfeeding her for a tad under 5 years! She is not grammar school educated. maybe I should've drunk more alcohol!

A little now and then will do no damage. Your body will filter out the bad stuff. I carried on bfing Dd at 10 months through a severe bout of Norovirus and she did not catch it from me.

Enjoy your glass of wine.

I honestly find it so odd as to why people need alcohol there are so many other ways to relax but as long as the baby is ok that's the main c oncern

I don't 'need' alcohol. I like it. Since I haven't drunk more than one beer in a sitting since having DS I'm not exactly getting drunk, I'm enjoying the taste of one of my favourite things (I consider myself a bit of an ale geek).

If you tell women that while breastfeeding they have to follow strict dietary rules despite no actual supporting evidence for them then you will bring breastfeeding rates lower.

@anniehm I live in the US. Every one I know with babies breastfeeds and every one drinks.

Why do people not apply basic science?

As said upthread SCIENCE dictates how much alcohol is transferred to breast milk and it's negligible.

Honestly, do some proper research before you start screeching from your (ill informed) high horses.

@dogwoofbark nothing to do with high horse ; why take the risk of damaging your baby with toxins

@lyndar leave the OP and other posters alone with your non-scientific clap trap - go forth and multiply.

The guidance had changed though fairly recently as when I had my my daughter 2yrs 9 months ago they advised you not to drink whilst bf so the mothers you're talking about probably don't realise it had changed since they had Kids!

@BlueBug45 what does that mean please

Do you think a child should be taking in any alcohol? Is that amount of alcohol toxic?

Even if you binge drank to the point of unconsciousness, the highest alcohol percentage in your breast milk would be 0.5%. That is low enough that if it was sold to the public it would be classed as “non-alcoholic”. It is NOT toxic. And just having a glass of wine or two would make it much lower even than that.

OP, you are not being oversensitive and that judgemental attitude is something I hate. I don’t get why being pregnant/having a baby suddenly makes it fine for people to openly criticise, question or judge your every move - and at a time in your life when what you most need is support. It’s very sad.