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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

2 potential fathers

45 replies

Izzy3456 · 28/10/2018 20:13

The last date of my period was on the 2nd of September, I’m now 8 weeks pregnant with 2 potential fathers.

One of them being my ex partner for 4 years we had unprotected sex for them 4 years and I never fell pregnant with him. We broke up over 6 months ago and I found a new partner, we had unprotected sex for more than 2 months and wasn’t careful and I fell pregnant with him but unfortunately had a early miscarriage.

We broke up on the 14th of September.. and I slept with my ex of 4 years 2 days later.
When I slept with my ex I bleed a little, I was also having little cramps that woke me up in the middle of the night.
I’m really confused.. is there no way of telling until the baby is born or can I work this out???

OP posts:
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coughingbean · 28/10/2018 20:15

I'm not sure I can work out why on earth you haven't used protection?!

WhatToDo86 · 28/10/2018 20:16

So you slept with the 2 different men 2 days apart? I’d say there is no way to tell until the baby is born...?

How do you feel about both potential panthers?

WhatToDo86 · 28/10/2018 20:16

Fathers! Not panthers?!

NoArmaniNoPunani · 28/10/2018 20:18

It sounds like you were already pregnant when you slept with your ex

3luckystars · 28/10/2018 20:20

Liste, that is a complete mystery and only a DNA test can reveal the truth.

MamaJune · 28/10/2018 20:26

Were you using any form of contraception with the newer boyfriend?

maddjess · 28/10/2018 20:29

FFS! She doesn't need lecturing on contraception

Lilbear14 · 28/10/2018 20:30

When did you last have sex with your recent ex?
I would say if you had bleeding and cramping within the hours after having sex with your ex ex then it's possible you was already pregnant but that bleeding and cramping could have been from the sex itself? However, you won't know until you have a DNA test as that is a close call.
All I can say is you need to be honest with the two potential father's. Don't lead one to believe he's the dad when it could be the other because you'll be opening up a whole new disaster.

rippedjeans98 · 28/10/2018 20:30

she wasn't asking for a lecture on contraception 🤷🏻‍♀️

CherryPavlova · 28/10/2018 20:31

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Taylor22 · 28/10/2018 20:31

You have got to have a DNA test. Not for you. A little bit for them but 100% for the baby.

This is not something you can leave up to guess work.

SoyDora · 28/10/2018 20:32

If they were only 2 days apart then unfortunately there is absolutely no way of knowing without a DNA test.

maddjess · 28/10/2018 20:41

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Lilbear14 · 28/10/2018 20:50

Why poor baby? We know nothing about OP other than she's had a recent break up and had sex with two men in a short space of time...it's not exactly un heard of.
Aslong as the right thing is done and the father is identified asap and the baby is looked after then there is no need to jump on OPs back when she is 8 weeks pregnant. I can't imagine it's easy for her and she's hardly oblivious to the mistake she has made.

SoyDora · 28/10/2018 20:51

Poor child? Does having sex with more than one person mean you’re guaranteed to be a bad mother?

mimibunz · 28/10/2018 21:02

Doesn’t mean she will be a bad mother, but it does reflect an understandable reaction given the irresponsible decisions she has been making.

Florries · 28/10/2018 21:07

I'm sure I saw this exact dilemma on Jeremy Kyle the other week...

bertielab · 28/10/2018 21:10

DNA is your only answer. Do they both know?
The internet can't help you here. Sperm can live for 7 days. Either could be father.

Are you with any of them now? Does boyfriend know you slept with ex etc? Decide what you want. But if you have the baby tell them both.

rippedjeans98 · 29/10/2018 08:34

this is exactly what's wrong with world, this woman being basically slut shamed for having sex with two people, it's fucking ridiculous. Get over yourselves. And poor child ? What is wrong with you ?

Iswallowtoothpaste · 29/10/2018 08:44

Jesus Christ! Get down off your soap boxes!

@OP there really is no way of knowing - all you can do is guess and speculate. Have you told either of them about the pregnancy? It’s probably going to be best to be open and honest about it with them both.

The only thing you can really do is get a DNA test ASAP after baby is born.

Good luck op.

Lilbear14 · 29/10/2018 08:51

@rippedjeans98 it's this whole forum aswell, if anyone posts a negative situation, often regarding dad's or relationship they get absolutely torn apart, they are the worst mothers. Children out of wedlock? Children to more than one bloke? Fall pregnant by accident? Not in employment? Dont post asking for advice.
Women are supposed to support and empower each other...this forum is just an excuse to have a pop at each other. There's times when it is probably necessary but this isn't. Feel sorry for OP.

Original poster
Izzy3456 · 29/10/2018 09:16

I think that it’s ridiculous that some of you are shaming me and saying poor child? My child is going to have the best possible life that I can give it, just because I made the mistake of sleeping with too men doesn’t instantly mean that I’m going to be a bad mother, get over yourself!
You have no idea what I’m going through at the moment and the amount of stress that it’s causing me. I know I put myself in this position and if i could change it I would. But it’s happened now and all I’m asking for is abit of advice.
Both of the potential fathers know. One is being so much more supportive than the other.
When I had sex with my ex ex, I bleeding a little and was having cramps that woke me up during the night.
My ex ex, we never used conception, we had unprotected sex for just over 4 years ( yes I know I’m stupid for not using conception ) before any of you say anything..

OP posts:
Lilbear14 · 29/10/2018 09:41

@Izzy3456 the fact that you are aware of the mistakes you made and not come on here playing a saint is enough to gain support not lectures.
It's going to be a hard few months, mentally aswell as physically.
I'm on my third pregnancy to a 3rd man....the kids are still my kids aswell at the end of it so sod what everyone else thinks. My kids are doing just fine and do not lack any love or support from me, their dads or other family. If you don't hesitate and do the right thing by your child regarding the DNA, how can anyone judge. It's not the perfect situation but aslong as you and baby are ok that's all that matters in my opinion.

I remember many years ago I posted asking for advice on how to leave a toxic/abusive relationship and all i got was lectures about having a child with him.....🙄 Don't get me wrong, this forum can be great but has a lot of downsides too.

Original poster
Izzy3456 · 29/10/2018 09:46

I’m sorry to hear that, some people can just be arseholes unfortunately.
It’s upsetting to hear people saying poor child, I’ve made a mistake and trust me I’m dealing with the consequences..
I definitely am getting a dna test when baby is born. I’ve just been told by a lot of people that they think it’s my ex’s, not my ex ex.. it’s very confusing! Only because of the dates, and obviously me being with him for 4 years and not falling pregnant with him once.

OP posts:
Darkstar4855 · 29/10/2018 09:48

Sorry but agree with other posters that it could be either man and only a DNA test will tell you for sure. Good luck with your pregnancy.

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