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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Anyone got any funny pregnancy/childbirth stories???!!!!!

58 replies

barney2 · 17/06/2007 09:15

So has anyone got anything funny to tell the rest of us about pregnancy & childbirth?!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
maxbear · 18/06/2007 20:51

When my sister was having her first baby, the pethidine made her go a bit doo laly and she kept on about how she was going to have to put the cat in the washing machine on program c!

barney2 · 18/06/2007 22:01

bump

OP posts:
Notquitegrownup · 19/06/2007 10:01

Nearlythere "no one had told her i was having twins" - . I can't believe how little help you got! Amazing story!

An old friend of mine gave birth to twins in the days when men stayed outside - but they hadn't known she was expecting twins, so they went through the classic comedy scene of the father asking whether it was a boy or girl and being told "both".!

nearlythere · 19/06/2007 11:43

yes but to be fair on her she had just done an 8 hour shift on the high risk delivery unit, and then got thrown in at the deep end! she was only supposed to be checking my bloodn pressure etc for half an hour until the correct midwife arrived!

And i had been in labour for a looooong time and everyone was convinced that i wasn't preggers at all and just had wind!!!

lemonaid · 23/06/2007 23:46

The famous "Savaged Min-Min" Thread

kyala · 24/06/2007 16:46

I have just wet myself at that story (no less to the simple fact that she refers to it as her "min-min" lol)

I am going to sit in a corner and try to forget it as I now have a good 5 hours until DH gets home from work and don't fancy clearing up the mess myself PMSL

Nothing really funny happened with labour the first time round (no drugs so I didn't see the funny side of anything!!)
But DH was crying more than I was, not sure if it was cos os the pain in his hand/back (from my gripping and leaning on him) or because he REALLY wanted me to be in a Hospital rather than our bathroom (crouched over the toilet, don't tell DH!! We're going to tell her it was in the bath with rose petals and incense!!)lol

mad4girls · 24/06/2007 18:06

this thread certainly put a smile on my face

only thing i remeber from having my 2 dd's first was a horrible scary long experience but was only a v short labour with dd2 hadnt been there long and said i needed to push i suddenly decided i didnt want to give birth and clamped my legs shut on 1 side i had exh pulling one leg and the mw pulling the 0other trying to prizhe them open (not quite sure what i thought closing my legs at this late stage would acheve i did eventually push her out and would have been a hell of alot quicker if i had opened my legs to the inevitable)

also remeber with both births that i wore my pants right till the last mintue when i would suddenly have the urge to push and you would see a pair of pants fly across the room,have no idea why i wanted to keep them on i just did

the shame of it

kinki · 24/06/2007 19:00

I revealed this embarrassing story in my ante-natal board. I'm totally humiliated so what have I got to lose in telling the rest of the world? So I've cut and pasted.

I work in the local hospital. So obviously I know a lot of staff. Years ago I used to work a lot of nights, and part of that involved working in theatres. Anyway jump to a particular night to me being in labour with ds1. Things started to go a a bit wrong. Ds1's heartbeat suddenly dropped really low and the decision to do a section was made - and to do it very quickly.

They ran me to theatre where about 8 of my colleagues were rushing around getting ready. Someone whipped off my covers to prep me, ie shave and clean. I was glad to see the shaver, was an older female nurse. My legs were dead, due to an epidural, so she called for someone to hold them. Two male colleagues suddenly appear, to hold my legs while my ladygarden is defuzzed. I'm just about holding it together, I'm worried about the baby, but I'm dying with embarrassment too. But everyone is being professional and not saying much to me. Then an oda, young and male, needs to attach the heart monitor. So he whips away the one remaining gown covering my chest and starts to attach leads. I'm laying buttnaked, two legs held by colleagues while someone is still shaving ladygarden. At the point when the oda is holding my left nork to attach that lead, he looks up at me and squeals "oh you're from , I didn't realise it was you, hey everyone it's ". Next voice is from nurse (male) holding leg next to shaving action: "I thought I recognised you". I lift my head to see him looking at my fanjo and manage a pathetic "You recognise me from that angle?" The next few minutes was spent receiving good luck wishes and sentiments from the oda and other colleagues who all now realised who I am. And you know when some people chat with you, they sometimes go into suspended animation and stop what they're doing? Well for those few minutes the oda kept hold of my left nork while he chatted away.

I suppose the shame, embarrassement, and humiliation took my mind of a very stressfull situation. Soon enough they were covering me with gowns and all getting on with the business of getting the baby out. But I could never look that oda in the eye again. It took a long time before I didn't blush everytime I went into theatre after that. Imagine how you would feel going through all that with your colleagues.

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