I don't enjoy being pregnant, Bad mum?

[newmummyjan19]

DISCLAIMER: I know some of this will sound like I am ungrateful that I am having a child but this is my own personal thoughts and also this is very long so if you hate reading you would leave now

No no no you're not being stupid. I could have written this. I honestly couldn't tell you one good thing about being pregnant (nearly 19 weeks).

Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one. For every one who sees the little blue line and dances around the kitchen there is one of us who thinks Oh bugger.

But things get lots better very quickly.
1 the morning sickness should pass.

1. Most work places get their heads around you needing to attend appts
2. One small baby does not need a spare room or a people carrier. Stop buying things. All you really need is some clothes, some nappies, cotton wool & some wipes to start with. You can hire a car seat. People will give or lend you loads of stuff. Trust me.
3. If you only have one, your body will hopefully bounce back into shape with a bit of effort. Not true for everyone, but mostly. The trouble starts with the second one.
4. One lot of child minder fees is just about doable. Two isn’t.

You will eventually feel normal again. And on the way, you will discover resources you never imagined you could muster.
Congratulations.

Some people absolutely love being pregnant, look amazing and feel great. I am
not one of those people, just like you.

I’ve just sat here crying that I can’t do this anymore and I’m only 9 weeks. I’ve done this twice before and it doesn’t get easier (for me anyway).

It all feels overwhelming but I’m sure you are doing great. It’s so tough when you’re experiencing it but soon enough you will be looking back on this period with a baby / toddler. I agree with PP about buying stuff, it’s so easy to buy everything but there really are very few essentials you need. Maybe making a list of what you’ve got would help? Feel free to even share it and then we can say anything we think is missing.

Sending a virtual hug, I promise this time will pass

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3388281-I-hate-being-pregnant this is my recent thread if it makes you feel better

I absolutely detested being pregnant. It was absolutely shit, and I felt like a freak because everyone else seems to say how brilliant it is, how much they loved it, isn’t it incredible and a miracle etc, and I was sat there crying about how much I fucking hated it.

You can get prenatal depression, if you feel like you need some support, please talk to your MW for a referral. If you just hate it but don’t feel you need extra support, it’s A ok to hate being pregnant, it doesn’t mean you’re a shit mum, and (thankfully) it doesn’t last forever - even though it might feel like it will!

I was one of those who loved pregnancy. Yep, literally loved everything about it. Even going over didn't phase me. Because i had NO symptoms except getting big.

Then i fell pregnant with DS & boom, every symptom hit me like a tonne of bricks. Nausea & morning sickness. Check. All. Day. Long. And it didn't end until he was born.
Complete & utter exhaustion from day one. Check.
SPD. Check. Ended up on crutches.
Anaemia. Check.

I hated every second of it. Even feeling him move was frustrating because it hurt. I cried when they cancelled my induction at 12 days over.

He's here now. And i love him more than anything. It definitely doesn't make you a bad mum

I wanted a baby, but I hated every minute of being pregnant. Both times. The hyperemisis didn’t help either. That was both times too.

Don’t feel bad, it’s a means to an end. My first pregnancy was a surprise (coz I’m an idiot that doesn’t understand birth control) and I found it hard to get my head around everything. It also didn’t help that I was constantly nauseous and had weird food aversions. But my DD is so awesome I’m 39 weeks pregnant with DD2. Was determined to enjoy it this time but nope, just mostly puking, tired and fed up. Can’t wait to meet her but if DH could get pregnant I’d definitely let him take a turn!

I detest being pregnant I get morning sickness all day, loose my taste buds and appetite, I am anemic and have issue raising my iron levels, I bleed constantly and each time get cholestatis which is unbearable but for me my children are worth it. It doesn't make you a bad mum at all

Yeh say you are doing it solo? Are you now single?

Also didn't really enjoy pregnancy and post birth was god awful. The physical experiences spoiled my first few months with both babies and they destroyed my mental health for a while but you survive x

as others have said you’re definitely not alone... i despised every moment i was pregnant with DD1 and despite this find myself 32 weeks with DD2 currently.... guess what I’m HATING this pregnancy too!

I can understand everything bar your attitude towards finances.

Me and my dp were still in uni when I found out I was pregnant. We started with two big overdrafts, no home, no job and no income. We don’t come from well off families so no help there. I’m now 33 weeks pregnant, dp has managed to get a low payed call centre job and we’ll (hopefully) move into our first cheap little rented place mid November (3 weeks before baby is due). Moving alone costs thousands (deposit, agency fees, 1st month rent upfront, furniture) so we don’t really have any left for the baby but that’s the least of our concerns because there are ways around it.

So far I have managed to get hold of most things the baby needs second hand without incurring further debt. A baby is only as expensive as you want them to be and they really don’t need much stuff. I’m fed up of hearing people moan about the price of baby stuff when it needn’t be, some of us just actually can’t afford the best so we make do.

I understand your complaints about pregnancy and you’re entitled to not enjoy it- don’t let anyone belittle your feelings. I haven’t particularly enjoyed being pregnant due to the lack of stability I have in my life at the moment, however, I have to force myself to look at the bright side and hope that things will get better. Hang in there and try to think of the positives. Instead of thinking “I’ve only just...managed to get a house, have engagement party, start new job etc.”, think about what you’ve achieved. I’d give anything to have had those experiences prior to my pregancy. You’ve done well for yourself and this baby will be worth it in the end.

P.S. if you need the money send some stuff back!

@elpreggo27 @Seniorschoolmum @isitthehormones @Iwantaunicorn @Pissedoffdotcom @BikeRunSki @Aozora13 @Lovewinemorethanhusband @Queenofthedrivensnow @SecondTimeCharm

I can't thank you ladies enough for making this feeling seem like it's okay as I have felt super shit recently feeling like I'm terrible as I do understand people have the tougher than me but it doesn't make it any easier.

I really do only have the basics for my baby and that's all I plan on getting as I'm most definitely not feeling very maternal at all 😳

As for going solo on planning things and bettering life for my self and my growing family, my partner and I are very much still together but like everything if you want a job done good you have to do it yourself 🙄

I've just only turned 27 weeks and Jesus I am tired... I spent today crying about being tired whilst trying to sleep... I've finally bought myself a maternity pillow, so my partner knows how much I love a hug when I'm sad so today he hugged me and I cried for a good 3 hours about the fact that I didn't want to be hugged 😳

But ladies thank you again ❤️

Your definately not alone even though we were trying for a baby I don't enjoy being pregnant at all.

I'm incredibly frustrated having to ask my DH to do simple tasks because of pgp. I also have low blood pressure so my active outdoor lifestyle has become doing very little due to pain or dizzyness or both even bloody walking! I'm only 25 weeks....

Regarding spending loads try nct nearly new sales, ebay, buy swap sell etc so many baby clothes in amazing condition often still with tags on.

Mostly just remember it's completely normal not to love it and to speak to your midwife about concerns as pre natal depression is a thing which even less people talk about!

I completely agree. I literally had this conversation at work today. I don't understand when people tell they loved being pregnant.

I am sooo looking forward to getting my body back after the birth. Everything hurts, we can't eat or drink what we want. If you get in a mood people say 'it's just your hormones' this gets me sooo angry! Like your not allowed to have a legitimate reason for being pissed off just because your pregnant.

You have my sympathy 100%. I am not sure if I will have more than 1 kid. Don't think I want to do this again.

@katie23913

"It's your hormones" is all I hear all day everyday🙄

Today I also cried saying well I think my hormones are hormonal 😭😂

I agree 100% this is my first and my last I think and I salute people for being able to go through this time and time again 💪🏼

It's infuriating isn't it? My mother in law said this to me tonight and I just snapped with her and we had an argument. It's been a long time coming but she pushed me over the edge.

Even my boyfriend said he was glad I put her in her place because she needed to be told.

I wonder if we will be allow to be pissed off after the babies are born? Or will hormones be to blame for the next few years?

I hated it. Currently doing it again. Not enjoying it this time either.

ha ha OP. I hated being pregnant. Was extremely sick throughout. Put on 16 million stone (eating as an antidote to feeling sick) and had a DVT to boot.

But I was good at giving birth and loved being a mother (anything was better than being pregnant). So there you go. Pregnancy is 9 short (albeit it doesn't seem it at the time) months. You have 13 weeks to go! It doesn't last for ever.

@katie23913

Blaming hormones is good when on periods and needing some extra chocolate or feeling a little snappy...

I hope we are aloud to be pissed after after we have given birth because god for bid that we are tired and worn down!

It's like women are not aloud to complain about anything and we are not aloud to be tired because there's also someone for the tougher

I've had four and I'm trying to think of what I actually enjoyed about pregnancy. It was having an excuse to sleep. Any time. Also crisps.

Apart from that, it's shit hard. PGP, migraines, dizziness, palpitations, arse babies, stretch marks, hanging around in hospitals (esp with migraines), losing your marbles. It's a tough business.

I remember a friend telling me she kind of woke up as herself again about six months after her first, which fit really well with my experience.

Being pregnant is mostly horrible. For me it meant 5 months of sickness, anxiety, regret, hating my body not being my own. Now my baby is here I adore him though. Hating pregnancy doesn’t mean you won’t love being a parent. Pregnancy can really take it’s toll emotionally though.

31 weeks pregnant and I hate it. For different reasons to you- baby was planned but it happened quicker than I expected!

I've been SO sick from the start, it's been like the hangover from hell since April.
I have a health condition so have about 3 specialist appointments every week and midwife appointments.

I've started peeing myself whenever I cough, sneeze, move, breathe...I'm pretty sure I'm a walking BO/PEE aroma.

Sleep? What is sleep? I haven't slept in months!!! People need to stop saying to me it gets worse when the baby is here.
I know for a fact that it won't. I will at least get an hours solid sleep without peeing, coughing, having burning hip pain.

Also I need wine, rare steak and Brie!!!

I've told the other half if he wants more we will adopt.

I absolutely hate being pregnant! Me and DH wanted a baby but I still cannot wait for this 9 months to be over! Over half way now and I couldn't be more ready!

I swear if one more person tells me I'm miserable because I'm hormonal I will deck them.

I hated pregnancy too. I had hyperemesis, I had to give up exercise for ages and when I did go back to it I’d lost loads of fitness, my bladder was constantly full and uncomfortable and I just peed all the time, I struggled with sleep and I was really hormonal and emotional. I felt really depressed and was very worried about developing severe postnatal depression or even psychosis.

However, since my little boy was born I feel a weight has been lifted. Yes i’m tired but he’s amazing and so worth it. We have an amazing bond and I’m so glad we did it. Although I have absolutely no intention of having another baby ever!