Anxiety!!!!

[Firsttimetobe2019]

1st pregnancy - 17 weeks + 4 days.

Between scans and midwife appointments I cannot help but worry! I cannot feel any movements, the only pregnancy symptoms i’m having is headache and back ache! I cannot help but think the worst even when I have no reason too! It’s driving me mad and seeing it’s loss awareness month it’s all over Facebook and it’s realky not helping!

No line on my belly (most people have this by now - can’t remember the proper name)
Not really got a bump, when I prod about different places of my belly one part will be hard (assuming that’s where the baby is) and the rest is soft and squishy!

I don’t know what to do but I don’t want to waste the midwifes time because I have no physical reason to see her; no pain, no bleeding.
I think it’s just my brain going into overdrive!
My next scan isn’t until 25th Oct and I don’t see the midwife till 2nd Nov.
Any tips before I start going mad! Do i mention it to the midwife or just deal with it?!

I found the bit you are in now the HARDEST in terms of worrying. I had zero symptoms, no bump, no movement (or very sporadic), no line (still don't have one! I don't think 'most' people do). Speak to your midwife, we booked another appointment for me to listen to heartbeat between 17/18 weeks which saw me through to 20 week scan. Since scan things started to get slowly better. Bump properly started to show about 23 weeks, loads of movement daily and generally feeling a bit more pregnant. I am now almost 27 weeks. Try not to worry, everything will be fine and rest assured that it is completely normal not to feel pregnant at your stage. Call your midwife and see you can have another appointment to listen to heatbeat as it really helped! Other than that you just have to try to trust and be patient

Do I need to give reasoning for wanting it? I have looked at ordering one of those angel sounds Dopplers so then I can just check as and when?
It makes me feel a little better that someone else has the exact same thing!
I’m get monitored more due to high risk and I think when I have gaps like this last scan was end of last month it just makes me worry!
Just need to get the bubba moving!

I didn't need to give a reason to see mine. I just emailed her and said I feel really anxious and described basically what you have said - no bump, no symptoms, I felt that what movement I had had decreased... She called me that evening and said everything I was describing was totally normal for 17 weeks but if I wanted I could come in (I think in 3 days?) to have a listen and a chat. It massively helped.
I have read so many things about home dopplers and why NOT to buy them. The Nhs/lullaby trust etc is trying to get them banned. I was so tempted but held strong and am so glad I did. Its just a few weeks until you will start to feel baby properly - my kicks are so strong some days now I swear he/she is about to burst out through my stomach! 😂 Just try and keep busy, I did loads of research and planned everything I was going to buy for baby to keep busy. It will pass and everything will be fine. If you are having no actual signs to worry other than your own head the MASSIVE likelihood is that everything is OK!!

@SophieStripe
It’s driving me mad! I have just messaged her explaining how I feel! I know it’s a blessing to have such an easy pregnancy (I have the whole way through so far) but I would much rather be able to tell! I know the first pregnancy it can take longer to feel movement but I haven’t really felt anything at all
I think I’m just very impatient too I am trying to hold off of it because I can imagine I’d panic if I cannot find a heartbeat so I’m trying to avoid it in that sense! I haven’t really read up on it

That's exactly why they are trying to ban them. At this stage even trained midwives can struggle to find heartbeat depending on baby position. And then even when baby is larger it is so easy to pick up sound of placenta or even your own blood flow/heartbeat. So women are using them for reassurance if they feel decreased movement but they are picking up the wrong thing or not noticing a difference in a heartbeat that a professional would pick up. Basically just hearing heartbeating doesn't always = happy baby. They are trained to listen for different rhythms etc. So if u can resist, don't get one! Many people I am sure will come on to say they were great for them but that is my opinion.
You only have two and a bit weeks until your next scan, that is no time! Trust me I know it feels like forever but just do what you can to distract yourself. I use my phone calendar to create countdowns and try to make sure I have a few things in each week to look forward to to help pass the time. I even put things in diary like buy pram, buy cot, sort clothes etc. I just helps me to look forward. But if you have messaged midwife I am sure she will put your mind at ease and see you!

I’m 33 weeks and anxious A LOT! It’s really quite out of character for me so I’m finding it quite hard to deal with. OH is completely useless, just tells me not to worry like it’s that simple!! I know what you mean about worrying there are no obvious ‘symptoms’ I had terrible morning sickness at the beginning but the time between it ending and me feeling movements felt SO long! I almost wished I could have the sickness back so I could be sure I was still pregnant! I would say call the midwife help line, I’ve only done it twice (once after a small car crash and once for weaker movements) and both times they have been so great, really reassuring. Worry is a spiral and a really energy sapping emotion I know it’s hard but do what you can to keep busy and get in touch with the midwife to hear the heartbeat that should settle you for a few more days until you start to feel your baby move, wont be long now :-)

@PaperHalo my OH is useless too - your obsessed why are you worrying so much! It’s all completely new to me and everyone around me is either popping out their babies now or is much further along!
I feel like calling the line would waste their time they were so busy when I went in for a small bleed last time I had to go to A&E and then the ward when a space became free! I’ll see what the midwife says but the 2.5 weeks are going to drag on for what feels like forever! For being 17 weeks I think I’ve already had 4 scans and listened to the heartbeat twice and they’ve said baby’s happy and growing perfectly and really healthy although the last scan the belly measured very close to the end of the chart so that’s always toying on my mind!

My little one was right at the bottom line at 28 weeks and dropped right off by 31! I got sent for emergency monitoring and a scan directly from the midwife appointment! I was petrified! But turns out it’s just a very small bump with a smallish but nothing to worry about baby :-) I know it’s hard if you can’t feel movement yet but one thing that helps me snap out of the worry is that when I have a good day my little one seems to move more, it’s almost like she picks up my vibes! I do think there is something in the saying ‘happy mum, happy baby’, so don’t feel bad about calling the midwife, in my experience they don’t mind at all, call them up, get in to hear the heart beat and surf that happy wave until the little one starts wriggling for you :-)

I know exactly where you are coming from. Unfortunately, I think it's just something you'll need to make peace with. I almost lost my mind at 22 weeks as I'd just started feeling movement but it was sporadic at that point and I was obsessing/getting hysterical if I hadn't felt him for a while. As a control freak, this is one of the hardest things I've dealt with but I think you do just need to find something to focus on to get you through to next scan. I still keep saying 'all being well' or 'if we get there' and I'm 32+4. I get anxious at every growth scan and cry after each one. Nothing is guaranteed and it's hard!!!

@orangejuicer this whole pregnancy thing is petrifying! I think being so young (19) and with a huge support system but no one I can really rant to about my worries isn’t helping at all! My mum would be the best person to ask but she doesn’t want any involvement at all so i’m literally keeping it all in I suppose other than when I come on here and offload a bit!

The back pain is all that’s keeping me going at the moment but it is exhausting!

I'm exactly the same.. I'm 17+4 and don't have my next appointments until end of Oct. It's so stressful hearing about everyone else's movements when I didn't have any symptoms and I would always think the worst

I was anxious throughout my whole pregnancy. I now have a lovely 10 week old. Go and see your midwife, anxiety isn't no reason. Your mental health is so important.

I didn't get a line on my belly at all - so defo don't worry about that! I also just looked a bit chubbers until 20 weeks

Well tonight I’ve managed to try and distract myself with planning how we’re going to fit everything in the house and i’ve bought a changing table, looking at cots! I feel better planning, i’m more distracted! It’s hard to keep distracted!

Honestly i would send that machine straight back, you dont know how to use it like they do and say if u dont hear anything, you'll be worrying even more, honestly just get rid.
Im on number 2 now and my anxiety is ridiculous, but im trying to reduce it by completely reducing caffiene, so no chocolate, coffee, tea, coke, all too much. Feel better after a couple of days of avoiding those things.
My grandad always said there is no point worrying about something you cant control... fair point, so just try and distract yourself hun xxxxx

Have you thought about a private scan? The only issue with this is you may find yourself wanting them all of the time. I was anxious like this with my first. I did use a Doppler in the early stages, but once I felt movement I relied on that to gauge what was going on. I'm 16 weeks and have felt sporadic movement since about 13 weeks and have started to get concerned that no pattern is forming, but I remind myself that I didn't really feel anything definite until 17 weeks with my first and then actual kicks rather than a 'shifting' feeling until 21 weeks. If there is something wrong, very little can be done at this stage unfortunately, but it's very rare - less than 0.5%. Just try to enjoy being pregnant without too many symptoms now, as it does get harder. I look back and wished I enjoyed my first DC pregnancy more, as I've been sick as a dog, achy and grumpy with this one so far, and have not enjoyed it one bit!

The odds are in your favour of it being a healthy pregnancy now, so try to focus on that. You can speak to your midwife if your anxiety is bad. I have been referred for help with this and have had loads of support.

Hi! Im 34 weeks with my first pregnancy so maybe I can relax you a bit here.

Firstly, you probably wont feel any movements until around 20 weeks, and even then I only felt a tiny flutter if I laid flat and really concentrated, so please don’t worry about that just yet.

Secondly, I don’t have a line at all and I only have 6 weeks left lol not everyone gets it and it literally has nothing to do with the health of your baby.

Thirdly, as its your first you probably wont have a ‘proper bump’ for a while. It depends on so many things, your height/weight, position of baby etc. a lot of women don’t report having a noticeable first pregnancy bump until about 6/7 months pregnant.

So please, stop worrying! But if it is driving you crazy then call your midwife and ask for a check-up. But honestly, you’ve had nothing that rings alarm bells at this point.

I haven’t bought the Doppler if I was to get it I wouldn’t use it when I feel movement! I guess I am worrying about nothing but it’s true you cannot help it - there’s a little life in me that I have no control over at the moment but I cannot do anything but try and stay healthy and happy!
Everyone around me seems to be so much further along and i’m just trying to pressure myself and compare my pregnancy to them! I guess I have good days and bad days as i’m feeling a lot better today!

I’m not sure if I’m feeling movements?
Right now i’m laying on my side and it feels like I’ve got pressure in my belly on the side I’m laying on. And it’s like a bubble? Im

Need a bit of help? Will the GP check heartbeat for me? I’m getting more anxious as time goes on, boyfriends away and it’s not helping being on my own and not feeling a lot other that achey hips and back!?

I mirror what a lot of people are saying, I had literally no 'symptoms' until over 30 weeks, no nausea,sickness,headaches etc at all.

I have an anterior placenta which means that I didn't feel any movements at all until 26 weeks!
My line only started appearing around 23/24 weeks when I started getting a noticeable bump. Even at 30 weeks I was getting surprised looks from people when I said I was so far along as bump didn't really pop until 32 weeks.

Do not use a Doppler, it can be too easy to not hear the heartbeat by not knowing exactly where to put it, or, picking up your own heart beat and it giving false readings.

My gp never listened to babies heartbeat, only ever the midwifes.
I think if you have had so many scans and heard the heart beat twice you should be fine, but if you are really concerned then that's what the MAU is there for so give them a call.

@unicornchaser if I go to the doctor regarding the anxiety as it’s driving me mad, if im not busy i’m worrying and it’s impossible to keep constantly busy! Do you think the doctor might check if the equipments avaliable?
My midwife is impossible to get hold of, I messaged her on Sunday and haven’t heard anything back and i’m not due to see her until the 2nd of November and not due the scan until the 25th of October!
I’ve gone off the thought of the Doppler just in case I end up making myself worse but it’s the anxiety it’s honestly unbearable! The slightest things make my heart race and my mind wander like I keep seeing stuff on Facebook about still birth and miscarriage and it’s just sad!

Stop looking at Facebook for a while. Investigate some yoga classes in your area or go swimming.

To me, the most striking thing you said was For being 17 weeks I think I’ve already had 4 scans and listened to the heartbeat twice

This is way more than most healthy mums / babies have had by this stage, so you must take reassurance from all of that!

I felt no movement until 22 weeks and had almost zero symptoms either.

Update! I took myself to day care to get baby’s heart beat checked, not last Wednesday the one before, she was fine. I heard her kick the Doppler 3 times and the midwife asked if I could feel it... sadly - I couldn’t. Since i’ve felt little flicks only twice this week and nothing else. I’m now 19+2 should I mention to midwife, i think I felt her Monday or Tuesday night and Thursday early hours. Is it still normal to not feel a lot and it be so inconsistent?

I didn't feel movement until almost 23 weeks I think, also first pregnancy. They were inconsistent until about 28 weeks, I was told by multiple doctors and midwives that both of those things are normal.

I didn't get Linea Nigra until the last 5 or 6 weeks of my pregnancy...so around 34 or 35 weeks.

I didn't get morning sickness or nausea either. Every woman's pregnancy symptoms will vary.

@Firsttimetobe2019 I felt very similar to you.
First baby and I'm now 20 weeks. I THINK I'm feeling movements, but not really 100%.
I had my scan today (and was told it's completely normal not to feel movements strongly at this point). However, I felt one of the funny little movements during the scan, and the baby started rolling around 😂. So what I've been feeling is definitely baby ❤️.
I completely understand your anxiety. I can't wait to feel proper big kicks xx