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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Dealing with friends and family when overdue

33 replies

surreygirl1987 · 05/10/2018 22:18

I'm overdue by almost a week now and while I was frustrated at first, I'm accepting now that he'll arrive when he's ready or I may end up having an induction in a week or so.
However what I can't deal with is the constant stream of messages from my family and friends! I know they mean well and I know I should be grateful that they care, but it's all day every day and I feel so under pressure because of them! Some messages are identical daily 'No baby yet?' from the same person! It is really driving me mad and I'm starting to get annoyed which I know is totally irrational. I don't want to make a fuss over it so dont want to tell them it's annoying me, but any tips on dealing with this??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

rubyroot · 05/10/2018 22:33

Turn your phone off and ignore them. I had this, was two weeks late 😴

Goostacean · 05/10/2018 22:38

I did two things - made “hilarious” comments about how I’d OBVIOUSLY not forget to tell them, wouldn’t that be ridiculous, hahaBLOODYha! And also updated my social media every couple of days with whatever activity I was doing, we went pottery painting/for a walk to a local landmark/etc.

I reckon you should reply to the people asking repeatedly with something along the lines of “thanks for asking! Still no news, rest assured I won’t forget to tell you when baby arrives ;)” and then ignore them. Probably they’ll take your following silence as a sign something has happened, but just ignore ignore ignore and enjoy the calm before the storm! If you feel like it, in a few days if they’re still asking, reply again with “As I said, I’ll let you know. Just resting now before the birth so won’t be replying again. Hope you’re well.”

Flipping annoying, I feel for you.

GiraffeObsessedBaby · 05/10/2018 22:39

Just got to be blunt I'm afraid. I was 10 days late so definitely feel your pain. I think in the end I was so uncomfortable and fucked off I was sending really sarcastic responses like "hang on, let me check with dh just to be sure - no I have not pushed a small human out of my vagina yet!!!"

Goostacean · 05/10/2018 22:40

Also it’s not irrational to get annoyed. They’re displaying zero emotional intelligence, and I suspet intentionally so. Some people... 🙄

Bringonspring · 05/10/2018 22:42

I remember throwing my phone across the room at one point. Second time round I told people a due date two weeks later than actual date.

kikibo · 05/10/2018 22:44

Learn from this for next time and tell people you're due two weeks after your real due date. Only tell people the real date if they don't have form for this kind of thing and on tbe proviso they won't tell anyone.

Bliss.

RowenaDedalus · 05/10/2018 22:47

I’m getting this all the time. Only a few days over so far! God help me later into next week if I’m still pregnant and keep getting messages.
If I have another child I’m making up a different due date!

Sharkwithknees · 05/10/2018 22:50

God why do people do his? My friend recently had a baby after being overdue by 12 days. We spoke every day, but I specifically never asked her if the baby was here yet as I knew it would be driving her mad being asked 24/7! No advice really OP, other than take comfort in knowing your baby will be here very very soon!

Onlyfamandclosefknow · 05/10/2018 22:52

I feel really stupid I was one of those people. I was just trying to show I cared

Original poster

surreygirl1987 · 05/10/2018 22:52

Oh I'm DEFINITELY going to lie about my due date if I have another! By two.or three weeks! 😂 I only wish I did that for this one! They're almost taking it personally, as if I'm so overdue purely to keep them in suspense... they keep saying they can't bear the wait and to hurry up 🙈🙈🙈 almost like I'm expected to apologise! I can deal with it if it's just me and my husband but the others are making me feel like I'm somehow failing and it's really putting me on edge!

I'll feel mean not replying, especially to my mum, but it is tempting...

OP posts:

Original poster

surreygirl1987 · 05/10/2018 22:56

@onlyfam don't worry and don't feel stupid. I've probably been guilty of it myself at some point (although I'm sure I wasn't this bad!). I think it's something you don't realise until you're going through it. Even I'm surprised at how I feel and I do feel I'm reacting irrationally but I can't help it - every "baby?" text makes me tense up! Thank God my in laws aren't bothering me too.... maybe they're texting my husband each day but if they are he's keeping it.from me for which I am thankfula

OP posts:

Onlyfamandclosefknow · 05/10/2018 23:05

I'm infertile and a bit of an over compensator maybe. Less learned though!

Good luck and congrats!

Onlyfamandclosefknow · 05/10/2018 23:06

Not infertile- was struggling with infertility I meant.

MumToBe201910 · 05/10/2018 23:09

I feel your pain with this! I’m only 38+4 weeks and I’m sick of having the daily ‘had the baby yet’ text. I’m miserable as it is as I’m so uncomfortable! I just reply with the same text now - ‘Still p*** off and pregnant thanks’. I’m a lovely person really but being stuck in day in, day out and not being able to go anywhere isn’t fun!

Original poster

surreygirl1987 · 05/10/2018 23:22

@onlyfam I can understand that. I did something similar when I was struggling to conceive and I made a huge fuss over a friend's pregnancy announcement to try and deal with the fact I was upset over it. I must seem really ungrateful by moaning! I do feel guilty for feeling annoyed as I know they all mean well.

@mumtobe I know- being stuck in is the worst. It wouldn't be so bad if I had other friends in the area to meet up with but they're all at work during the day and all my NCT friends have already had their babies- I'm the last one!

OP posts:

JurassicAdventure · 05/10/2018 23:23

Turn your phone off. Or at least ignore all your messages. We didn't tell anyone that DD had been born for 4 days (then we just turned up to a party with her!)

DD was born 3 weeks early and I got loads of "have you had a baby yet?" Messages so I can only imagine how annoying they are!

(Almost there! I hope you're not too uncomfortable and can get some rest!)

JurassicAdventure · 05/10/2018 23:26

Or I replied with photos of progressively more ugly dolls like this one: goo.gl/images/To4tBe
With a comment like "doesn't she look just like her dad?"

MumToBe201910 · 05/10/2018 23:32

I’m the exact same with my friends too!

Tonight I just sat there and blubbered like a baby at the thought of spending more hours stuck in the house. My Mum and DH just blamed it on my hormones.. The classic line! It’s pretty much all I’ve heard through my pregnancy

Original poster

surreygirl1987 · 06/10/2018 09:30

@Jurassic thanks genuinely hilarious... am going to steal that idea from.you!! 😂

@mumtobe the crying was me Wednesday 🙈 I've become much more positive about it now and accepted it might be another week... but it's just the messages making me feel rubbish!

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Onlyfamandclosefknow · 06/10/2018 09:32

No not ungrateful at all! Of course we all need a moan sometimes!

Spilledmycoffee · 06/10/2018 10:11

I wad a week over, Ex's mom used to text multiple times a day "are you still fat?"

Apparently some people tell people the due month rather than exact date; I will be doing that if I have any more!

LadyOttoline · 06/10/2018 10:26

I was due on Monday and I entirely feel your pain! It seems some people without kids genuinely think your due date means your baby arrives on the day like an ASOS package.
One friend messaged me on Monday so I replied with ‘I’ll let you know when he arrives!’ The next day she texted ‘Any baby yet????’ I could have gladly throttled her!
I know it’s because people care and are excited that they keep asking, but agree with other posters that it can make you feel like a failure. I’m just not replying to anything now.
And I love the idea of telling people a due ‘month’ with no further detail - definitely doing this next time!

All the best to you all xx

LaCitrouille · 06/10/2018 19:40

Goostacean's tips worked for me. I was two weeks overdue, and the messages started one week before the due date. Needless to say I was feeling so down, heavy, unattractive, can't sleep at night AND have to stay polite when answering messages. So I had to post on my facebook and WhatsApp groups that I won't run away with my baby and I will inform everyone when they arrive. It worked with most, but you'll still have to deal with that one or two people

Original poster

surreygirl1987 · 07/10/2018 12:32

Argh... one of my friends has now resorted to sending me baby emoticons and a stream of question marks. She's given up actually using words! Not what I wanted to wake up to this morning! She's a lovely girl and so nice she's excited but I'm stressing enough as it is... 🙈

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Teakind · 07/10/2018 13:51

This drove me absolutely nuts when I was pregnant with my DD. People mean well but it’s an exhausting and emotional time. I remember getting irrationally annoyed when a lady from my NCT class who was due after me had her baby first. I didn’t think it was fair she’d jumped the queue : )

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