Partner will be sent home overnight

[CathyandHeathcliff]

I’m having a planned c section at Calderdale Royal hospital on the 17th.
I’ve been told my partner won’t be able to stay overnight and can only visit 8am-8pm.
I’m really scared as it’s my first baby and first c section (first surgery actually).
How will I lift the baby out and see to him?
I’ve also got severe anxiety. I’m getting really scared now.

I ended up with EMCS under general anesthetic, and because I didn't come round until after visiting hours had ended at 8pm, my DP was allowed to escort us to the door to the ward and then sent packing.

I also spent both nights in a room on my own (not sure how that happened) but we had 15 min obs the first night so plenty of help with nappies & feeding and I could manage OK on the second night.

TBH I liked those two nights just me and DS

Nobody thinks they should have a partner sleeping on the ward as they recover from some other surgery which leaves them equally incapacitated and vulnerable.
Probably because when recovering from any other surgery leaving you incapacitated and vulnerable, you are not also expected to care for a completely dependant newborn baby.

We really need to take back control of maternity wards for women and babies
And for some women, the control they would want is control of whether or not their partner stays with them, not for it to be dictated by the ward.

Since a pp said upthread that there was medical consensus that private rooms weren't safe post surgery I've been trying to find the arguments for that, but haven't managed to yet (although I've found plenty of really interesting research such as this report on an NHS hospital moving to all single room accommodation, one of the wards they looked at being a maternity one).

The hospital where I had my daughter had single rooms for almost all the adult wards, except ICU, HDU and (of course...) maternity. There will surely be postsurgical patients on lots of those wards in single rooms.

I expect that low staffing on postnatal wards is one big reason why single rooms aren’t considered safe. But we shouldn’t have to accept substandard levels of care just because our surgery included a baby surely!

I don’t love the idea of letting partners stay to make up for reduced staffing. Not everyone has an available, helpful partner to stay, and for a lot of women this would just mean still getting inadequate levels of staffing while now also having a man she doesn’t know from Adam sleeping twelve inches away from her and sharing the toilets and showers.

mostdays there are several reasons why non staff men in the maternity ward in the night is more of a problem than in the day. One is lower staffing levels and another is night being a vulnerable time because the lights are low and you are usually trying to sleep - people can stay awake 8am to 8pm but not 24/7 when in for several days and nights after a complicated delivery/ section.

The main problem is the fact that they are there round the clock. If they are there 8am to 8pm you can at least get more peace at night without double the number of adults in the room making noise, moving about, talking (any visitor of either sex is equally disruptive here and visitors of either sex need sending home overnight for these reasons), and you can be more relaxed about falling asleep or having your breasts out all the time establishing breast feeding for the 12 hours they aren't there. Curtains provide very little privacy and people stick their heads around them in an innocent but intrusive hunt for extra chairs.

All very valid points blueskies. I do still think the solution is single rooms so that the issues you describe aren't a problem, and women who really do want their partners there can have that support without it causing upset to women who really do not want overnight visitors around.

There simply isn't the staff to have single rooms - it's much harder to check the wellbeing of patients.

What women should be lobbying for - actually what we all should be lobbying for - is better post-partum care so that women and newborns are supported and have adequate care until they are discharged

There simply isn't the staff to have single rooms - it's much harder to check the wellbeing of patients.
I suspected the issue would come down to staffing.

What women should be lobbying for - actually what we all should be lobbying for - is better post-partum care so that women and newborns are supported and have adequate care until they are discharged
Yes, we should... but for me that would include adequate staffing to allow single rooms.

I'm on a post natal wars right now and oh my goodness i wish partners weren't allowed to stay!! I sent my dh home to get some proper sleep so he'll be more useful to me tomorrow, but most ladies have their partners here. They are snoring, talking loudly, and one couple opposite me is arguing. I totally get it's scary and I admit I am missing my husband but the midwives are a great support in the hospital I'm in and I can press a button if I need somebody to help me.
I must say though, that the post natal ward does seem to be some form of torture... it is SO noisy and people seem so inconsiderate of each other!