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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

First Time Mum To Be - C-Sec or Natural?

59 replies

Firsttimetobe2019 · 30/09/2018 23:14

Hello,

I’m still early days but i’m absolutely petrified about labour and what option to take!
I have a little while yet i’m 16+3 but I want as much information as possible! After being in a labour ward the other day following a scare, the amount of noise and pain these women sound like they’re in is petrifying! Also, a lot of family labour stories too have never been easy and have been very long winded... i’m OK with pain but have been put at high risk for pre-eclampsia.
Just after some advice and opinions really ladies, i’m only 19 - due in March but my anxiety’s in overdrive about it!

OP posts:

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artio0 · 01/10/2018 13:45

I'd recommend reading some books on Hypnobirthing, they really helped my labour anxiety (first time pregnant as well...)! I read one called 'Mindful Hypnobirthing' by Sophie Fletcher and downloaded the audio tracks that come with the books. The audio tracks were also great for falling asleep by the way.

It's not as out there as it sounds, it just tries to build your confidence in your own body and teaches you some thought strategies as well as relaxation and breathing techniques to support you through labour.

NotMadeByDesign · 01/10/2018 14:07

I have not done both, only natural, but c-sections aren’t failing like some would make others believe, nor is pain relief, hypno birthing is a good thing to look into, the baby has to come out some way, and you’ll be desperate to meet them so much by then you won’t care!
And not all vaginal births are traumatic, I tore with my first, it wasn’t pleasant but I imagine loads easier than recovering from a c-section. But apart from the tear it was pretty smooth, my second was fine, no tearing, very quick, I gave birth in the bathroom it was so fast!

Original poster

Firsttimetobe2019 · 01/10/2018 20:35

Thankyou Ladies!

It’s utterly petrifying and so exciting at the same time!
Pain relief is frowned upon I’m just worried about the judgement of using it! I think I’m too hands on for a c-sec but it’ll be easier in a sense and couldn’t be left able to do little upon the arrival of baby! I think I’m more scared of tearing or needing to be cut during a vaginal labour... I’ve had a tiny cut before from intercourse and even then it was agony and uncomfortable to urinate etc!
As many of you say i’ll have to see the circumstances closer to the time but I’m just after tips and information at the minute!

OP posts:

DorasBob · 01/10/2018 20:45

Is go for a natural birth every time.

A c-section is a major operation, and you are then expected to care for a tiny human immediately after! Agree if you are worried about pain go for an epidural.

Your abdominal muscles are precious! Don’t let them cut into them unless they have to. Also you shouldn’t really have more then 2 c-sections due to the risk of adhesions etc, so that might affect your decision if you wNt several children

LittleDoveLove · 01/10/2018 20:49

I am concerned about tearing, I already have enough issues down there with ibs and I also reacted badly to anaesthetic so I want a controlled environment nothing rushed. I'm also on the older side being 36 when I give birth. My hospital so far are really understanding and lovely when I said I am thinking I'll probably go for the elective section and reasons why I am leaning towards that. Haven't had one try and talk me out of anything yet.
I think you should do what's right for you and not concern yourself on what is and isn't frowned upon. I've never heard anyone say anything about pain relief being frowned upon, although to be honest I've not met one mum who has been pushy in any way one way or another - maybe I'm lucky!
What is best for the baby and you is unique to every individual and the circumstances around that. That's my view anyway. I've never been a a judgy person though and wouldn't dream of every making someone feel guilty for a personal choice. I am still going to do hypnobirthing and stuff like that just in case. Better to be prepared I feel for me! Best of luck :)

overagain · 01/10/2018 20:49

DorasBob my pelvic floor muscles are precious too, as are my nerves down there. Both are now completely fucked due to a vaginal birth. I was unable to care for my tiny human for a long time post birth.

Angelmiracle · 01/10/2018 20:50

@Firsttimetobe2019 I totally agree that there is so much pressure on women to not use pain relief. I felt it as a FTM. I got fully dilated and pushed for an hour and coped really well with only gas and air. However DS wasn't fully rotated and would not come out so I had to sign off on an EMCS which was fine but I was left for an hour while they changed over staff and prepped things- that was the most traumatic thing being left there with no pain relief and no break whatsoever between contractions.

I got into theatre and got a spinal block and it was absolute heaven I had renewed energy and was able to push while the registrar used forceps which worked to deliver DS. In hindsight I wish I wasn't so brave and asked for an epidural earlier on to help me cope towards the end.

This time if DC2 is not in a favourable position I will opt for an ELCS. If baby is engaged and good to go I will very gladly ask for an epidural.

Angelmiracle · 01/10/2018 20:52

Agreed @overagain I don't think anyone can say vaginal delivery is the only way to go if they haven't had a traumatic experience.

Wittow · 01/10/2018 20:59

if you don't have a natural birth you'll always wonder if you missed out on that euphoric moment.

DorasBob · 01/10/2018 21:01

If you are lucky enough to have a natural birth without pain relief it also puts things into perspective in the future.

E.g when you need to give blood - so what I’ve given birth!

When something feels hard: I’ve given birth, I can do this

Etc etc

overagain · 01/10/2018 21:01

Basically OP, a good vaginal birth is better than a good c section, a bad vaginal birth is worse than a good c section. A bad c section is akin to a bad vaginal birth, depending on the issues ecountered. Unfortunately you don't know until you do it what you'll get. But of my 8 NCT friends (+me), we had 6 bad vaginals of varying degrees and 2 good c sections.

overagain · 01/10/2018 21:02

Sorry, 5 bad vaginals, 1 good vaginal and 2 good c sections.

KitchenFloor · 01/10/2018 21:03

Another vote for hypnobirthing

overagain · 01/10/2018 21:05

DorasBob I actually really disagree with that. I had a vaginal birth without pain relief. It was horrific. It does not put things in to perspective for me. In fact, in does the opposite and I have anxiety and fear that anything could go as wrong and be as painful and horrific. There was no euphoric moment. There was pain, agony and injury.

DorasBob · 01/10/2018 21:11

Well, I had a natural birth without any pain relief, (epidural didn’t work!) and a second degree tear. Not what I’d planned, but a wonderful, empowering experience none the less. But then I’m a medic, and I had witnessed birth so had a good idea of what to expect.

That’s how I feel about it. You don’t have to agree, but doesn’t make my experience invalid. Giving birth was one of the most empowering experiences of my life, as I experienced pain and fear, came through the other side and brought a human into the world.

The OP is asking for opinions. Feel free to give yours, but don’t try and shout down mine.

FruitCider · 01/10/2018 21:29

Hi OP!

I had a high risk pregnancy and could have had a c-section or vaginal birth. I opted for induction at 38 weeks.

Before hand I was scared of tearing, scared of pain, scared of epidurals...

I ended up with a mild labial tear and an epidural! And I would do it all again for my DChild.

I also made a lot of noise despite the epidural... your body has an amazing mechanism called the "baby ejection reflex", which sounds like some kind of joke but it's actually real. I moo'd like a cow during transition all the way until my baby was out despite an epidural. Noise doesn't always equate to pain 😉

Darkstar4855 · 01/10/2018 21:31

I’m 38, FTM and have opted for vaginal birth.

I agree with a PP who said a straightforward vaginal birth is better than ELCS but ELCS is better than a complicated vaginal birth/instrumental/EMCS. The trouble is, you don’t know what you’re going to get unless you pick ELCS.

Personally I feel I’d rather take my chances and try for a vaginal birth. I am low risk and my local hospital has a lovely midwife-led birhing unit right next to labour ward. I’d rather avoid surgery if possible and I think I would feel more in control labouring and being able to move around than lying on a table for a CS. I like the idea of being able to recover more quickly and being able to drive quite soon afterwards. I wouldn’t hesitate to ask for an epidural if I needed one though, and if I end up having an emergency CS I won’t beat myself up over it.

Original poster

Firsttimetobe2019 · 01/10/2018 22:41

When you ladies say bad vaginal births what do you mean like tearing, complications - obviously i’m not expecting you to share if you don’t want too!

I’ve read online there’s ways to prevent tearing but I don’t know whether it’s a load of BS in all honesty!

I have a high maternal instinct with other people’s children so I can imagine it’d be heightened with my own! How does a bad vaginal birth effect your involvement if it has?

OP posts:

Bumpitybumper · 02/10/2018 05:31

@Wittow
if you don't have a natural birth you'll always wonder if you missed out on that euphoric moment.
I haven't had a natural birth and have never wondered this...

HoppingPavlova · 02/10/2018 06:02

There is no blanket answer for what you are asking.

I had natural births and suffered horrendous tearing and am left with various incontinence issues - baby had to end up exiting in a hurry and this way was deemed safer for the baby than the time to prep for a C-section and to try and fish them back up. The pain afterwards was indescribable, was on heavy duty painkillers, still cried in pain when sitting in the area and couldn’t walk properly for a month. Other people I know with natural births just popped them out and had no ill effects whatsoever, up and happily prancing around the next day.

I know some people who have had C-sections who found it fine, very little pain after and were back on their feet and feeling absolutely fine (just no heavy lifting) really quickly afterwards. I know of people who have had a C-section and have had no end of trouble at the time and have suffered troublesome after effects for years.

There is no ‘standard’ as such when giving birth. It will be different for every individual irrespective of the scenario. Birth is a lottery ........

discopisco · 02/10/2018 11:18

28 days post partum here. C-section any time. I'd done all the classes, went in super prepared, armed with a bullet proof birth plan, put into practice all my affirmations and positive birthing techniques. Then the contractions came. O. U. C. H. My baby's heartbeat fell in the end so I had an emergency c-section but regret not having requested it sooner- before I was shattered, battered and bruised. Any future babies will be elected c-sections. Forget the pressure to have a baby naturally, so long as there's a positive outcome in the end and both mummy and baby are fine, that's all that matters.

discopisco · 02/10/2018 11:21

Ps. Epidurals rule. They need to be selling that stuff on the streets!

overagain · 02/10/2018 11:41

When you ladies say bad vaginal births what do you mean

I will share both mine and a friends story if you wish. But I don't want to scare you. As a previous poster said, birth is a lottery and mine, r anyone else's experience is not indicative of what you will get.

Original poster

Firsttimetobe2019 · 02/10/2018 12:02

@overagain if you don’t mind?

I know every birth and every experience is different i’m just trying to wrap my head around the idea of squeezing a baby out it doesn’t seem natural even though we’re made to do it!
I probably sound mad

OP posts:

Scout1774 · 02/10/2018 12:18

"Pain relief is frowned upon"

Firstly, anybody who judges you for using pain relief is not somebody you want around. Secondly, you're about to have a child so get used to endless judgement and unsolicited advice. You need to develop a thick skin (I haven't even had the baby yet but being pregnant has taught me this!).

Thirdly nobody gives you a medal when you walk out the door if you do it without pain relief. Do what's right for you and the baby.

Urgh, the fact that women feel that pain relief is frowned upon makes me really angry... my NCT instructor was much more open than I expected her to be, and when others in my group were saying how they wanted to avoid an epidural she just said 'see how you feel at the time'...which is the right approach I think.

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