Want to know the sex Vs Dont want to know the sex

[RGPargy]

Bit of a dilema here.

This is my second pg and i really want to know the sex of the baby so that, if it's a girl, i can "prepare" myself for having a girl (i have a DS).

My DP however (this is his first child) doesn't want to know the sex of the baby because he wants it to be a surprise, although he knows exactly what i mean about preparing for a girl (he's got ideas of taking a little DS to footie, out fishing etc etc).

He said that he "did" have his heart set on not knowing the sex and now i feel a bit rotten about wanting to know. We agreed that we would get the sonographer to write it down and give it to me, but then DP said that if he knew i knew the sex, he would badger me til i spilled the beanz to him.

Shall i just not find out or find out and refuse to tell him with the possibility of it slipping out anyway?

never wanted to know, never did find out

tbh I would respect what your dp says

he really wants a surprise and it doenst much matter to you if you do or dont find out does it?

WE loved knowing that it was ds on his way. I think it helped me to think of him as a real person rather than a bump. It was lovely talking to him by his name before he was born. Luckily dh wanted to know too though so not a problem. We told other people but kept his name secret until the day he was born so we still had something to announce

Enid - yes, it does matter to me because if it is a girl, i will have to prepare myself mentally for having a girl and doing girly things, IYSWIM.

no you wont

its a baby

you will love your baby when it is born

if it is a girl she wont be bothered about doing girly things until she is about 3

so you'll have 3 years to prepare yourself

But i'd rather not have the feeling of slight disappointment if it turns out to be a girl!

ins't it funny. I was the same about having a boy. Needed to find out in advance in case he was a boy and I was disappointed on the day he was born. Seems ridiculous now, he's the best thing that ever happened to me.

I was the same as shopping and felt a bit sad when I found out I was having another boy, but I am completely besotted with him and bonded with him immediately. Wouldn't swap him for a pink one!!!

I have a fried who wanted to know and her DP didn't. She found out and thought for sure he would last for about three seconds before begging to know. But, he held out until the birth. They were both happy.

Personally I'd wait for a surprise if your DH keen to but let us know what you decide! I planned to do wait to find out but a doctor who I'd just clearly asked not to tell me put her foot in it by pointing at the scan and saying 'you can see her arm move'!!

if it helps - I desperately wanted to know, my dh didnt (i already have a dss, this is our first together). I went and had a scan to find out and didnt take dh as he still didnt want to know.

once dh knew I knew he couldnt stand it! his face when I handed him the envelope and he read the report was absolutely priceless - esp as it turned out we are having a girl! he was secretly convinced we were having a boy so am glad he found out in advance - less of a shock in the labour ward!

he definitely does not regret not knowing, and despite being a little unsure about her for the first couple of days is now proudly telling all and sundry how pleased he is!

I want to know, but want to keep it to myself. The theory is that after a 2 day labour(or worse), a surprise is prob the last thing I could do with...

Plus I want to bond and chat to the bump beforehand, although I'd better not get my hopes up as we can't be sure that they'll be able to tell at the scan.