snide remarks/nasty comments from people re:pregnant AGAIN!!!

[RoseQuartz]

Hi there,
Does anybody here have a large family? Was just wondering as dh and I are sick and tired of people poking their nose in and saying something totally ridiculous to us....some have gone as far as telling us we have enough children and should not have any more!! And the most often asked question is: are you going to have any more, or when's the next one due?!!!! It's about time you bought a new television!! Do you know what causes it!! Ever heard of birth control!! Flippin heck your husband must like being on his face!! DH is normally so calm, but one day at the local shop one woman really went under his nose.....she had a walking stick and she raised it and pointed it towards his manhood and said it needed chopping off! This was in front of a shop load of customers.....so dh got a bit annoyed and told her, its normal for people to have kids you know, not all women are like you, after all you've never had it have you!! He he, she was dead embarrassed and hasn't said a wrong word since!!aaaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhh their comments drive us both nuts, and we dread them finding out that I am expecting baby number SEVEN!!!Another comment is ' how many more are you going to have'? even the local midwife came round and told us somebody had asked her if we were going to have any more children? Anyway have any of you got some really 'shockingly good' answers that would knock anyone's socks off if (well no its not if, its WHEN)they dare say anything when it becomes common knowledge that I am pregnant again!! Please share them with us, the more disgusting they are then so much the better!!! thanks

But it's a stereotype isn't it? Unless someone told you the reason they had a lot of children was because of their religion then I think it's ridiculous to assume that's the reason.

Love domesticgrumpess's "Oh , we actually seem to quite like our children and enjoy having a nice big family, but it's nice you get the same kind of fulfillment from television."

Given that the Catholic family were at the same church as wheniamqueen, I think it's fair to assume that she's Catholic and I think it is relevant because the religious background means that Catholics tend (in general, statistically) to see large families as far more normal and unremarkable than the population as a whole does (for example, when I was growing up, in Catholic circles the question would be "are there just the four of you?" whereas in other contexts people would react as though it was a huuuuuuuuuuge family. My parents didn't have four children because my mother was Catholic, they had four children because they wanted four children, but there was much more acceptance of that decision as normal from Catholics so I think it is relevant and not necessarily stereotypical).

I was brought up Catholic and my children have attended a Catholic school. The majority of parents at the school that I know have 2 children. Some have 1 others 3 or perhaps 4. I have had all the 'you are mad', 'not again', 'was it an accident' comments from mothers at the school. We didn't have our 9 children because of religion. Like your parents we had them because we wanted them. While it might be a reason for some Catholics to have large families, I don't think it can be assumed that it is the reason for all or most Catholics. Surely it is referring to stereotype when someone can say about another person 'there's a
family of 7(catholics)" which seems to indicate that's why there are 7 of them. Unless this had been given as a reason then I don't see why it should be assumed.

Strict Catholics dont beleive in birth control, so big families = good catholics apparently

The family that i knew were quite strict Catholics, and i think that is why they had so many children esp as i think the mother was told after 4 that any more would be dangerous to her.

Afaik strict Catholics do believe in birth control, just not any methods that use hormones or artificial barriers. Natural Family Planning can be used. Although large families were encouraged in the past, I don't think it's necessarily so, today. The family at the church may just have liked having their children.

I guess that a lot of the comments come from the assumption as mentioned that big families must be on benefits etc - IMO if yo can support them and love them and look after them you can have as many as you want and good on you - I wouldn't be rude enough to comment if I didn't know you well though that is just bad manners..

My sister and bil have 6 kids and never claimed a penny benefits so I certainly don't make that assumption.

My mum was accused of having me in order to screw more child benefit (then called somthing else) out of the government (I'm the youngest of 4). Good job you're unlikely to encounter this particular 'lady'!!

I'm sooooo jealous! . I have 3 and am in seventh heaven. I'd like more but I'm 38 and have had 4 miscarriages and have decided to focus on what I've got rather than what I haven't, but I'm sooooo impressed. How incredibly amazingly wonderful. Good for you honey.

As for the comments I agree with those that feel its jealousy! Just because they've conformed to the boring norm doesn't mean that you should and whilst some of these comments have really made me laugh ultimately you shouldn't be letting these narrowed minded idiots get to you in any way whatsoever. Go for it.

I was an only child 'an only child is a lonely child' certainly applied to me. I've always craved a large close knit family, the traditional type.

I'm pregnant with number 4 and so far haven't received a single negative comment (whew). I'd love to keep going and have more but I'm 37 and it's certainly taking its toll on my body and health this time, which affects the amount of time and attention I can give to the others even with a 10 year gap between the 1st 2 and the 2nd 2.(which is brilliant by the way )

DH and I haven't made a firm decision not to have any more and probably won't until No. 4 has arrived and we see how the family gels together.

I know a lady who has 11 children - and she receives a lot of negative remarks both to her face and behind her back, which is a shame - it's their choice at the end of the day and sweet FA to do with anyone else!

thanks you lot, I shall bear that in mind and will be more than ready with the 'like for like' nasty comments next time anyone dares say anything we don't want to hear!!
It has to be said that most people are fine though, but the narrow minded ones are certainly not few and far between enough for my liking!!

I sympathise! We've only got 5 children but in my last pregnancy most people commented either'you must be mad/brave' which really annoyed me. No-one congratulates you when you've had lots of kids and are pregnant again. I got so cross I would say'No, we are really lucky aren't we?' And I was planning to say 'We love having kids - did your one/two put you off?' if someone was very rude.

With the mad/brave thing I always agreed with the person saying it

"Thanks for your feedback. Do you mind if I add it to a book I'm compiling on pregnancy putdowns?"

I'm a mum of four- 7, 4, 2 and 3 months( three boys and a girl). We received many negative comments from a whole range of people during my fourth pregnancy. The worst reaction was from my hubby's father.However, that's nothing compared to the looks and comments I get when I take them all out on my own. While they are this young I do feel we are something of a spectator sport. However I pretend to blank it out by getting even more busy with the kids and showing them all we are having too much fun to even notice.
All the best.