Smoking

[tamzinro]

I lose respect for any woman who makes no good attempt to stop smoking during pregnancy , an acquaintance has smoked all throughout her pregnancy and it drives me mad , she has made no attempt to stop as it will stress her out . Should be made illegal

So they know smoking whilst their pregnant is like breathing through a narrow straw for their baby ?

@OnlyFoolsnMothers omg !dont get me started on that !!!!

So they know smoking whilst their pregnant is like breathing through a narrow straw for their baby ?

Yes. It’s theie decision. Not one I approve of or would make myself but it’s their decision. This sort of sledgehammer thread attacking smokers will have no effect at all on levels of smoking in pregnancy.

@PurpleDaisies please look at some comments on some sites , the comments are laughable ... people really do not know the damage smoking can cause ... I know some people even think it's beneficial because they are less likely to become stressed ...

yes i love that line from smokers "the stress of giving up is more harmful to the baby than smoking"....what crap!

This is genuinely not a goady post but here goes

Having spent 27 months of the last four years of my life being pregnant I spent a lot of time in and out of hospital for various things.

I saw loads of women smoking. I met loads of them. I shared countless wards with them waddling in and out or postnatally too, even after c sections shuffling off.

I would say based on my experience the vast majority of the mothers that did this had difficult lives, often were alone or in volatile relationships, were low income and low education.

I think a lot of them didn’t even think about stopping or thr wider circumstances of their smoking, because their own mothers hadn’t etc.
I don’t think they were easily reached or converted to lots of things like breastfeeding, baby led weaning etc. But their babies will have had loads of clothes and toys.

As I say I don’t mean this in the least bit goady. I don’t think they are failing as mothers I think it’s like so many things in life the good intentions of middle class health professionals and people thinking some leaflets and free nicotine patches trumps the very real stresses and societal issues in the lives of a lot of women who happen to be pregnant and smoke

I stopped smoking when I was expecting my first and didn’t start again. But if I’d been in peer groups that were different, had a terrible life or a partner that didn’t care if I did it didn’t who knows?

Nobody is saying it’s right but that’s not the real issue.

I hope that you are very young OP.

@Eatmycheese I agree it is slightly a case of environmental factors , however , that makes me an exception to the norm ! I'm sure mothers can be reached somehow and hopefully this is a post that may make someone more determined or want to research on the internet the harm of smoking which they hadn't have done otherwise.

@Eatmycheese and social factors too ! I completely agree !

I'm sure mothers can be reached somehow and hopefully this is a post that may make someone more determined or want to research on the internet the harm of smoking which they hadn't have done otherwise

Well, OP, as someone who struggled to quit while pregnant I can safely say that your warm, understanding and clearly non-judgemental post is exactly what pregnant women need to encourage them to give up a heavily physiologically and psychologically addictive substance when they are already stressed and embarrassed about the difficulties they are going through trying to quit.

Thank you, truly and deeply, for your kind understanding and appreciation of the difficulties involved, and for taking the time to explain something no one has ever heard before

@Thurlow I really hope you have overcome your addiction , I went through hell with it too but a constant unselfish mentality did it for me . I am not you though ... but honestly hope you managed to quit

potteringalong is so right. You can’t make a legal thing illegal just because someone is pregnant. A woman should always have complete rights over her body whether theirs a foetus in there or not.

On a side note, after the first trimester I’d regularly have one unit of alcohol, carefully measured out and drunk slowly. It was a lovely de stresser and like that does not affect the foetus. I can’t imagine how hard it is to give up nicotine as I’m a non smoker but I know how people respond to stress and I don’t judge.

Are you alright, ducky?

Annoys me too I know someone who to be fair I already dislike so doesn’t help my judgement but she’s all over social media “I love this baby so much already” Bla bla but is still puffin away, I gave up its hard but how anyone carries on is beyond me

I think it's not your baby, not your business.

Would you feel the same if she were smoking an ecig?

no one really thinks snoking in pregnancy is beneficial because it makes you less stressed. Everyone knows the dangers

But when they encounter crap, simplistic attitudes like the OPs you probably help them to think fuck her and people like her and light up. The point is if women struggle to give to the less they smoke the better. You don’t want them to give up giving up because they think fuck it the damage is done

FWIW I do understand why women smoke in pregnancy. 9 months is a long time got your body to be public property, every action criticised and up for public debate

I went through hell with it too but a constant unselfish mentality did it for me

You were disgustingly selfish to start smoking in the first place though. Did you not care about the children who get nicotine poisoning and sometimes die due to picking tobacco? Is it only your own child you care about?

She knows, you know? She hates herself for it. She knows that she’s damaging the things she loves most. You’ve written this post as if it doesn’t occur to people! Addiction thrives on self doubt and self loathing. Remember that next time you attack her.

Ok , maybe I'm being very insensitive , I don't want to cause any distress to anyone

I know a lot of you think it's total BS when women say 'oh the stress of of quitting is worse for the baby than smoking' which tbh it is, but I don't think it's an excuse they're making up to justify them smoking or a belief that just comes out of nowhere. My midwife genuinely told me something similar!

I quit smoking when I was pregnant, I didn't just wake up one morning as a non smoker, it was a gradual process but by the 12 weeks scan I was completely smoke free. When I went to the booking appointment with my midwife I was still smoking 1 cigarette a day, I spoke to my midwife about this, told her I was struggling to cut out that cigarette, she reccomended nicorette gum (which worked) but she also said something along these lines 'one cigarette a day isn't ideal, but it isn't the end of the world, if it's going to be very stressful for you to stop completely, then I wouldn't worry about 1 cigarette a day.' And that is the honest truth! In so many words that is exactly what she told me! Of course I wanted to quit from day one, and I'd came so far already by that point so I went the whole way and quit completely, if something had been wrong with the baby at least I would know I'd done everything within my power to ensure they were healthy, in the end I was very fortunate to have a perfectly healthy baby girl and I felt very proud that I'd managed to quit for her and glad that I did it for myself aswell.

Interestingly when I was about 5 months pregnant and going away on holiday, that same midwife had advised that I could have one or two small glasses of wine spread over that week, she said it was generally ok in the second trimester as long as it wasn't a regular thing and only one or two units on a special occasion. This was the advice in 2015, so hardly the dark ages..

However, I am 9 weeks pregnant now. Had my booking appointment with the midwife on Friday, and she seemed to have a completely different stance, she said absolutely no alcohol at any time! Seemed very hardline on what I should and should not be eating, and much more strict in general. I just thought good god I'm glad I don't smoke anymore or I'd have been in big trouble 🙈 Totally different experience, It could be that a lot has changed in 3 years or maybe it just depends on the midwife?

I think smoking of any kind ecigs or fags and drinking alcohol should be illegal when pregnant but that's not gunna stop people from doing it, look at all the drugs that are illegal,it doesn't stop them doing it.
It's only 9 months that you have to give it up for, I don't think that's too much to ask for your wee bundle of joy

I read that back and it sounds like I'm saying that whole 'stress is worse for the baby than smoking' is something I believe. Just to confirm, I absolutely do not believe that, I was actually saying that yes I do agree that it is BS, IFYSWIM? Sorry if it wasn't that clear

Momma22 no they have changed that advice now just as you say and they do those breath tests to see if you are smoking.
They didn’t do any of that with my first one some with the second but no alcohol at all advice came Witt the third

@Meganc559 totally get where you're coming from, and I agree. However I don't think it's that black and white. Saying it should be made illegal is a very extreme view, another poster had made the point that by making it illegal you are giving rights to unborn child and reducing the rights of the mother which could be very problematic for abortion law.

Interestingly I live in Northern Ireland where abortion is illegal in all cases (including rape/incest and fatal fetal abnormality) the only exception is when the life of the mother is at risk. As someone who was born and raised in England and is staunchly pro-choice, I think a lot of my friends, colleagues and neighbors might have a completely different view on just what rights an unborn child should be afforded. If abortion is illegal over here I think smoking in pregnancy could absolutely be made illegal here if there was a referendum proposing it.

Surprised at how many people on this thread have a 'so what' attitude to smoking when pregnant