Hi,
I'm incredibly anxious, worried and ashamed, and was hoping for some advice or reassurance. This was an incredibly difficult post to write so please try and be gentle.
I've been taking over the counter low dose co-codamol (8/500) for around four years to treat chronic migraines/severe headaches. About a year ago I realised I was becoming an addict as I would take upwards of 10 tablets a day even if I didn't really have a headache. I must admit I craved the chilled out feeling they gave me. I decided to cut down and gradually over a few months I weaned myself down to 4 or 5 tablets a day. This was actually relatively easy and I didn't really experience withdrawal (aside from getting headaches, otherwise I felt fine).
In June I discovered I was pregnant. I did some research on the effects of codeine during pregnancy and found very conflicting advice. Some sources said it was okay and I saw many posts from women who took it in pregnancy and delivered healthy babies, others said it could cause birth defects such as heart problems and spina bifida! I was absolutely horrified and ashamed and still am 
I decided then that I would stop taking co-codamol, but also worried about potential effects of going cold turkey/withdrawal on my pregnancy, so have cut down on the co-codamol even further but not yet stopped completely. I'm now 17 weeks pregnant and take 2, sometimes 3 8/500 tablets a day. However, on days where I've gotten horrific headaches and nothing else has worked, I've given in and taken up to 5. Again, I've not experienced any serious withdrawal symptoms and am planning to cut down even further. My ultimate goal is of course to be completely off them well before baby is born.
I've already noticed that the withdrawal headaches I used to get have vastly improved. When I first started cutting down, I would get a headache if I went more than 6 hours without taking a tablet, but now I can easily go 18 hours without taking any and feel absolutely fine.
I am proud of the progress I've made but I'm utterly terrified of the potential harm I've already done to my baby. All scans and tests done so far have shown a completely healthy perfect baby and I've started to feel movements in the past week or so, but obviously some problems aren't picked up until the 20 week scan. I've got my 20 week scan next month and I'm absolutely terrified they'll tell me my baby has a heart defect/spina bifida/some other horrible illness and it'll have been completely my fault I've even sat and cried about it.
I've not told my midwife or any healthcare professional about my codeine use as I'm so ashamed and worried they'll look down on me/won't think I'll be a good parent.
Has anyone else taken co-codamol in pregnancy and their babies been fine? I've read quite a few posts from women who were actually prescribed co-codamol when they were pregnant and took higher doses than I am, which makes me think it can't be THAT harmful, but then I read another post or article about neonatal withdrawal and the shame and guilt comes flooding back. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance.
I feel like such a shitty mother and my baby hasn't even been born yet.