Pregnant and addicted to co-codamol. Have cut down significantly but am worried I've already harmed baby

[CaptainUnderpants96]

Hi,

I'm incredibly anxious, worried and ashamed, and was hoping for some advice or reassurance. This was an incredibly difficult post to write so please try and be gentle.

I've been taking over the counter low dose co-codamol (8/500) for around four years to treat chronic migraines/severe headaches. About a year ago I realised I was becoming an addict as I would take upwards of 10 tablets a day even if I didn't really have a headache. I must admit I craved the chilled out feeling they gave me. I decided to cut down and gradually over a few months I weaned myself down to 4 or 5 tablets a day. This was actually relatively easy and I didn't really experience withdrawal (aside from getting headaches, otherwise I felt fine).

In June I discovered I was pregnant. I did some research on the effects of codeine during pregnancy and found very conflicting advice. Some sources said it was okay and I saw many posts from women who took it in pregnancy and delivered healthy babies, others said it could cause birth defects such as heart problems and spina bifida! I was absolutely horrified and ashamed and still am

I decided then that I would stop taking co-codamol, but also worried about potential effects of going cold turkey/withdrawal on my pregnancy, so have cut down on the co-codamol even further but not yet stopped completely. I'm now 17 weeks pregnant and take 2, sometimes 3 8/500 tablets a day. However, on days where I've gotten horrific headaches and nothing else has worked, I've given in and taken up to 5. Again, I've not experienced any serious withdrawal symptoms and am planning to cut down even further. My ultimate goal is of course to be completely off them well before baby is born.

I've already noticed that the withdrawal headaches I used to get have vastly improved. When I first started cutting down, I would get a headache if I went more than 6 hours without taking a tablet, but now I can easily go 18 hours without taking any and feel absolutely fine.

I am proud of the progress I've made but I'm utterly terrified of the potential harm I've already done to my baby. All scans and tests done so far have shown a completely healthy perfect baby and I've started to feel movements in the past week or so, but obviously some problems aren't picked up until the 20 week scan. I've got my 20 week scan next month and I'm absolutely terrified they'll tell me my baby has a heart defect/spina bifida/some other horrible illness and it'll have been completely my fault I've even sat and cried about it.

I've not told my midwife or any healthcare professional about my codeine use as I'm so ashamed and worried they'll look down on me/won't think I'll be a good parent.

Has anyone else taken co-codamol in pregnancy and their babies been fine? I've read quite a few posts from women who were actually prescribed co-codamol when they were pregnant and took higher doses than I am, which makes me think it can't be THAT harmful, but then I read another post or article about neonatal withdrawal and the shame and guilt comes flooding back. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance.

I feel like such a shitty mother and my baby hasn't even been born yet.

Thanks again @pomfluff. Yes, from most of the stuff I have read it doesn't APPEAR to cause birth defects and like I said, I've read posts from women who took way more co-codamol at way stronger doses than I did whilst pregnant (like 200+ mg a day) and their babies were fine. That doesn't mean my situation is good though and I should still stop as it can't be great for my health even if baby is okay.

Hi all,

Woke up with a fairly bad headache this morning but instead of taking co-codamol I took some paracetamol and drank some Coke and my headache has now gone! So perhaps my addiction is more caffeine than codeine. Obviously too much caffeine isn't good in pregnancy either but I feel like this is progress.

Well done. Maybe knock the paracetamol on the head too and just have the caffeine. I was prescribed co-codamol in pregnancy and dd was fine. It was in larger doses too due to pelvic pain as I was on crutches with the pain. Well done for taking control.

Thank you @should, it is very reassuring that your baby was fine. I just hope I've knocked the codeine on the head early enough to prevent my baby coming to any harm.

I’m not medical at all, but I spent months on neonatal and children’s wards when my youngest was born.
I inevitably saw and overheard things as I became part of the furniture.
I’d say nurses do NOT judge patients who seek help managing their addictions during pregnancy, however they do (amongst themselves - not in front of the family afaik) judge mothers who despite being asked to disclose any substance addiction issues in pregnancy, - with assurances of confidential support, don’t do so. Their babies not only suffer breathing difficulties, but I gather the team need to know they’ve had exposure to opiates in the womb to judge analgesia. Babies exposed to opiates in utero need different/ greater amounts of painkillers when undergoing painful procedures and nurses and doctors find it very upsetting when a baby shows clear signs of distress and shock during or after a procedure and it turns out that Mum did not disclose an issue. I’ve heard the aftermath of that, angry tearful nurses being comforted by colleagues after working on babies going through this sort of thing. The thing they kept saying was that they couldn’t understand why they’d put their babies through that pain when they’d been assured confidentiality and support and they’d just lied to their midwives.
I’m sure your midwife will respond very supportively and with inward relief when you confide in her. You’ve already made such good progress I’m sure you’ll both be fine but you mustn’t put your fear of judgment before the well-being of your baby and keep it a secret.

I think if you are honest with your midwife now and get the support for both you and your baby they will see you as a mother trying to do her best for the baby.

If you Don't mention it and baby is born showing signs of distress or withdrawal and they find out the cause I would think SS would become involved to get to the bottom of your addiction and what else could be involved. When I was in special care with my youngest there was a mother in their whos baby was suffering from opiate withdrawal, it was awful to see and social services were involved but baby still went home with the parents (with SS keeping tabs also I assume).

Well done for getting to this point. Please do tell your midwife or gp- they might well be able to get you the professional help you need.

Agree it's unlikely that it has harmed your baby baby but the more help you can get now to get you off the stuff the better.

Well done so far. You need as pps day to be honest with the midwife. Think of it as one of your 12 or whatever steps to being drug free.
It’s been mentioned but I would add do remember to be careful of Panadol. You cannot go over the limits, you do not want to live life with irreversible liver damage.

For goodness sake you need medical oversight and immediately. Nobody will take your baby away but you could be minimising the harm caused if you take proper medical advice instead of doctor google.

Tell your midwife. I can assure you, it will go down a lot worse if it comes out later on.

Hi there! I'm a midwife and just want to echo what many posters have said, please, please tell your midwife. You have done so well to cut down and should be proud of that. You will not be judged as a bad mother! It is so important both for you and baby that your full medication history is known. You will get the right support and care from your midwife if your history is known, without judgement. I've cared for and delivered women addicted to most things and all I ever want is to give them the best care I possibly can. I don't judge them, I care for them. It is so much easier to do my job in the best way I can when I know the full history. Please don't be afraid that you will be judged. Talk to your midwife and don't be afraid.

Thank you everyone. I also posted this on another forum and got quite angry responses ('I'd give anything to be pregnant and you're doing this!', 'You're irresponsible!'). It's nothing I didn't expect and I can totally understand their anger, but it has really upset me and only increased my guilt.

It's now been over 24 hours since I last took any codeine (the longest I've gone for months) and, aside from a headache, I feel fine.

I have a midwife appointment on Saturday (that was the earliest she could fit me in unfortunately). I am utterly utterly terrified to tell her and have convinced myself she will get social services involved and my baby will be taken off me, but maybe that's what I deserve for being so irresponsible. I am truly truly sorry for any upset I have caused anyone and wish I could turn back time. I just hope my baby hasn't been harmed as I wouldn't be able to forgive myself

I really doubt social services would consider removing your baby - they are strongly motivated to keep families together and you’ve already demonstrated you’re on the way to kicking your addiction.

Can you leave w message for your midwife before the appointment saying you’re seeing her because you’re addicted to painkillers? That way you can’t get ‘stage fright’ in your appointment, and she may have a chance to get any useful resources together for you.

No point feeling guilty or us judging you - what will that achieve? Every point in continuing to move towards a healthier pregnancy because that’ll be good for you and baby.

Let us know how you get on.

Please speak to your midwife. You’ve done really well to cut down so much but why go the rest of the way alone? Your midwife can provide help and support, and set your mind at rest. You will probably feel better once it’s out in the open and you don’t feel you have to keep hiding things. Nobody is going to take your baby away or lock you up!

Honestly, I hand on heart swear they won't take your baby away for this.

Thank you everyone. I've started getting a fairly bad headache and normally at this point I'd reach for the co-codamol, but now I'm determined not to. I've been chugging water and sipping Coke instead and it is actually helping. I'm beginning to suspect a big part of my addiction is the caffeine in the tablets as well as the codeine, as the headache I've got is very similar to the sharp, behind-the-eyes pressure of a caffeine withdrawal headache.

Aside from that I actually feel fine and more positive than I have all day.

Being a parent is about putting baby first- which you are doing your best to.
All services- midwives, gps, social services will want to support you to be best parent you can- whilst you are co-operating, engaging and doing this they will be in your corner. The difficulty would be if you were not engaging.
I’m not a social worker but I can’t see any grounds for removing a baby from you.
Hang in there- sounds like you are doing an amazing job.
Is your partner helping and supportive?

@Cant, thank you. Yes, he is being very supportive and my main motivation (aside from baby).

Funnily enough now that I've drunk a ton of water my headache has massively improved. I'm hoping this will continue but I'm prepared for the headache to return at some point!

Will he help you tell the midwives? It maybe easier for him to start the conversation, and you answer questions?
Be kind to yourself- we are all just trying (and sometimes struggling) to do our best.

I was prescribed codeine in pregnancy for SPD, took it daily from around 19 weeks. I had to start cutting down from about week 30 and they asked that I don’t take any 4 weeks onwards before due date - to avoid baby been born suffering from withdrawals and in case of breathing problems.

You have done so well to realise you have a problem and to cut down this much, please speak with your MW, they will be able to arrange any additional checks that may be needed during pregnancy x

I really don't know. I feel like it would be a big positive step for me if I got the conversation started, but maybe if he gets the ball rolling I won't be quite so terrified!

Yes, admitting the issue could be helpful to you- maybe he can break the ice by saying you have something to ask about? Then you give specifics? Or if you haven’t managed to bring it up after 10 mins he steps in? You know you need to get it out there- and you will.
You told us, and it didn’t work out terribly?
There is help out there. I had mental health issues in pregnancy. Everyone I managed to tell stood by me.

That's amazing progress!! It honestly sounds a lot like caffeine withdrawal headaches which are easier to manage with things that are safe in pregnancy. I think true codeine withdrawal would be far more unpleasant than that if you already went 24 hours without.

Thank you @Pomfluff. Yeah, I was terrified of potential withdrawal symptoms but haven't experienced any aside from a niggly headache. I have been a bit irritable too but that could be caffeine withdrawal as well.

I'm waiting in anticipation for more unpleasant symptoms to appear though

Hi all, just updating you.

It's now been 48 hours without any codeine and I feel fine! I had quite a bad headache last night but after a good night's sleep it's gone.

I'm just hoping I stopped in time for baby.