Feeling very overwhelmed right now

[captainshortie]

So I think im in the middle of a hormonal breakdown and my OH thinks im crazy BUT

My mam took me to mothercare today for the first time and i just got so overwhelmed at seeing everything in person and how much it all is.

Dont get me wrong I wasnt naive to the prices and know babies are expensive but why do they only show the proper expensive stuff??? I mean pram/car seats for £750, cot beds for £500, bottle starter packs for £70!
By myself im not able to afford much of it, and my mam said shed buy the pram etc but am I letting her spend too much? She mentioned the finance option but Id never get credit and just dont want her to think I cant do this. I feel like such a failure.

Im 16+4 and just totally dont feel like im going to be ready.

Im now in tears at anything, why are hormones so horrible, ive never cried so much in my life
Please tell me im not alone

Pregnancy hormones are terrible. And mothercare is v expensive so don't limit yourself to shopping there. You can get much better deals online, and think about secondhand stuff too - other than car seats and mattresses, secondhand is absolutely fine especially as babies grow so fast that people often sell on very lightly used stuff.

You are not alone. Hormones are horrible. And yes, you will cry at everything.

Mothercare is expensive. Try kiddicare? Primark? EBay, eBay, eBay.

I paid 400 for pram travel system. You can get them cheaper. You don't need to buy everything new.

Forget bottles. Breastfeeding is practically free.

Take some time. There is no rush. Make a list of what you NEED. Start looking around for deals or second hand.

A little baby needs love and little else. Good luck x

Mothercare is an absolute rip! Most of babies essentials can be purchased second hand like prams, car seats and cots from EBay or Facebook marketplace, get your mattress from Ikea and your bottles from Asda (they usually have offers on).

I know it seems overwhelming, but don't let Mothercare's overpricing put you off.

Mothercare is expensive, I found the exact same mamas and papas pram on an amazon store for nearly £300 cheaper and was delivered within days. Also got a mam bottle starter-set £18 cheaper on amazon prime day than it was in mothercare, definitely look around online , you can get much better deals , it can be overwhelming though, just remember you need a lot less than these stores will have you thinking you need x

Mothercare is expensive and there's nothing wrong with getting a lot of the stuff second hand!! My cot was £30 and is beautiful

I got my cot from Ikea and my mattress from eBay. Second-hand toys and some second-hand clothes. Bedding was new from Aldi in their baby events and b&m. Free travel system from a friend who didn't need it anymore.

If you’re only 16 weeks now you have loads of time, I don’t think I paid full price for anything. I either bought new in a deal or second hand. I got my pram, a next to me crib and a perfect prep all second hand, which alone probably saved me about £300. I bought multi packs of Sainsburys baby clothes when they were 25% off. Tesco has a baby event where I got lots of nappies, wipes and my bottles half price. Also the “baby events” get run regularly so they could happen 2 or 3 more times before your due date.

Have a look on Facebook for a babies & kids buying and selling group in your area... there's a few around me with loads of people selling stuff on second hand for a bargain, and the nearly new sales run by NCT etc advertise there as well.

I'm not so good at the hand-holding bit, but hang in there, it's going to be okay :) xxx

There are ways to cut costs. I got the majority of baby stuff from eBay, including a brand new Silver Cross travel system (unwanted gift) a monitor (damaged box, but new, perfect condition) and a cotbed (new, with a tiny scratch on one of the legs) all less than half the RRP. Create some alerts and keep your eyes peeled.

Sign up to alerts for baby events at supermarkets etc. Lots of discounts.

Don't fall into the panicked trap of needing absolutely everything purchased and ready before baby arrives, a lot of things can be bought at a later date to spread the cost too.

Consider breastfeeding too, then you don't have to worry about the cost of bottles/formula (but respect this is your choice)

It is overwhelming. You're creating a human! But, you can do this. We all can!

Mothercare is expensive but they have deals on quite a lot. I got the cotbed for £150. Make a list of what you need and keep an eye out for bargains. I got tomee tipee prep machine for £50 which is the cheapest brand new I saw it just by checking things on a regular basis.

Our travel system was £300 overall, it was half price online. Next2me was about £150 on Amazon. Got a half price bottle set on amazon. It really isn’t necessary to buy everything in mothercare, shop around.

Sales, sales, sales! Sign up to Bounty online, they send almost daily offers. Boots baby club, Tesco baby club, Aptamil etc in case you want vouchers for follow on or formula later (they creepily track your due date and send you relevant vouchers at eg 6 months old).

DON’T PANIC! Definitely doesn’t need to be anywhere as expensive as Mothercare seems. Can you shop in the January sales, if you’re only 16 weeks...?

I wouldn't have dreamed of buying full price stuff from Mothercare, the one local to me is an an outlet so that's not too bad if you drop on but the main store is ridiculously priced. The only thing I got from there was my pram and that's because it was in a bundle offer with car seat, changing bag etc for £444.

Someone gave me their Mamas and Papas cot and I scoured Facebook Marketplace and Gumtree to get the matching dresser and wardrobe . Took a few weeks to find local as usually collection only but I managed to get them for £110 altogether. They're as good as new and a fraction of the cost new. People regularly sell full sets for cheap so it's worth a look.

Try not to stress, not everything needs to Instagram perfect. All babies need is a warm place to sleep, love and milk xx

Facebook marketplace. We bought nothing new for our little one and she knows no different. They are in stuff for such a short space of time.

Everything in Mothorcare seems to be between 20%-50% more then anywhere else. I just bought a car seat base that was £55 cheaper on Amazon then in mothercare. Bottles and steriliser were over £20 cheaper perfect prep that was reduced in mothercare was still half the price on amazon.

Honestly it's no wonder they are struggling andnits alomost exploitative the way they make you feel like you need all these extras and then charge more for it! Stick with amazon and supermarkets especially when baby events are on if you want to buy things new. Alternatively Facebook marketplace, eBay and the nearly new mum sales are brilliant for second ha d bargains. Most of DS baby toys have come from charity shops for a fraction of the price they would be new.

Don’t panic! Loads of cheaper pram and car seat options. Joie are a decent brand for being fewer ‘frills’ not over priced good quality car seats/pushchair/travel system. Buy a couple of nice outfits then get on ebay/facebook marketplace/car boot for bundles of basics clothes. I just typed cotbed into google and the first hit was £76 from precious little one. And with it turning into a bed will last a lot longer.

I agree with all PPS I'm only 7 weeks but when the time comes I fully intend on buying a bugaboo frame second hand just adding my own new car seat and carrycot , Moses baskets brand new on gumtree etc . Don't panic . I was in my own with my 1st and broke ass poor and I mean BROKE . This was 2005, and there was no apps or deals etc . I found a way back then so you're gonna be just fine. As long as that baby has a full belly and it's mama everything will be a -ok.

Agree with previous posts 100%. Facebook marketplace, eBay, gumtree. Also check out mum2mum markets (Google for.your local one), mums sell second hand everything at these, some of the clothes are in mint condition and cheap as chips. Also, you don't need everything at once, a moses basket will do you for the first 6 months THEN you can think about a cot (also got a second hand moses basket for a tenner from mum2mum!)

You can get almost everything second hand. We did and it's gorgeous. Just get a new car seat and a new cot mattress.
And yes yo breastfeeding being free - brilliant and no formula to pay out for weekly too.

Omg thank you for all the lovely comments!! In tears again!! 😂 i just feel I had a plan for how I wanted to be during pregnancy and its not working out that way.
Thank you ladies, its good to know the tricks etc and that I can always come here for a moan xoxxo

Pram/Buggy - £140 for second hand Bugaboo
Car seat - £80ish from Mothercare (bought in an emergency as baby came early)
Side sleeper cot (Bednest) - Hired for £80 for 6 months
Moses Basket - £10 charity shop
Bouncer chair - We were given one but also bought a second one for £10 of Shpock
Clothes - We just bought baby grows, vests and cardigans as thats all baby needs for a while. Other people will buy you cute little outfits (that will be worn once then sent to the charity shop). You can save loads here by buying in the sales, or on ebay or just by shopping at Primark/Asda instead of Mothercare.
Toys - Baby won't need for a while so we got a couple of cute things but other people bought us stuff. Also managed to get a big bundle on eBay for 99p that was collection only.
Ikea cot for after 6 months - £25 from eBay
High Chair - £7.50 from eBay

You don't have to get everything new or full price :) If you have relatives that knit, ask them for blankets/hats and cardigans for gifts so you save money there and have super cute knitted things to wrap baby up in.

Agree with the others around breastfeeding. A tube of lanolin nipple cream will cost a few quid and its handy to have a few bras you can feed in (bralets are the best that you can just pull down). You don't need any special nursing tops, you can just wear a vest under a regular top so you can pull the vest down and the outer layer pulls up. Breastfeeding is probably harder than formula feeding in the first few weeks but after about 6 weeks its much easier and more convenient.

Also when you want to start reading to baby you can get them a library account. Kids don't get fined for late returns which is handy. The libraries round here also do free baby sessions that you can just drop in at when you fancy. Get the 'Hoop' app and you should be able to find some free things to go along to.

Find and join your local NCT group on Facebook and check if they have a nearly new sale. I've not been to one but friends have and they are supposed to be very good.

OP I had exactly the same reaction when I went into a baby shop for the first time. It was nothing to do with how much things cost - I was basically freaking out because it was all getting a bit too "real".

DH had suggested we take a look at a few things as we were passing the front door on our way to lunch. I lasted about five minutes before hissing, "We need to leave - now!" I was completely overwhelmed and he was very confused!

When I was 7-8 months, nesting instincts kicked in and suddenly I'd need to be dragged OUT of anywhere selling baby stuff. It just took time to get my head around the fact there was a baby on the way!

Personally we have a wooden Mamas and Papas cot / changing unit and wardrobe which my 3.5 yr old and 2yr old still uses) - It cost £100 from eBay in excellent condition obviously we bouncer new mattress.

Check out Maxi Cosi official outlet store they often have new Maxi Cosi Pebble infant car seats for around £100. You don't need the fancy base they are easy to fit with a belt and you shouldn't keep baby in them long anyway.

Moses baskets are pretty cheap anyway.

Newborn clothes buy minimal as everything will buy you newborn or 0-3 months clothes as gifts

We are due no 3 and I have sold so much 'stuff' we had an never really used I've even sold the buggy / carrycot as I always wore baby in stretchy wrap.

Baby stuff is so so so expensive and certain things don't hold there value.

As long as you have new mattresses and new car seats there is nothing wrong with taking advantage of buying second hand locally.