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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Feeling very overwhelmed right now

33 replies

captainshortie · 25/08/2018 21:30

So I think im in the middle of a hormonal breakdown and my OH thinks im crazy BUT

My mam took me to mothercare today for the first time and i just got so overwhelmed at seeing everything in person and how much it all is.

Dont get me wrong I wasnt naive to the prices and know babies are expensive but why do they only show the proper expensive stuff??? I mean pram/car seats for £750, cot beds for £500, bottle starter packs for £70!
By myself im not able to afford much of it, and my mam said shed buy the pram etc but am I letting her spend too much? She mentioned the finance option but Id never get credit and just dont want her to think I cant do this. I feel like such a failure.

Im 16+4 and just totally dont feel like im going to be ready.

Im now in tears at anything, why are hormones so horrible, ive never cried so much in my life Sad
Please tell me im not alone

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MaverickSnoopy · 26/08/2018 09:02

Pregnancy is hard. It brings a huge array of emotions about many things. It's not a wonder you felt like that, especially as it's your first, you want everything to be right.

With our first, second hand never even occurred to me. I felt enormous pressure to buy everything going too. We were gifted and cot, crib and buggy so were very lucky. Then I think everything else was brand new, but the cost was mind blowing and gradually friends with children would say "check out ebay" or such like. So I did.

With our second we just reused everything from the first time around. The only extra was a better breastpump (as I had trouble feeding the first time).

Currently pregnant with our third and due to a smaller age gap between 2&3 I have bought a few things. Double buggy (£140 from marketplace RRP £1k), buggy board with saddle (£30 from marketplace RRP £90) & a second monitor (£30 from marketplace RRP £100).

Marketplace, eBay, NCT & local Facebook selling groups are your friends here. You only NEED to buy a mattress and car seat brand new. Of course if you want to you can buy more new but shop around. Mothercare is expensive. Kiddicare is much cheaper and there are other places too. Of course second hand isn't always cheaper so keep an eye out on sales too.

Don't get swept up in buying everything new, there really is no need as babies grow so quickly.

snowone · 26/08/2018 11:22

Hi OP, please don't be overwhelmed! You really don't need half of the stuff they try to make you think you do! Have a look on Facebook for your local buy and sell sites, I sold loads of my old stuff on there after I had DD and it was all in really good condition. I'm currently pregnant with number 2 and will be using these sites to kit myself out again as DD is now 4 and we have gotten rid of most of it. For example I was looking at a silver cross travel system (frame, carry cot, pram and car seat) which looked in excellent condition and it was £280 Ono which I think is really good value. You really don't need brand new everything. Good luck Smile

Thamantha · 26/08/2018 12:41

I would recommend keeping an eye on your local freecycle as well.
I'm 18 weeks and so far have managed to get a second hand changing table, kids wardrobe, cloth nappies, bottles, muslins, and 0-3 month clothes from freecycle.

If you have friends who have had babies they are often willing to loan items they are no longer using. I'm borrowing a moses basket, slings, next to me bed, have acquired a full cot bed and just been offered a loan of a perfect prep machine.

So far i haven't bought anything for the baby, but the cost of maternity clothes is enough to scare me (i need smart work clothes). I'm mostly looking on ebay but have bought tights/leggings from Asda.

I'm in a really lucky position, but i have also been making an effort to ask others if they have anything i could borrow.

StarfishSandwich · 26/08/2018 14:24

Pushchair - our biggest purchase £250 for an off-road running buggy (bought it online at a massive reduction but it did mean we had to wait a while for it) which we can in theory use until he grows out of it with a £130 carrycot extension. You can easily pick these up secondhand for much cheaper too. We live in the country and are very active so decided a proper off road buggy was more important than a travel system which would barely get used.

Baby carriers - £50 for a secondhand, very good condition Tula with newborn insert and £20 for a never used Hoppediz wrap sling.

Car seat - £140 on a Joie Every Stage which would in theory last until he was completely out of car/booster seats and rear-faces until 4. My car is too old for isofix so that wasn’t a consideration for us. We may upgrade once we buy a new car but I’m pretty thrilled with the seat currently.

Nappies - Have spent approximately £250 on cloth nappies of various styles and sizes which should last us all the way through to potty training and for any future children or can be resold if well looked after. We’ll also be using cloth wipes which are included in this expense.

Cot - £79 on a John Lewis cot which we altered to be a co-sleeping cot and approx £40 on a lovely mattress which was in sale. Neighbour has given us a toddler bed she was getting rid of. If we want to transition baby into a cot in his own room before he’s ready for the toddler bed, we can buy a secondhand cot and keep the mattress.

Daytime naps - Got a box and mattress from babybox university for free (£6.99 postage I think?). My mum bought us a Poddle Pod for £50. We’ll see which he prefers.

Clothes - Have been buying bits and bobs new and second hand in sales, supermarkets etc. In various sizes throughout my pregnancy. Have probably spent £100ish. We’ve already had loads of gifts - can’t stop people knitting blankets and cardis! So I’m waiting to see what extras we might need once he’s here.

Changing bag - £30 Amazon. Would happily have used s nice rucksack I already owned if I had one.

I’m planning to breastfeed so will buy any feeding paraphernalia as and when we need it. It’s readily available in supermarkets and pharmacies so don’t feel like we need anything in advance ‘just in case’.

You honestly don’t need to spend a fortune! I reckon we could have saved an extra £300ish if we’d bought our pushchair and cot (not mattress) secondhand, and if I hadn’t gone completely mental on nappies 😬 but they’ll still save us in the long run!

bsbabas · 26/08/2018 14:31

Tk max has some lush baby stuff don't forget to get your baby pack from boots getting your milk and anything else from boots normally racks up the points to spend on what you want also saw lots of decent baby toiletries in poundland.

mintich · 26/08/2018 14:59

I cried the first time I went baby shopping!! I definitely recommend looking at Facebook marketplace

backstreetboysareback · 26/08/2018 16:14

Oh bless you it can be so intimidating.

I'm having baby no3
This time we are splashing out on a nice pram but i will breastfeed, I have a Nuna leaf from dd I will reuse and my friend is giving us her Moses basket as it's still lovely and she borrowed our leaf so we have saved each other money.
I'm not worrying about a cot for now as baby will be in the Moses basket when born so it won't be needed immediately but if we can afford it I would like to get a crib that would allow us to cosleep.
We got a car seat from mamas and papas cybex heavily discounted as ex display. I will either belt it in or get an isofix base off eBay/fb marketplace.
Things like high chairs ect I'm not even thinking about as we won't need them as a newborn. Haven't thought about clothes either as people buy so many.

With DD I reused the pram and then ended up buying a bugaboo bee off eBay for £70. This was 3 1/2 years ago. It has been used heavily. It's been to Disneyland with us and camping many times. I'll be sad when new pram comes in a way it's still immaculate and I've loved it.
I reused ds cotbed and Moses basket, I don't think there was anything we bought new for her other than the Nuna leaf. Oh actually her car seat and isofix base I used Emmas diary vouchers and got another ex display from mamas and papas. Cybex again cost me £60

With ds family gifted Moses basket, Mum bought pram and cotbed was a mamas and papas one off eBay for £51.

It's so doable and don't feel like everything has to be brand new. As long as it's from a smoke free /pet free home chances are it's not been used. Somebody bought dd a swing that was lovely and had all kinds of features and she hated it, she screamed whenever we tried it, when I sold it it had maybe been used about ten times for about 3 minutes.

backstreetboysareback · 26/08/2018 16:16

Also what starfish said. I have dds cloth nappies which are immaculate ready for new baby when he or she arrives so they are a good investment. We use gnappies

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