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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding advice

40 replies

Katy96 · 02/08/2018 17:57

Hi, I’m a first time mum due in October and plan to breastfeed.

I’m wanting advice because I don’t feel comfortable breastfeeding in public so would it benefit me to express milk too to use on days out etc? I was about to buy a breast pump but not sure if I’ll be able to do both so thought I’d get a bit of advice first.

Do babies happily switch from breast to bottles easily? Also thought it would be nice if my boyfriend is able to give the baby some of his feeds so he gets to experience feeding him too.

Any advice is appreciated 😊

OP posts:

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MamOfFrankie · 02/08/2018 18:00

It all depends on your LO. Mine would not entertain the idea of bottles, despite buying about 8 different bottles and tears to try. However, we didn't try her with bottles until she was at least 6 weeks old, so that might have had something to do with it.

My mum fed my little brother a mix of breast and bottle and he was fine with it. I think the key is probably starting early.

RainRainGoAwayy · 02/08/2018 18:03

DS would never take a bottle. I ended up buying a bebe au lait nursing cover.

Life saver!

Bobbiepin · 02/08/2018 18:08

Obviously it is down to you and what you feel comfortable with but there's no reason to be embarrassed. I was a bit nervous about feeding in public but if you get bf well established first, so baby will latch easily its much easier. A couple of good nursing tops makes the process so discreet too. You definitely feel less exposed - the amount of times I fed DD in public and people assumed she was asleep and having a cuddle.

To answer your question though, try to establish bf properly first before introducing a bottle. Don't buy loads of bottles, as PP have said, babies often try a few differrnt types before finding one that works. Don't waste your money. MAM bottles worked best for us and I've been told that madela pumps are the best but I never used them, so much time and effort to pump!! Good luck!

Emmafh3 · 02/08/2018 22:21

I attempted pumping and feeding a bottle so the other half could have some bonding time. Tbh, waaayyy to time consuming to even prep a bottle
Dd didn't have a clue what to do with it but bf like a champ. She didn't have dummies either so any plastic nipples she thought was just a chew toy...
Pumping I really struggled with too, it just hurt and took too long
I got over bf in public quickly. It was either I feed my baby or you move on and I still feed my screaming bundle of joy... 😉
Used to do it shopping, pushing the trolly in one hand
That's what our bodies are made for. Not purely sexual stimuli.

I'd recommend getting a second hand pump (ebay is amazing), you can sterilise all the bits that need to be sterilised, just in case. And getting a bottle in as early as you're comfortable with to get dc used to it

AssassinatedBeauty · 02/08/2018 22:26

The thing is that if you go out for the day and don't breastfeed, you will become very uncomfortably engorged with milk within a few hours, depending on how often you are breastfeeding. So you would need to find somewhere whilst out to express in order to relieve that.

It's also worth mentioning that very many family friendly places will offer a breastfeeding room specifically for mums who are uncomfortable feeding out and about. Shops also have these e.g. John Lewis, Boots and so on. Once you get used to feeding you may well find that your confidence grows and you get used to feeding when out and about. Mostly people don't even notice that you're feeding.

Bobbiepin · 02/08/2018 22:28

Not to push, obviously your choice but pumping and bottle feeding is taking on the worst parts of ff (sterilizing bottles, taking more stuff out with you, getting it to the right temp etc) and losing the best parts of bf. When DD was bf, I took out nappies, wipes, a spare baby grow and a muslin. When she was ff the bag tripled in size, as did the work!

Original poster

Katy96 · 02/08/2018 22:38

Thank you all for your comments. I think from this I’ll hold off from buying a pump at first and see how I get on without. I think that I’ve just thought about it so much I’ve started to make it seem like a big thing in my head but at the end of the day my baby will need feeding and when it comes to it I probably won’t think twice about it!

OP posts:

chloechloe · 02/08/2018 22:42

I understand you being reluctant to BF in public - I think most mums feel the same at first. But I think you’ll be making life unnecessarily difficult for yourself.

Many BF babies won’t take a bottle. Expressing takes a huge amount of time to get a small amount of milk, even using a hospital grade pump. You may well need several sessions to get enough for one bottle. Small babies often feed every 2 hours or so, so if you’re out and about for a few hours you might need several bottles worth. Equally you might take a bottle of hard fought for expressed milk with you, only for the baby to sleep in the pram the whole time you’re out meaning you have to thow it away. If baby starts fussing while you’re out, a quick BF is often the easiest way to calm them. The beauty of BFing is that it makes life much easier - you just grab your bag and go, rather than having to worry about taking bottles with you.

I say all this as somebody who expressed for 12 weeks with DD1 simply as i was desperate to BF but she couldn’t latch on. It made me realise that mixed feeding with expressed milk really is the worst of both worlds as it takes a huge amount of time.

As for bonding, there are plenty of ways for dads to bond without giving a bottle - changing nappies, winding, bath time, settling to sleep.

You’ll find as well that most people will tend to look away from a BFing mother rather than gawping. Once you have the first few excursions behind you it will get much easier.

haribosmarties · 02/08/2018 22:47

It can be very hard to pump milk at first as your milk takes time to come in properly.

Its best to feed on demand for the first month or so with your newborn actually sucking... rather than pumping because your supply will get established and will cater to the times your baby actually wants milk. When the milk is coming in you can get very painful engorged breasts if you are missing feeds at certain times. It does settle down after a few months however...

I did manage to pump after the first month but I still got very sore hard breasts if I missed feeds.... so even if we had been out and id tried to use a bottle my breasts would have still leaked or swelled up painfully.
I went away for a night at around one month having left my husband with pumped milk... and overnight I leaked milk all over myself at the times I would have normally fed! and my breasts got really hard... you have to still pump at the times you would feed or at least at regular intervals anyway to stop the milk leaking and your breasts becoming hard etc.... so it would be a lot of work when out and about... youd have to find somewhere to pump and so you may as well find somewhere to discreetly breastfeed!

Lots of shopping centres and shops now days have breastfeeding rooms/spaces with a comfy chair you can sit in away from people staring.

You may find though that if you dont want to publicly breastfeeding but you are still determined to use breastmilk exclusively, that you will have to just stay in a lot in the first couple of months while your supply sorts itself out!

Id try out feeding covers and things if you can.... you may feel more confident to feed outside than you think in the end
I thought id feel embarrassed but when it came down to it I never did and ive fed pretty much everywhere. My boobs are very strange as well.... one is very much bigger than the other and I have these giant areolas!! Im embarrassed even wearing a swimsuit... but for some reason when I had my baby I was able to just do it without being anxious... I think maybe I was just so tired to begin with that I just didnt care... wanted to feed the baby quickly and efficiantly and that sometimes meant whacking a boob out in public.... then I just got really used to it

TheExhausted · 02/08/2018 22:49

When DS was very little I wore tops like this whilst I got to grips with breastfeeding and found them very discreet. www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/tops/maternity-green-wrap-front-nursing-t-shirt/p/534844935?comp=PDP-Color-Swatch

InDubiousBattle · 02/08/2018 22:50

Before I had dc I had only seen close family bf. I had never seen anyone bf out and about, in cafés etc. Now I see women bf all of the time. Of course they were there doing it before it just wasn't on my radar, it isn't on most people's radar. If people do see they mainly don't care! I didn't bf my first baby when out at all, just in dedicated bf rooms. I bf dd everywhere and it was much easier. Honestly most people don't even notice and those that do either give you a smile or pretend they haven't.

LRL2017 · 02/08/2018 22:51

I felt exactly the same as you and I used to be filled with dread going out at first and use to time around feeds so I could be home. I just used a big crocheted blanket that my mum made for me to cover up. Now 11 months down the line I don't bat an eyelid at doing it (still cover up though). I found expressing to much faff and my little girl would most of the time refuse the bottle anyway.

Gastonimo · 02/08/2018 22:54

First time mum here and I had exactly the same fears as you.
I really struggled to get DS to latch and ended up using nipple shields for the first three months so breastfeeding in public was always a worry having to faff about sticking them in the right places.
I just used a big wrap which covered us completely whilst I fiddled about getting him on and once he was on it was fine.
Fortunately I don't need them anymore and am really comfortable breastfeeding anywhere as noone even notices. The odd occasion someone has given me funny looks it's usually that they've looked and realised I'm feeding and then felt embarrassed that they've looked so hard so look away! I've never had any negative comments.
Once you get past the tough bits of breastfeeding in the early weeks it's so much easier. Join some baby groups and you'll find lots of mums happily sitting their feeding which gives you a confidence boost.

chardonm · 02/08/2018 22:54

Breastfeeding in public at first can be a bit daunting at first. For a few weeks I didn't want to go out because of the prospect. I bought a cover from amazon that has a metal wire so you can see your baby, latching etc and it was a game changer. It gave me the confidence to go out and do it in public. Now sometimes I don't even use the cover if I'm in a relatively quiet place like a parc or a cafe with just a few women in. Highly highly recommend getting a cover for those first few outings.

Thissameearth · 02/08/2018 22:55

Hi I agree with what others have said re pumping and bottle feeding being worst of both worlds, enforcement, bottle refusers etc. I found reading out in public quite nerve wracking first few times which I didn’t expect, thought I’d be fine! But I wouldn’t really bother now though I try to show as little as possible as mine is almost ten months and likes to pop on and off and stand up and wriggle about so can be pretty exposed. It’s no big deal if anyone sees anything but all things being equal I’d rather not if not too much trouble. I would recommend looking at things like www.milkyteecompany.com and b shirts. H and m do cheap nursing tops too which are pretty decent and keep you pretty covered. There’s a Facebook group called CIBII (can I breastfeed in it) which is member based and gives loads and loads of suggestions for bf’ing clothes but not necessarily specific nursing clothes - so one up one down (pull one top up to feed and the other down so chest and tummy covered, button up tops, blouses, wrap tops etc). Good luck

Thissameearth · 02/08/2018 22:56

Um feeding not reading - I don’t ever find reading out in public nerve wracking!

Bobbiepin · 02/08/2018 23:00

at the end of the day my baby will need feeding and when it comes to it I probably won’t think twice about it!

This. All day long. Don't overthink it.

mamaiFifi · 02/08/2018 23:03

Sorry for hyjacking the thread but -
Mamas who bf did you buy a steriliser?
I had one for my dd i ended up having to give a high calorie top up every evening, hoping that isnt the case this time do
You think its worth buying one?

chardonm · 02/08/2018 23:10

Mama - no don't buy a sterilizer - large pot of boiling water is enough. I bought one and it was a complete waste of money - I'm still finding my large pot more efficient!

Thissameearth · 02/08/2018 23:23

I bought steam steriliser - it was cheap and I thought it would have been value for the little money spent on it...if my baby had ever taken a bottle of expressed milk . It takes up room on counter though so if space is an issue then it’s a negative. I’m used it handful of times several months ago, well my husband did. Put through dishwasher then put in steriliser, press one button and mins later all done and in a little rack to dry once lift lid off.

InDubiousBattle · 02/08/2018 23:26

I was given a steam steriliser (one you put in the microwave )and it was great. You can get them very cheaply and we used our for both babies as couldn't ebf ds and didn't want to ebf dd. Also used it for dummies. You could just use a pan and water as pp suggests, hot dishwasher would probably be fine for ebm or cold sterilising for once in a while sterilising. If you're need it regularly then I would recommend a microwave one.

Astrid2 · 02/08/2018 23:46

My baby is 17 weeks old and I've managed to avoid feeding in public so far. I have massive breasts and can't use normal BF position so it's very indiscreet for me.

I tend to offer a feed right before I leave the house so that usually gives me 2-3 hours before the next feed. I also keep a pillow and muslin in the car and feed before I leave somewhere or nip out up the car for 10 mins if needs must.

I also always have a large muslin in my changing bag in case o really have no choice so I can cover up. I can't comfortably do it without a cushion but can manage!

boodles101 · 03/08/2018 06:23

I felt exactly the same. I had never seen anyone else breastfeed either, all of my friends had used formula and I was terrified of someone commenting negatively. I found a little coffee shop in town that I visited regularly- even when pregnant, just to get familiar with the place & staff. Then when baby arrived, I took him on my own so there was zero pressure from anyone. It was mid morning on a working day so barely anyone around and I just decided to go for it. I covered up with a muslin and it was great. I felt so proud of myself and then never looked back! And I honestly never had a single person give me a bad comment.

Bobbiepin · 03/08/2018 08:40

I had a microwave sterilizer but once we got mam bottles it wasn't used.

WhirlingTurkey · 03/08/2018 08:45

What are your specific concerns about BF in public? We may be able to help. :-)

In my experience pumping is hard work, annoying, faffy, and it isn't generally advised for at least the first six weeks (until milk supply has settled) as it can cause an oversupply if you are feeding on demand and then pumping on top. Some women can't pump as they don't respond to the pump so can't remove any milk with it (despite having plenty of milk for the baby). Finding time to pump when feeding a newborn is also a challenge as they feed LOTS and also want to be at the breast for comfort too.

That said, some mum's do make it work, so you can try if you are adamant about it, but I'd maybe wait until baby is here and see how you feel before buying a pump.

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