Breastfeeding advice

[Katy96]

Hi, I’m a first time mum due in October and plan to breastfeed.

I’m wanting advice because I don’t feel comfortable breastfeeding in public so would it benefit me to express milk too to use on days out etc? I was about to buy a breast pump but not sure if I’ll be able to do both so thought I’d get a bit of advice first.

Do babies happily switch from breast to bottles easily? Also thought it would be nice if my boyfriend is able to give the baby some of his feeds so he gets to experience feeding him too.

Any advice is appreciated 😊

I thought I'd be far to embarrassed to breastfeed in public but honestly it didn't bother me when it came to it. I am very discreet, I find a quiet corner and get on with it. I've never had a negative look or comment, only friendly smiles and nods.

@WhirlingTurkey to be completely honest I don’t actually know! I don’t like Facebook or use it but I know there’s a lot of stuff on social media recently about breastfeeding and mums getting abuse in public for doing it or getting asked to leave places. I know that it’s completely natural but I’m worried about other people and if I’m going to get things said to me if I fed my baby in public.

Also feeling extremely uncomfortable with the changes my body is going through and I don’t think I’ll have the confidence to do it, even the thought of feeding around my boyfriend and family is making me worry - definitely overthought the whole thing to the point where it now seems like a big deal in my head but I know I do want to breastfeed!

I'd try not to worry about it all too much until baby is here, easier said than done I know, but worrying won't get you anywhere right now. You may feel totally different once you start feeding (or you may not) but only time will tell. It's natural to be apprehensive about something so new, that you have never done before. There are ways to feed in front of people and show little to no flesh. The "one up / one down" method for example, where you wear a vest top under a looser top, pull the vest down and the looser top up and there is literally nothing showing. Although equally if you do find you want to be on your own to feed then that's fine (although obviously a little limiting that begin with). You could try a nursing cover too, although I always think they tend to draw more attention to the situation and not all babies like being covered.

Regarding negative reactions to BF in public, while I am absolutely sure they do happen sometimes, I firmly believe that they are few and far between. I have been breastfeeding (quite openly) in public for over two years and have never had a negative experience. I think a couple of times I've noticed someone staring, but they didn't say anything and I just ignored it. I'm feeding a toddler now (more 'frowned upon' than feeding a baby based on what the media says) and people don't react / say anything.
While I think it's important to talk about negative reactions, and challenge them, I do think the media is skewed towards the horror stories of women treated rudely for feeding. You won't ever get a news story where a women was a approached and someone mentions that it's "lovely to see a baby being breastfed" which is what has happened to me if anyone has ever approached me.

Anyway, I'm rambling - try not to put too much pressure and expectation on yourself right now. Once your baby is here you will know more how you feel about it all. Those first weeks are a blur and hard (but also lovely!) and you will probably find you just do what you need to and go from there.

Get yourself the nursing apron (Amazon) with the bendy ribs so that you can see what your doing. Second time Mum here and I wish they had it for my first. It's amazing and so empowering. Can eat out with friends and have baby nestled at breast easily and can handle my breast in position so baby can get a good latch.

I wouldn't worry OP. I am not hugely comfortable feeding in public but there are ways to help - using a cover, discreet nursing tops, using parent feeding rooms, feeding in the car (with air con on in summer or heaters in winter this is imo one of the best places), finding bf friendly cafes and restaurants (essentially anywhere that provides high chairs and kids menus is not going to mind a breastfeeding baby), feeding just before leaving home if it's a relatively short trip, feeding in a sling (although I never figured this out personally)...there are lots of ways you will find to make the experience comfortable for you. Good luck!

OP do what you need to whether it's a nursing top or a cover or just going for it. Everyone is different.

If you can get a few feeding tops they really helped me in the 1st few months. They allow you to feed so discreetly. I got jojo maman Bebe striped ones from eBay. I also felt a little self conscious of feeding in public at 1st, but you get so used to it after a while. In 15 months of feeding I fed anywhere and everywhere you can think of and I only ever had a few comments and they were positive, including a free cuppa in a cafe as I was feeding (run by men which surprised me!) People either don’t notice or don’t mind you feeding a baby and remember you are protected by law if you do have the bad luck to encounter any rude idiots. I would advise against pumping regularly unless you have to as it’s a faff and you could get engorged if you miss a feed. I personally found leaking boobs more annoying than feeding in public. Good luck!

@thissameearth - I had a popper offer and it turned out this was due to a hearing problem I hadn't noticed. My DC passed the 9 month hearing check but I just had an inkling that was down to luck rather than hearing so I got it checked. It was easily treated and led to a far chattier LO and far less flashing of my breasts to random cafe goers.

@letsmakeacake thanks but no hearing issues or concerns, she hears and tracks the smallest sounds and is very vocal etc. It’s more just needing to see what’s going on. Everyone in my antenatal group is same at this stage, babies too curious and inquisitive to sit and feed I think it’s pretty common.

@thissameearth - that's good to hear.

I was nervous during the early days with my little one but they are a year now and I've never had a negative experience. Everyone when out has been lovely, I even had a young male Costa server offer me water which was sweet. I think for me, the thought was way worse than the reality. You'll be surprised how little people notice/care :-)

For practicality, I wear a vest then a baggy top over the top. Then I pull the vest down and the top up. That way my stomach is covered by the vest and my upper chest by the top. To get my courage up I used to breastfeed in front of a mirror, you really cannot see anything! I personally find if I use a Muslim or cover it just draws even more attention to myself.

I second finding good changing rooms in your local area. John Lewis, boots, Debenhams etc tend to have great spaces you can feed in which I often use when I'm feeling less confident.

I never bothered with pumps and bottles.
Strongly recommend investing in some sort of cover up for when you're out and about. I struggled with for a few months with a scarf before spending about a tenner on a cover up from Amazon. The one I got was made my Knuddelstuff. Small and super easy to put on.

If you do decide to use Facebook there's an amazing group called 'can I breastfeed in it'. People post lots of outfits that are breastfeeding friendly. It's great at normalising breastfeeding (and finding fab outfits). A very supportive group of people.

Honestly my advice would be to take you and baby off somewhere comfy (like your bedroom) while you establish feeding until you are 100% confident. I know people say that you should feel comfortable or shouldn't have to move etc but this was the best thing for me whilst establish bf. I had my space and all the time I needed and didn't give a 2nd thought to whoever happened to be in my living room.

To start with in the hospital I used to send DH out while i fed because it was all too much getting her settled and latched whilst he was there. Obviously that got easier and it even got to the point where I fed, eating lunch in a restaurant sitting next to my DFIL. In the end I only refused to feed in front of my husband's grandfather as he insisted on making creepy comments so I took DD off into another room and enjoyed some time away from the in laws

Do whatever you need to make yourself comfortable.

Mine wouldn't take a bottle, but pumping is such a faff, and I took to it well! I'd just use formula if you don't want to breastfeed in public.

Personally I found breastfeeding in public fine, but when faced with a hungry baby I found my maternal instincts kicked in and no one would stop me giving him what he needed!

Look up the one up one down dressing method for discrete feeding in public, many, many, times I had people coming up to me to take a look at baby and not realise I was feeding!