Can I ask some brutal elcs questions?

[Paraketamol]

I have my first meeting with the consultant coming up and had a midwife appointment today (absolute none issue with blood results) and it was the awful one I saw 5 weeks ago; she had another go at me about my desire for an elcs as it’s my first.
I’ve explained on here about my reasons - I’m confident in myself about my reasons.
The midwife basically told me I was going for the easy option and I had no idea how horrible it will be. I tried to ask questions about how horrible it will be but she said I was working myself up.

I came home in a state and wrote myself a jumbled list of the things I don’t know. I have no-one to talk to about this, hence I’m here!

Ok here goes....

1. If I have to go into hospital on the day only the elcs can my DH stay with me?

1. Say I have the baby at 8pm and visiting ends at 8pm, does DH get kicked out?

1. Is it possible to have baby one day and be out the next?

1. Catheters and post labour bleeding - my friend who delivered vaginally recommended Tena lady incontinence knicks for straight after both for a few days - could those work with a catheter fitted... how long does the catheter stay in? do I wear the knicks down to theatre? Does the bleeding start straight away?

1. What happens if I go into labour early... do I go to the elcs hospital or the midwife lead unit?

1. If I’m stuck in bed because of the spinal/first few hours after the elcs etc will someone help me change baby/feed baby? I will be formula feeding.

Thank you for reading this essay! As you can probably tell, I have anxiety issues and am feeling quite lost and terrified, DH is trying to be supportive but he doesn’t know the answers either. I am however, going to be pro-active and request not to see this midwife again; I don’t get her and I don’t think she gets me.

Your husband can stay
Visiting parents depend on hospital and if you are on a ward or side room other mums don't want men there
You have a pad under you so no kickers required - nurses will change this for you
Knickers are removed for section
If you laboir early it may be too late for a section depending on babies position etc
Yes nurses are on had becaus eyou can't move for 24 hours
Will have legs like tree truncks due to the medication
They give you a rope ladder to help you sit up
I was in Friday out Sunday night

It's not pleasant

I’ve had an ELCS, by maternal request. I’ll do my best to answer your questions but somethings may differ as I went private precisely to avoid the midwife guilt trip you’ve described.

1. DH came to hospital with me, was there whilst we waited (not long in my case as it was booked for the morning), was there in theatre, recovery and once we transferred to my room. He could have stayed overnight on a guest bed in my room but didn’t as the cats needed to be fed.

2. As above, he was allowed to stay and there were no visiting hours as such.

3. I stayed 3 nights as included in my ‘package’. I had no post-op complications so could have happily gone home after 2.

4. You only wear the gown and surgical stockings to theatre, they will put a pad there but no underwear which was fine as you won’t exactly be moving. I had the catheter out that night and just used regular always pads in high waisted knickers (because of the scar). The bleeding was light and I had no need of the maternity pads or incontenance products.

5. Can’t answer that as I didn’t labour early and in my case it would have been to call the consultant on his mobile.

6. You will definitely be stuck in bed for the first few feeds and nappy changes. DH did the nappies, can’t remember who actually fed the bottle. The midwife was also happy to help and show us what to do. I didn’t do a nappy until the next morning though as DD went with the midwife so I could sleep.

Good luck with your request, it was definitely the right decision for me and I’d do the same again if I have another.

Hi your body, your decision.

I had an Elcs with my third child after two natural births. I had her at 12 on the monday, came home on the tuesday afternoon.

Husband can stay the night if you wish and can help, if not midwifes will help.

My catheter came out about 10hours after.

Up to that point i had a giant pad under me no knickers, midwife changed them as checking on blood as this will start after baby born,

If you go into labour I'd suggest going to hospital where your section is booked, of course you would ring and speak to them first so they know you're coming.

I just wore a gown to theatre and the special socks.

Anything else please feel free to ask, my elcs was completely relaxed,

Take the painkillers after as it does hurt when the spinal wears off BUT so does natural birth!

I suffer with anxiety too and was terrified beforehand so i understand x

Depends on the hospital. My hospital allowed DH to attend the c-section and stay with me on the ward for my full stay (though they wouldn’t feed him and he had to sleep in a chair). I was in for 48 hours (and could have been discharged after 24 hours but I chose to stay for additional breastfeeding support).

Bleeding started immediately after birth. The catheter stayed in from the time of surgery (late afternoon) till the following morning. The catheter empties into a bag so you don’t need incontinence pads. As soon as it was removed I had normal bladder function. Obviously you do need pads for the bleeding.

Nobody was available to help with the baby. Not even when I was in bed still numb from the chest down and unable to get up. My birth partner was expected to help me. When my birth partner popped home I buzzed for help and was told it isn’t their job to look after my baby I have to do it myself.

You won’t neccessarily be immobile for very long. I could move well before I was out of theatre and they hauled me out of bed to walk a few hours later.

Catheter stayed in overnight I think at my request - I had very severe SPD and was in more pain with that than the wound but I wasn’t very mobile.

Look up the rcog guidelines for cs vs vb and stand your ground. No HCP should be giving you a hard time over your choice. It’s your body and your right to choose an elcs.

Take it easy when you come home - it is rare to be home the next day and don’t overdo it, you will set your recovery back of you do.

1 and 2
DH stayed with me while we waited to yo to theatre then was with me the whole time during and after and onto the ward. He could stay all night though I sent him home because there was no point. My first baby they couldn't stay overnight though so may depend on hospital... they won't kick him out straight away though if visiting hours ended. You are highly unlikely to have baby at 8pm because you will be on a morning (or afternoon but this is less usual) surgery list.

3
Baby one day out the next is standard at my hospital, though I needed to stay 2 nights.

4
I wore nothing but a gown down to theatre though they will tell you what to wear. If you wear tena lady knickers you'll need pads too. Heavy duty pads will probably be enough with normal knickers though buy big knickers so they sit well above your incision. I had my section at 4pm and had the catheter out first thing in the morning. Incontinence wasn't an issue though I had to do 3 wees of a certain amount before I could be discharged.

5
You'd probably ring delivery and ask their advice. They will book you in for your section before 40 weeks - I think at 38 or 39.

6
Your husband will be there to help but midwives will too if you need them.

I had an elective for my first baby.

Your husband should be able to stay.

You can leave after a day if you and baby are well.

I didn’t have much bleeding after and only needed normal period pads.

Yes they will help you with the baby.

Any questions and I am happy to help! I actually have a thread on this :)

You will need to check your hospital’s policy regarding partners. Not all hospitals allow them to stay overnight, even after CS.

I was shuffling around, very carefully, about six hours after my ELCS.

I had an elective by maternal request for my second.

My baby was born unexpectedly critically ill and was blue lighted to a hospital 100 miles away. I was frantic to be discharged and was informed that the earliest anyone can ever be discharged after major abdominal surgery is 24 hours. I was discharged at 24 hours. I would have been completely fine but the three hour car ride to the other hospital was not good so I was admitted to their postnatal ward so I could have access to some oromorph. Had I been able to go home I would have been fine with paracetemol/ibuprofen.

My catheter was in for 4 hours post surgery. After 4 hours I was mobile and DH helped me shower. I was then able to walk down the corridor to NICU to see DS before he was transferred. My bleeding did start immediately but was easily handled by maternity pads and seemed very light to me.

At my hospital partners/husbands are not allowed to stay but different trusts have different rules.

I have only good memories of my ELCS. I had a horrific natural birth and the ELCS was so calm and wonderful in comparison. Recovery wasn't as hard as I expected.

I had an ELCS in January following maternal request due to tokophobia. Luckily my midwife was considerably nicer than yours but I did have to jump through a lot of hoops.

In answer to your questions:

1. If I have to go into hospital on the day only the elcs can my DH stay with me?

DH was with me the entire time apart from when I went to the toilet/shower and he went to the shop. He stayed overnight in a chair but we had a private room (in an NHS hospital). We had to pay for the room but it was the best £200 I've ever spent. They're allocated by need but if nobody needs it they go to whoever asks first - would recommend asking your midwife about the rooms as soon as you can on the day.

1. Say I have the baby at 8pm and visiting ends at 8pm, does DH get kicked out?

DH stayed overnight and wasn't kicked out at all but it probably depends on the hospital.

1. Is it possible to have baby one day and be out the next?

Yes, I had DS at about 10am on Tuesday and was discharged at about 6pm on Wednesday.

1. Catheters and post labour bleeding - my friend who delivered vaginally recommended Tena lady incontinence knicks for straight after both for a few days - could those work with a catheter fitted... how long does the catheter stay in? do I wear the knicks down to theatre? Does the bleeding start straight away?

I wouldn't panic about that yet. My catheter came out the following morning. As previous posters have said, the hospital will provide special knickers and pads (I also bought extra knickers from Jojo Maman Bebe - they allow the wound to breath). I bought Tena pants and didn't use them until I had my first period which was very very heavy so they came in useful for that!

1. What happens if I go into labour early... do I go to the elcs hospital or the midwife lead unit?

I was worried about this. I think only the hospital can decide what would happen as it would depend how far in labour you are.

1. If I’m stuck in bed because of the spinal/first few hours after the elcs etc will someone help me change baby/feed baby? I will be formula feeding.

*DH was there so he took care of this. However all the midwifes i had were pretty nice and I'm sure they would have helped (although they were v v busy). * All in all my ELCS was a very calm experience and I would 100% do it again if I had another baby. Don't let the midwife fob you off. It's your body and you should be able to choose.

I had my CS (emergency though) at 2pm and was up and in the shower at 7 with the catheter out and the big maternity knickers on. Husband had to leave at end of visiting but that wasn’t till 10pm at which point I didn’t really get any help or painkillers (but I coped as I’d taken my own). Had baby 2.30pm on Saturday and out Sunday evening.

Hi OP,

Here's my answers - two different hospitals.

1. If I have to go into hospital on the day only the elcs can my DH stay with me?

You can usually take one person into surgery. He'll need to wear gown and hat etc. Then you'll go into recovery and both hospitals he could stay. The postnatal ward will depend on your hospital's policy. I used one with 24 hour visiting (awful but that's a whole other thread!) and one with normal visiting hours. There might be an option to pay for a private room.

1. Say I have the baby at 8pm and visiting ends at 8pm, does DH get kicked out?

I doubt they'll do a planned CS that late. If there's lots of emergencies you'll come back the next day.

1. Is it possible to have baby one day and be out the next?

Possible yes. Likely no. It depends what time your op is and how you and the baby are. Plan for 2 nights. My first was 8 and my second was 2.

1. Catheters and post labour bleeding - my friend who delivered vaginally recommended Tena lady incontinence knicks for straight after both for a few days - could those work with a catheter fitted... how long does the catheter stay in? do I wear the knicks down to theatre? Does the bleeding start straight away?

They'll put a pad and some paper pants on for you. Pack big knickers that go up over the scar but best to let it breathe where possible. I had the catheter out the morning after and second time the same day. So again depends.

1. What happens if I go into labour early... do I go to the elcs hospital or the midwife lead unit?

If you qualify for the MLU you could do. Depends what gestation you are - premature babies they aren't keen on electives. And how advanced labour is. You can still have a section in early labour.

1. If I’m stuck in bed because of the spinal/first few hours after the elcs etc will someone help me change baby/feed baby? I will be formula feeding.

In theory yes but lots of wards are very busy so you might need to wait for nappy changes. You can feed the baby when they pass it to you. Make sure you can reach the buzzer!

1. If I have to go into hospital on the day only the elcs can my DH stay with me?

I had to be at hospital for 7am and DH was with m the whole time, through the CS until visiting time finished at 10pm then had to leave.

1. Say I have the baby at 8pm and visiting ends at 8pm, does DH get kicked out?

You'll be in recovery for a couple of hours first before you go onto ward. I would imagine he'd be allowed to stay with you in recovery but once you're on the ward, their visiting rules apply. My hospital was v strict about partners leaving.

1. Is it possible to have baby one day and be out the next?

It is but then you won't have the good drugs anymore. In hospital I had morphine and tramadol and once Home was just paracetamol and ibuprofen.

1. Catheters and post labour bleeding - my friend who delivered vaginally recommended Tena lady incontinence knicks for straight after both for a few days - could those work with a catheter fitted... how long does the catheter stay in? do I wear the knicks down to theatre? Does the bleeding start straight away?

I didn't have any underwear on until catheter was removed. They lay me on some pads (like puppy training pads) on the bed which absorbed all the blood and then when catheter was removed was given a bed bath and then put underwear and pads on and had shower next day.

1. What happens if I go into labour early... do I go to the elcs hospital or the midwife lead unit?

Go to the hospital if you want a section. They told me it'd then be treated as an emergency section (although a low priority one as long as baby not in distress etc)

1. If I’m stuck in bed because of the spinal/first few hours after the elcs etc will someone help me change baby/feed baby? I will be formula feeding.

Yes. You should be fine to feed the baby but changing you'll need help with. If your DH has gone home you'll buzz for a midwife and they'll help you. Once your catheter out and you're mobile then you do yourself (painfully but you need to get mobile and get doing it)

Some of your questions you need to ask the hospital. Here, visiting hours are limited and partners are not permitted to stay. My first was an emcs at 10pm and dh had to leave as soon as I was transferred to the ward. You do go home the next day at my hospital too.

I was up and about v quickly, certainly had full sensation by the time I was on the ward. DS for example was born at 3.30pm and I had the catheter out and was showering at 6pm. Never needed help with feeding or nappies. I did it all myself.

I was discharged 12hrs after my first btw.

Some of it depends on the hospital and some of it on you.

My DH was sent away at the end of visiting hours.

I don’t know anyone who went home the next day after a section they usually like to see how your wound is getting on.

They put me on pads on the bed after the section. Catheter wasn’t removed until the next morning and then I put on my own pad and big pants.

No one helped me with lifting my babies for a feed or changing their nappies. And I had twins

1. If I have to go into hospital on the day only the elcs can my DH stay with me? My partner was allowed to stay until 9ish and then back the next morning

1. Say I have the baby at 8pm and visiting ends at 8pm, does DH get kicked out?

You spend the first few hours of your recovery on monitor away from the maternity ward. My first section I was there until about 10pm with my partner who then left when we were nicely settled on the ward.

1. Is it possible to have baby one day and be out the next?

Yes I was discharged the next day both times. I found recovery no problem and was keen to get home but I know this isn't always the case

1. Catheters and post labour bleeding - my friend who delivered vaginally recommended Tena lady incontinence knicks for straight after both for a few days - could those work with a catheter fitted... how long does the catheter stay in? do I wear the knicks down to theatre? Does the bleeding start straight away?

Pad is changed by midwives so no pants required. Catheter stays in overnight

1. What happens if I go into labour early... do I go to the elcs hospital or the midwife lead unit?

If you have something like tokophobia you will still get elcs

1. If I’m stuck in bed because of the spinal/first few hours after the elcs etc will someone help me change baby/feed baby? I will be formula feeding.

Yes you can get help

1. Hospital dependent. Our local maternity hospital is currently allowing partners to stay both on the wards and in private rooms. I had dd 6 weeks ago and managed to snag a private room and a camp bed for dh.

1. You'd likely be on recovery for a couple of hours, so if you get out of theatre at 8pm, you'd probably get at least 1/2 hours of him staying with you even if they don't allow partners on the postnatal ward.

1. Yes. I was in for one night only with my 2nd. However given it's your first, they will probably be a lot less keen. Plus I was mobile and knew I was likely to have an easy recovery based on my previous experience. So dd was born on Thursday, got out on Friday and a midwife came to the house on Saturday to check us both over.

1. No knickers to theatre, the bleeding starts straight away when they take the placenta out, with both my sections they just put a pad between my legs. With my 2nd, the catheter was taken out as soon as I got to the postnatal ward so about 7 hours post surgery (no postnatal beds available before that). I had 6 hours to pee otherwise it was going back in, but only needed 1 of those.

1. Phone the hospital you'd be having your section at. They'll tell you what to do. That's what happened to me and they just told me to come straight in. I was offered the choice of trying for vaginal delivery but when I said no, they were absolutely fine (although that might have something to do with what happened with ds).

1. In recovery, you should be helped to get the baby dressed & changed etc whilst you are still numb. I was offered a bed bath and help getting out of the gown/into my own clothes which I jumped at. Once I was on the postnatal ward, you just have to buzz for help.

@MrSpock please could you link your thread

@blorgzorb

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/AMA/3315182-I-had-an-elective-cesarean-by-my-own-request-AMA

Might find it useful if you’re thinking of doing this and I’ll answer any questions, no matter how weird it daft :)

1&2. Yes your dh can stay. It depends on the hospital - at mine they can stay overnight if you want but I didn't want dh to. Also sections are scheduled for before lunch at the hospital I was at, so highly unlikely baby would be born at 8pm. With me they rang the night before to say come in at X time then my baby was born about 2 hours after that.

1. The hospital I was at do enhanced recovery, so catheter out and on your feet within two hours and out the next day. However they're happy for you to stay longer if you feel you need it.

1. My catheter was removed about 2 hours after. I can't remember when bleeding started but the nurses had already sorted me out with a maternity pad even before the catheter was removed.

1. I was told if I went into labour early, I could choose between continuing with labour or an emergency section. I imagine this would depend on your reasons for having a section though.

1. People definitely helped me with the baby. I just asked for baby to be passed to me so I could do it myself, but my ward had nursery nurses who help get babies to sleep, change nappies etc.

I totally understand your anxiety, but I found my local hospital really good at helping me still feel in control of the whole thing and also at keeping me really well informed.

Try this Which? website for detailed information on your maternity unit: www.which.co.uk/birth-choice/units including rules around partners staying over and percentage of ELCSs compared to national average.

1. DH was there the whole time

1. My hospital gave the option of staying overnight in a chair by the bed but we decided he should go home and rest in bed so he left around midnight

1. Yes, I was discharged 24 hours after delivery

1. You don't wear knickers into theatre. The catheter is inserted in theatre and removed once you are mobile (usually when the spinal block wears off). I used disposable knickers after my EMCS and normal ones after my ELCS - either is fine. Maternity pads should also be fine although you'll probably need more than you expect. The bleeding does start straightaway, same as with a VB, and the length of time it lasts is just as variable. First time was 6 weeks, second time was 9 days.

1. Go straight to the labour ward where you're booked in for your ELCS

1. Yes, DH and the midwives will help you

Remind them about the NICE guidance on maternal choice for CS.

Good luck!

Really nice to hear everyone's experiences on OP questions. Elcs is something I'm considering this time around after horrendous forceps delivery.

OP ignore this idiotic midwife / just say 'you've already spoken to me and distressed me enough, I'm still opting for a section thank you,'
My elective was at 9am and i could have left the next day but my DS had jaundice so we stayed in as a pair.

Husband stayed after birth and left early afternoon to collect our DD to come and visit

Incontinance pads are your friends! I also took plenty of heavy duty sanitary pads as I had a lot of bleeding

Catheter I can't recall that being in long and I was up quickly - midwives check you lots and pass your baby for feeding regularly

I had two sections first emergency and both were fine - still got the scar of course and it gets a bit irritated sometimes but it's fine - it's my baby scars and I love them as they're part of my journey to get my kiddies and part of me

My catheter was removed after 24 hrs and then they got me to stand and go to the toilet. I'll be honest and say that the pain was awful when I moved,I couldn't stand straight for at least 3 days. I really wasn't prepared for how immobile I was.