Can I ask some brutal elcs questions?

[Paraketamol]

I have my first meeting with the consultant coming up and had a midwife appointment today (absolute none issue with blood results) and it was the awful one I saw 5 weeks ago; she had another go at me about my desire for an elcs as it’s my first.
I’ve explained on here about my reasons - I’m confident in myself about my reasons.
The midwife basically told me I was going for the easy option and I had no idea how horrible it will be. I tried to ask questions about how horrible it will be but she said I was working myself up.

I came home in a state and wrote myself a jumbled list of the things I don’t know. I have no-one to talk to about this, hence I’m here!

Ok here goes....

1. If I have to go into hospital on the day only the elcs can my DH stay with me?

1. Say I have the baby at 8pm and visiting ends at 8pm, does DH get kicked out?

1. Is it possible to have baby one day and be out the next?

1. Catheters and post labour bleeding - my friend who delivered vaginally recommended Tena lady incontinence knicks for straight after both for a few days - could those work with a catheter fitted... how long does the catheter stay in? do I wear the knicks down to theatre? Does the bleeding start straight away?

1. What happens if I go into labour early... do I go to the elcs hospital or the midwife lead unit?

1. If I’m stuck in bed because of the spinal/first few hours after the elcs etc will someone help me change baby/feed baby? I will be formula feeding.

Thank you for reading this essay! As you can probably tell, I have anxiety issues and am feeling quite lost and terrified, DH is trying to be supportive but he doesn’t know the answers either. I am however, going to be pro-active and request not to see this midwife again; I don’t get her and I don’t think she gets me.

On pain relief - my hospital has a system of self-management for pain relief and I was issued with paracetamol, ibuprofen and Oramorph to be taken at specific times, and a log book to record the times of each dose. I had to stay in for a few days as DS was in SCBU but were it not for that I could have been discharged after 24 hours and taken the oramorph home. You do need to bear in mind that even if you’re fine 24 hrs after you may need to stay in if baby needs additional monitoring or special care.

I think everyone had answered your questions but I just wanted to add that I had two ELCS and one the recovery was insanely painful and one was a breeze. Listen to your body and don’t feel you have to be up and out and fine as soon as the catheter comes out!! Take the pain relief they give you even if you feel ok and when you’re home stay in your pjs for a week so no one expected to much from you.

No advice on the section, and others have answered those questions. It sounds like the dh staying on the ward does vary hospital to hospital though so I would ask your hospital about that. I had two vaginal deliveries late at night, dh stayed with me for the labour, delivery, clean up etc in the delivery suite, but when I was moved up to the ward with baby it was outside visiting hours so he could bring all my bags up and see me settled but then had to go home and come back the next morning - they didn't let men stay on the ward overnight.

1. If I have to go into hospital on the day only the elcs can my DH stay with me?

DH was with me throughout except when the spinal block was being inserted. Once the anaesthetist was happy he was able to come into theatre.

1. Say I have the baby at 8pm and visiting ends at 8pm, does DH get kicked out?

This won’t happen with a scheduled ELCS as they’re always in the morning. Different hospitals have different policies and some allow partners to stay overnight. You will need to check with them.

1. Is it possible to have baby one day and be out the next?

It is if your hospital has a policy of ‘enhanced recovery’, but it also depends on your baby being ready to go home too. Babies born by CS can need some help with their breathing at first, especially if born before 39 weeks.

1. Catheters and post labour bleeding - my friend who delivered vaginally recommended Tena lady incontinence knicks for straight after both for a few days - could those work with a catheter fitted... how long does the catheter stay in? do I wear the knicks down to theatre? Does the bleeding start straight away?

As pp described, puppy pads on bed at first. Midwives put knickers and a pad on me so that I could visit baby in SCBU (by wheelchair) and catheter was removed a couple of hours later.

1. What happens if I go into labour early... do I go to the elcs hospital or the midwife lead unit?

I had an ELCS scheduled for 39+1 but went into spontaneous labour at 38+6. I rang labour ward and they told me to come straight in, as contractions were intense and it was DC2. They scrambled a team immediately to perform the CS but this took about an hour and I was in established labour (5cm dilates) when we arrived. I had Entonox to cope with the contractions in the meantime. I was 6cm dilated in theatre but baby had not yet descended into birth canal. If he had, he would have needed to be pushed back up.

1. If I’m stuck in bed because of the spinal/first few hours after the elcs etc will someone help me change baby/feed baby? I will be formula feeding.

Yes, although depending on how stretched they are you might be waiting a while. Paradoxically the ward which didn’t allow overnight visitors seemed much better for this. I had DC1 at a hospital which allowed 24hr visiting for partners and I very much got the impression that this was to plug a gap in care. The expectation was that partners would do all of this assistance. I had sent DH home to get some proper sleep and the midwives seemed very surprised when I asked for help.

Incidentally, you will be encouraged to harvest colostrum in the last weeks of pregnancy and given little syringes to store it. It’s worth considering doing this to supplement the formula feeding if you wish.

1. I had an emergency section at 2am under GA and our maternity unit still wouldn't allow husband to stay after. He was allowed back at 10 in the morning,

1. I had at 2am Thursday morning and was out by around midday Friday! Advise on being discharged, do them a massive wee when they ask for it within 4 hrs of catheter removal, and try and mobilise the best you can. I couldn't shower but had a strip wash and got myself dressed (just leggings and a top) brushed my hair etc. The midwife was straight to me to get the checks for discharge done! the second I got home I was back in my pjs and being looked after much better by husband and Mum.

1. Bleeding is straight away you have no knickers on but there was a big pad underneath me when I woke, and very bloody sheets.

Catheter is generally 6hrs for an epidural/spinal 12hrs for a GA for removal.

A HCA helped me clean up around 10 in the morning this was fresh bedding, my big pants with two pads and a nightie and dressing gown couldn't put pj bottoms on until catheter was out.

Personally the two thick pads in big midi style pants worked for me ( I recommend Sainsbury's cheap enough to not mind chucking away but still a soft material)

1. I'll be honest I was offered no help with baby, examples are breakfast was brought around way before husband was allowed to come they left the toast away from my reach and I couldn't move to get it. I asked for my water bottle to be refilled(I'd advise take big bottles for water I can't explain how thirsty I was) and she rolled her eyes and took forever to do it. I was still pretty out of it from the GA and trying to bf. I asked for help but was given very little and wasn't told how often to put him on, try to feed etc. The full night I was in was the worst for me though husband had to leave at 10pm and I could barely move; I was hobbling to the loo, I couldn't bend and changing his nappy, putting him in the crib etc was so hard. Husband had put everything I would need out so I didn't have to bend into bags but was so difficult and painful and staff made it clear they weren't there to help. This would all be solved though if partners were allowed to stay overnight at our hospital.

Good luck and hope you have a better experience than I did 😊

1. If I have to go into hospital on the day only the elcs can my DH stay with me?

Your DH will be with you the entire process, he'll be kitted up in scrubs and will be in surgery with you, there's also the option for him to cut the cord :)

1. Say I have the baby at 8pm and visiting ends at 8pm, does DH get kicked out?

* Partners can usually stay all night.* I had my baby at Leeds General, partners were allowed to stay the entire time but only a chair was offered. DP lasted 3 days but I sent him home in the end for a proper kip as he was exhausted.

1. Is it possible to have baby one day and be out the next?

* I was in 4 days due to various issues with mr me and baby (plus severe trapped wind and diaroeah - it hurts!) but usually 2 days they told me.*

1. Catheters and post labour bleeding - my friend who delivered vaginally recommended Tena lady incontinence knicks for straight after both for a few days - could those work with a catheter fitted... how long does the catheter stay in? do I wear the knicks down to theatre? Does the bleeding start straight away?

This huge pad is under you which they check and change after surgery, 24 hours later catheter was out (doesn't hurt at all) and they gave me super comfortable mesh knickers to wear (you can also buy them on amazon) and I provided my own maternity pads - I bled a lot and got through about 40 so make sure you stock up if needed. I just wore a hospital gown and compression socks (I removed my underwear in theatre which they kindly bagged up haha!) and bleeding started almost instantly. They check your urine output after the catheter is removed and scan you will a tiny scanner to ensure your bladder is working as it should
and emptying properly.

1. What happens if I go into labour early... do I go to the elcs hospital or the midwife lead unit?

* I'm not sure sorry as mine was semi elective after 3 days of failed induction*

1. If I’m stuck in bed because of the spinal/first few hours after the elcs etc will someone help me change baby/feed baby? I will be formula feeding.

* If your DP is there he can help, i wasn't able to get out of bed and struggled to tend to my baby. If not just call the midwives using the buzzer and they'll help as much as they can.* * Good luck!*

Thank you @MrSpock, 17 weeks and slowly gathering info. I'll be pushing for an ELCS for my first birth

Blorgzorb I hope you get a supportive team! Take your DH with you, as stupid as it sounds sometimes people are less likely to fob you off when you have a man with you.