Is it ok to not want a baby shower?

[ER1992]

So my friends keep asking me for dates that I'm free for them to organise a baby shower for me. I have been persistent in telling them I'm not keen on the idea 1. Because I hate being centre of attention and playing silly games etc 2. We don't know the gender so don't want lots of neutral presents and 3. Me and hubby would rather if people want to buy baby a gift they do so after baby is here and they all know the gender. However my friends are making me feel guilty about not wanting one and I'm starting to feel like I'm just being silly

I didn't have one with either. I don't like the idea of them.

Dear god no. It’s perfectly ok to not want a baby shower.

I'm not keen on the idea of having a baby shower. I went to my sister's and we had to sniff chocolate in nappies and it completely put me off the idea!

Yes it’s fine not to want one. I didn’t have one. I find it cringy to expect gifts (and a party) for a life choice I made with my husband. People bought gifts when the baby was safely here and that was lovely.

Of course it is. I’m on baby number 3 and have never had one. Friends tried to arrange one for my first but I politely declined.

I don't know anyone in RL that's had one and don't like the idea either. Perfectly ok not to want one.

I would say it’s laudable not to want one.

I never had one - politely declined every request from friends to organize one for me. I hate them. It’s an American idea which we don’t need to import.

Absolutely fine not to want one OP, don’t let your friends make you feel jealous - this is about what YOU want, not them (a fact they seem to have forgotten).

Women have happily had babies in this country for decades without baby showers - I don’t want one either.

I would maybe make your feelings known to a few family members si they can be on the look out in case they try to throw you a surprise one!

GUILTY! Not jealous

I didn't have one for either of mine. Thankfully no-one offered to arrange one either.

Stick to your guns.

Urgh they are so grabby and tacky.

I would absolutely hate the have one.

I don’t want one either. My mil text to ask if I was having one and I said no, I don’t like them. If I gave a hint of wavering, I’d have a party before I could blink!

I think that it’s very hard for guests as in the UK we traditionally buy something for the first visit after the birth and maybe for a christening/naming ceremony etc later. Adding a baby shower just creates another event where they feel obliged to bring a card/gift.

My friends have had gender reveals (does anyone really care about the gender other than close family?) and baby showers but I could not think of anything worse!

At least the guests can get tipsy, you’d have to be stone cold sober and play ‘fun’ games!

Stick to your guns, if you don’t want one, won’t enjoy it and will feel uncomfortable definitely keep saying no. Pregnancy is uncomfortable enough without added stress!

I didn’t have one. Mostly because nobody cared enough to organise one for me and I had nobody to attend anyway. If you don’t want one you don’t need to have one. I think it’s lovely that you have kind friends who want to organise one for you though.

"I would say it’s laudable not to want one."

I agree with this. It is a bit odd to not want gender-neutral gifts though.

Not at all. Most of my friends have had babies now and no-one has a baby shower.

I didn’t have one. A friend offered but I told her I prefer not to celebrate until the baby is safely here.

My friends organised a surprise one for me!!! 20 people in our local Zizzi but no games just food and chatting.

I didn't want one but it wasn't as bad as I thought; I knew I was having a girl and people were very generous with the gifts. They'd even invited my Mum who gave me a box of things she'd made, I nearly cried!!!!!

Just give them some boundaries like absolutely no games, in a place you choose and try to enjoy it.

I really didn’t want one but ended up having a lovely lunch with my closest friends and they gave me some small gifts. It was really nice and there were no games!!

I am not having one but then I didn't have a hen night either. I just don't like that sort of thing, and I don't want people to feel pressured into buying stuff.

Be prepared that you will still get some gender neutral clothes as presents though!

I think they’re tacky anyway, I’ve never had one and wouldn’t want one.

It’s fine. Refreshing actually but each to their own.

I’ve flat out said no to a baby shower. This baby is the first grand child on both sides so it’s going to get plenty of stuff and my house isn’t big enough

My Mum asked me if I wanted one. I said no.

I would rather people bought us something because they saw it and thought of us, than buying it because they felt they should get something for the party.

Didn't want one, didn't have one. They're awful imo.