Finding out the sex

[lemonnmeringuepie]

I have a 28 week scan tomorrow and totally undecided whether to find out the sex this time?

When I had ID twins I found out at the earliest opportunity.

I'm torn as so many people do find out, and others say it is the best surprise of your life not knowing!

Are there many of you out there who didn't find out the sex and is it really the best surprise?? I am dying to know but don't want to spoil it!

Didn't find out in advance with either of the DC. Don't regret it for a moment, all that wondering and then the surprise is so lovely...

Like you, I found out with my first as soon as I could! But we've decided not to find out with our second as we're not planning anymore children.

I've got lots of friends who have said it's an amazing surprise not finding out.

Surely it's just the same surprise finding out at a scan? With the added benefit of being organised in advance.

Didn’t find out, don’t regret it. My view was, we had no preference so it wasn’t a case of ‘managing disappointment’, the sex of the baby was set and knowing early wouldn’t change that, and I hate all the gendered crap you can get for newborns- so the baby wouldn’t be all in pink or blue anyway.

He was born with the cord around his neck, and honestly we couldn’t care less what sex he was at that point. We were just relieved he was ok. So it was a bit of an anticlimax from the ‘finding out’ POV- it wasn’t a big “it’s a boy!!” moment.

I didn't find out until birth with both my children so I can't compare what it's like to find out at the sonographers appointment vs when you've just delivered. All I know is that it was really exhilarating finding out at the birth and the sense of anticipation was really heightened. It was great finding out and then having your baby in your arms a moment later. If I was to have a third I would do it exactly the same way.

Each to their own. For me it was enough that I had a live child who was ok, the gender was insignificant so found out ASAP in scans as I knew I'd feel this way

Thanks for all of your replies - I will resist finding out, especially as I have managed this far!

Didn’t find out with my first, did with second and third. Was equally as lovely and exciting both ways .

I found out with ds1 at 20 week scan but we wanted a surprise for baby number 2, I can honestly say it was the best surprise I have ever had!! And to hear DH shout "it's a boy!" Was amazing.
I also think the curiosity and need to know if I had a son or daughter gave me the strength for the final push.x

And it's not just the same as finding out at the scan at all, for starters you have had another 20 weeks for wondering and speculation. If we have anymore we won't be finding out, surprise was lovely.

Ime the new arrival was received more whole heartedly by knowing 'who' was joining the family!!

@Failingat40 what needs to be organised?

I didn't find out the sex of my second and it was lovely because my husband announced the gender when she was born :)

I found out what I was having first time around, but I think it was nicer having a suprise :)

I could never ever find out until the birth. There wasn't even the tiniest part of me that wanted to know at all. It really is the best surprise ever. Think of it this way, would you prefer to find out and leave with a scan picture or two? Or to find out and then (all being well of course) have your baby placed in your arms?

@happymummy12345 they still give you scan pictures if you don't want to find out the sex. They just ensure their genitals are missing from the picture.

As I said, I didn’t find out with my first but did with my 2nd (and have with my unborn 3rd). Both equally as lovely. Genuinely can’t imagine the birth of my child being any less special just because I already know what’s between its legs!

I didn't find out I have frequent scans for 'growth and reassurance' (as one of my twins was stillborn) so the temptation to find out is getting stronger, but I have made it to 28w so going to stick it out and enjoy the amazing surprise once he/she's here! Thank you for your input!

I have found out with all 3 of mine but that's because I struggle mentally and emotionally with being pregnant and I find it a bit easier if I can start thinking about a little girl (or little boy). I can start to concentrate on the person I will meet at the end. No idea if that makes sense!

Also, you can definitely still get scan pics if you don't want to know the sex!

It was such an amazing surprise to find out at the scan, both times. I don't feel like it's taken anything away from the wonder of birth.

I find it easier to connect with the baby when they have a name, and it's hard to come up with a concrete name when you don't know their sex. Even unisex names I like better for one sex or the other usually.

I know that's not the same for everyone but that's how DH and I felt :)

I didn't find out with my two and I don't know what its like to know before labour, but it motivated me to get those babies out as the suspense was killing me!
I'm pregnant with third. DH wants to know and we can as we have a Harmony test booked for 11 weeks. But I want to keep the surprise. Finding out that early in the pregnancy sound too weird to me.
Just not sure if the Harmony results will give it away or whether they can even with hold that information from the results.

I'm so sorry about your twins (I have a set myself). Wishing you all the best, hoping they don't let it slip at any of your other scans

I was so exhausted by the time I actually delivered I'd forgotten I was having a baby! I was so exhausted it was a surreal moment, I didn't really register him until I'd been to theatre and come out and had tea and toast and a bit of a rest. And was like "oh yes, I had a baby, where is it?" Bonkers. So in some ways I was glad I already knew it was a boy as I don't think I'd have retained that on delivery. I didn't find out deliberately though, I had a late scan for placenta placement and the sonographer happened to scan his bits first off, there was no mistaking it!

@BlueBug45 I realise you're being facetious but actually not all expectant mums are the same.
I wanted to be organised with nappies, clothing and blankets which I could buy in the sales in advance. I didn't want a neutral child. Nappies back then were made for either boy/girl.
Does that help?

@FailingAt40 I wasn't being facetious as nappies are sex neutral, and even when they weren't for a brief period a couple of my nephews were in girls Pampers as they were given to my sister-in-laws free. Likewise they were in a mixture of clothing colours as not everyone buys into stereotypes with children.