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Original poster

Having to go to scan alone

33 replies

purplestrawberry2 · 10/07/2018 19:59

Just ranting really. Its my 12 week scan tomorrow and our appointment is outside of school hours. the letter strictly states no children. As me and hubby dont have childcare we rang explaining this and got told there were no alternative appointments - ive been ringing regularly for short notice cancellations too. We had arranged some childcare but thats fallen through so now completely stuck. Think the only option now is to go on my own which is particularly rubbish as hubby really hasnt bonded with this pregnancy at all and he was hoping it would help being at the scan.

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LilacIris · 10/07/2018 20:03

I understand you would like your husband there but I more than appreciate the reasons why children aren’t allowed from both the perspective of sonograohers and other patients there experiencing bad news.

You could go to a private scan so your DH can go along and your child too.

TitsalinaBumsquat · 10/07/2018 20:11

Please don’t take your child. I know it must be frustrating to go in your own, but the last time I miscarried we had to st in the waiting room after being given bad news (waiting for the doctor) and there was a woman there with 2 young children. It was heartbreaking. And it’s not a suitable place for a child anyway. Women may be there because they are unwell or very stressed and the last thing you want in that situation is a small child rabbiting away loudly. Can you not pay for a baby sitter for an hour?

Original poster
purplestrawberry2 · 10/07/2018 20:26

I hadnt considered taking my child in with me (and didnt think I had written that)- sonographer needs to concentrate and id be worried in case something was wrong.

Just frustrated thats all. wish there could have been more flexibility in appointment times - i had explained childcare issues to midwife at booking and asked for appts before 2pm but doesnt seem this was communicated.

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Thegirlhasnoname · 10/07/2018 20:29

Like PP have said, you could go for a private scan and take family to that. I know I booked the 20 week scan after my 12 week at the hospital and was allowed to pick the time slot from what they had available so at least the next NHS one would be easier for childcare in that aspect Smile

Good luck for tomorrow!

Havetothink · 10/07/2018 20:43

My letter said children could sit outside with an adult until the end of the scan and then were allowed to come in at the end to see the baby. Does yours just say don't bring them to the hospital at all?

BettyBigBollocks · 10/07/2018 21:03

I felt the same disappointment when I had to go to my 12 week scan alone as DP was away. We booked a private scan at about 18 weeks which he came to instead. I then also had to do the 20 week scan (and 24,34,38 in my case as well) alone too and it really wasn’t so bad. I expected to be the only person alone in the waiting room but actually lots of other women were too.

Hopefully when you book your 20 week you’ll get a few options to choose from. Hope all goes well Flowers

MiniAlphaBravo · 10/07/2018 21:05

I had to do both my 12 week and 20 week scan alone. It was fine, just get on with it I’m afraid! They are very stretched and can’t accomodate everyone’s desires. Sorry to be harsh but that’s all it is. If you can afford it get a private scan, if not be grateful we get scans here.

Original poster
purplestrawberry2 · 10/07/2018 21:18

Thanks everyone. Minialphabravo a bit harsh lol, am I not allowed to feel a bit peeved that I cant have my husband there? I work for the NHS so I know they are stretched but in our service we do everything we can to try and accomodate our patients. its not like they didnt have lots of notice to book it, I cant imagine that when they got my scan request there was only 1 appt in the 6 weeks between 8 and 14.

Anyway, will look into private scans if everything goes ok.

OP posts:
Rosti1981 · 10/07/2018 22:01

I would get your DH to wait outside with the children, use tablets/headphones as required to keep the children occupied and quiet. It just means he's there if you need him (this would be my concern, knowing support is there if you need it). I know it's frustrating about him not seeing/having that bond but that can be done through arranging a private scan once you know everything is as it should be. But if you are worried about support, I'd get him to wait outside with children... Then at least you can see him straight away.

CatchingBabies · 10/07/2018 23:39

The “12 week scan” actually called a nuchal scan needs to be between 11 weeks and 13 weeks 6 days pregnant, it’s a fairly small window so it’s quite possible there were no appointments before 2pm in that time period, bearing in mind that in that period other ladies will be taking up appointments with 20 week scans, early reassurance scans, growth scans etc. It’s not unusual for people to attend alone however.

Mousefunky · 11/07/2018 08:25

It’s not NF scan, it’s the dating scan and can be as early as 8 weeks. Some people don’t have the NF testing.

I wouldn’t take DC at all. I’ve been that person that’s had bad news and I am so glad my DC weren’t there to see the aftermath. You will have to deal with it I’m afraid and as PP’s suggested, book a private scan (maybe a gender one with 3D? It’s pretty cool!) and take DC to that. Good luck for today.

Original poster
purplestrawberry2 · 11/07/2018 09:23

Hubby is coming with little one but they are going to hospital canteen so I can see them quickly afterwards but not getting bored in waiting room and will have some time to pull myself round. If im being honest im just worried about getting bad news (i have had a previous miscarriage, though that was before the 12 week scan). Im sorry to hear about those who have had bad news at scans before x

Im not having any screening. private scan might be out of our price range but will see about saving up for a 3d one later :-)

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holidaycountdown54321 · 11/07/2018 09:37

We had a 12 month old at my 12 week scan, it never even crossed my mind that she might not be welcome. The sonographer was lovely chatting away to her.

If your other child is only a baby I'd just ignore it and pretend I didn't know and take them along, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't refuse to let your husband in.

WhirlingTurkey · 11/07/2018 09:47

I understand why you are disappointed. Our hospital let children attend. The waiting area has a play area etc. I was surprised the first time I went, as I wasn't expecting children to be allowed, because of some of the reasons mentioned up thread. Although a lot of people going for scans will already be parents, so it makes sense to be accommodating to children really. It seems it varies from hospital to hospital.

sparklepops123 · 11/07/2018 09:50

I had a private 3D scan which is a lot better as baby is much clearer and can see features and they let children in

CatchingBabies · 11/07/2018 18:48

Apologies the range I gave is obviously if you are having screening, that doesn’t apply if you’re not.

Original poster
purplestrawberry2 · 11/07/2018 20:47

well went today alone, with hubby and daughter in coffee shop. I was then asked to call them in so they could tell us ITS TWINS!

OP posts:
PotteryLady · 11/07/2018 20:56

OMG 😮 congratulations!

sparklepops123 · 11/07/2018 21:05

Ha ha congrats!

Rainatnight · 11/07/2018 21:09

ShockFlowers

Bibijayne · 12/07/2018 05:29

Congratulations!

BrutusMcDogface · 12/07/2018 05:38

Amazing news!! Congrats! 👶🏼 👶🏼

LuMarie · 12/07/2018 06:10

So you did sneak in some extra people there!

Congrats:)

Cherrysherbet · 12/07/2018 06:15

How lovely! Congratulations 😊 There were more people in the room than you expected after all!

ellesbellesxxx · 12/07/2018 06:18

YAY! I have twins and they are amazing :)