Glass of wine...... yes or no?!

[babyhopeful2018]

I'm looking for advice?!

I'm heading away on a overnight business trip next week with 3 other work colleagues.

I'm only 8 weeks and I don't really want to tell people until my 12 week scan.

We are going out for a meal on the Tuesday night and I know they will expect to be ordering wine for the table.

Will 1 wine spritzer be ok or should I stick to none at all?!

Also does anyone have any good 'excuses' not to drink at events xx

UK advice always used to be that it was fine to have one small drink on occasion as well. Has it changed? That was the advice when I had DS - it was 10 years ago though. I think I had a glass of Pimms and lemonade that summer and that was the only time.

“Today 11:04 indiddo

hmm

you'll get loads of people saying they drank and their baby is fine. they are either wrong or very very lucky.

do not even have one drink. it's not worth it at all. drinking alcohol in pregnancy is extremely selfish”

Are you taking the piss @indiddo? Loads and loads of women drink when pregnant. When I had my last D.C. the guidelines were of you want to drink stick to 1-2 units once or twice a week. Are you saying me and millions of other mums are actually deluded and haven’t noticed our children have FAS?

Do you know anything about FAS?

Honestly the most effective strategy I found was to accept a glass and basically don't drink it. Noone ever noticed I wasn't drinking. Pick it up and hold it. I got through many work events this way.

As for all the hysterical responses about the harm it would do, OP is a grown up who is capable of making her own choices. Pregnancy doesn't remove your brain.

That said- none before 16 weeks for me and most people I know, and I think this is very common due to the development that takes place early on. I probably wouldn’t bother in your circumstances and just say I’m on the 5:2 diet or something

Oh yes to bumble! That’s what I did, took a glass and just pretended to drink

I object to all this:
"You'd risk your baby's health just for the sake of your colleagues? "

What risk is there to baby's health? Of one drink as aposed to any other risk?

Not that I'm pro drinking. I just don't think the evidence that it ' harms baby' is strong enough, to warrant the governments stance on TOTAL abstinence.

I wouldn't in the first trimester personally. I had a couple of drinks in the second half of my pregnancy, so I'm not 100% against it, but I don't think it's worth the risk while baby is doing so much vital developing. If something goes wrong you will always be wondering if the alcohol caused it.

I agree with you @oblomov18, some of the studies that support that position are not very good quality. It would be much better if we were presented with the evidence and able to make our own assessment of the risks.

@glintandglide yes i know a lot about FAS, do you?
i didn't say every child has FAS. just because "loads and loads" of women drink while pregnant doesn't make it right.

Regardless of the debates about health issues, I hate that people feel pressured into drinking because of what other people might think or that not wanting to drink is so unusual. It annoys me that people have to find 'excuses' for not drinking other than 'I don't want to', which should be perfectly valid and acceptable. I quit drinking a few years ago and some people looked at me like I'd grown an extra head. It's a bit depressing.

Well then you’d know that FAS doesn’t affect babies whose mothers have had the occasional drink

Overnight stay is a killer unless you're on a fitness/diet kick. Really easily covered at all sort of functions by "losing" the debate with DH about who was driving or just coming alone as driver... busted straight away on overnight stay because although getting wasted is very much banned in that group, having 1 or 2 is normal for me. Also had massive alcohol aversion- a sip of bubbly was more than enough!

@BertieBotts the advice changed because it was realised that all people including pregnant women couldn't work out how much they were drinking so were under estimating the amount they were consuming.

I have spoken to women including my own mother who gave birth in the 60s, 70s and 80s and they all drank throughout pregnancy. Most but not all couldn't drink in the first trimester as they felt and were too sick. (Remember women generally didn't find out their were pregnant until much later until they felt sick.) A lot were encouraged by HCPs to have a drink but unlike now where people drink loads at home, they really drank small amounts and normally only every few weeks/month or so.

I have spoken to some HCPs including paediatricians since the advice changed, and they pointed out no-one knows the amount that will cause foetal alcohol syndrome as it is unethical to do research on pregnant women. They were the ones who pointed out that people don't know how much they are consuming, and those who drank alcohol did drink occasionally during their own pregnancies.

I'm sorry this has blown up in a huge debate...... I was only after some friendly advice!!

I can't speak about it with friends and family so I thought I'd try here...... major mistake!!

For all those judging this is my first pregnancy and I've not had a drop of alcohol since March!! Was just wondering what anyone else would do in my situation when working away with colleagues!!

I thought these were supposed to be friendly boards and not where you'll be completely judged by something I've not even done!!

Rant over........

Ps thanks to all who have given nice and friendly advice - I think I'll stick with no alcohol and if need be the headache excuse xx

How patronising. I know how much I am
Consuming ta.

@glintandglide as you have worked out the whole thing is patronising. Which is why when the new alcohol guidelines came out for men and non-pregnant women, many people thought they were a load of bs.

Don't you think that is a bit patronising as a reason? I don't think people really underestimate what they drink, but the limits are extremely conservative in relation to what's culturally accepted, so most people will tend to lie to their doctors because it sounds bad to regularly exceed the recommended limit - but people know that they drink more.

I don't mean in pregnancy since most people are aware that 1-2 units is basically one small drink, but in normal life. Nobody I know (when not pregnant) sticks to the recommended limits because what is the point of having one glass of wine? You may as well not bother. I know it's not very healthy, but as long as it's not every night people are adults and can make the choice.

I do appreciate the point of advice stating that the safe limit is not known and as a precaution it's safest not to drink at all. I also think it's useful to note that it's especially risky during the first trimester, which I don't remember being advice I had with DS.

Despite some of the alarmist posts above there is no convincing evidence that light drinking in pregnancy causes any harm to the baby - have a look at “Expecting Better” by Emily Oster for a good discussion of the evidence.

A single wine spritzer drunk slowly with a meal is perfectly fine.

I have a small glass per week after the 1st tri but I don’t think I would before 12 weeks.

Welcome to the world of maternal judgement op! It will last the rest of your pregnancy and beyond. You ask for a simple question and you get lombastrd by other people’s Judgements.

I would recommend reading the book ‘expecting better’ by Emily Oster. It provides s pretty good evidence based judgement of what’s good to eat/drink/avoid during pregnancy. More accurate in terms of risk than outright bans / high level advice given by nhs. She states that you should be comfortable with:

• one drink a day in the 2nd/3rd trimesters
• one to two drinks a week in the first trimester
• drink slowly - no shots
• no heavy drinking - never over 4 or 5 drinks a time

Remember this is your pregnancy do your research and stick with what you feel comfortable with. Everything is technically s risk when pregnant.

Should add that light drinking is no more than one drink a week in first trimester and no more than 1-2 drinks once or twice weekly in second and third trimesters.

With DD1 I didn't know I was pregnant until about 10 weeks and had been drinking around the 8 mark. One small one will be fine. DD is a healthy 4.5 year old now.

Why do people always start on about FAS on threads where people are asking about having one drink?! FAS is rare and only presents in the offspring of some women who drink heavily, not all. It’s not understood why. I wouldn’t advocate heavy drinking for anyone but a pregnant lady having one drink simply will not do any harm.

so someone doesn't wear a seatbelt and doesn't die in a car accident. does that mean it's safe not to wear a seatbelt?

why risk something you can have 100% control over it not affecting your baby

Indiddo that’s analogy is irrelevant. As above, FAS does not present in mothers of light/ moderate drinkers. You said you knew about FAS so presumably you knew that?

So what do you think the risk of harm of one drink is?