My husbands a knob!

[Ilovechocolate111]

I'm pregnant after having 6 mc!
My daughter and husband is evil!
My daughter is 5 and is a complete daddy's girl!
This morning I told my daughter to go back into the living room to eat her breakfast before shes late for school! She starts screaming! Husband ran in and daughters holding her neck! (bear in mind that I didn't touch her!! ) she's told him I pushed her in the neck!!
So me and hubby just had a argument over it because what ever she says it true! Even my 6 year old told him I didn't touch her! But he still believes her 😔 so we rowed and he turns around and says to me you best go to the docs and get rid, cuz if this is your attitude!! I can't stop crying! After so many heart breaks he says that! This isn't the first time she has said stuff like that to her dad and also the school. Even at school she fell over and said my mum pushed me! I wasn't even there! 😔
I've just been offered a house for the family for a fresh start. He says Im not into him anymore! Even tho I don't want sex as it might cause me to lose again!
I relly can't stand my daughter anymore! Nd my husband is being a dick! How the fuck can I prove to him that she keeps making stuff up!
If I sat next to him on the sofa she will cry and hit the other kids or give me dirty looks. Husband keeps saying it because I jealous!..... Of what!......... I'm so fef up!

Lovely she knows what's right and wong she isn't stupid she's actually very bright! But they way she uses her dad to get at everyone is apauling! I have asked for help from everyone! But no one wants to no! I have put her in her room before now and she will stand there and head butt the door! She has knocker herself out before by doing it! So if I punish her she will cause alot of harm to herself and others! If I put her on the naughty step she will eat the carpet ! So please tell me how I can punish her without her hurting herself or others!? I have tried everything... I've even put her in a empty room full of Teddy and will head butt the wall! And I cannot afford to pad the whole room out!

I'm sorry but your partner sounds awful. He sounds childish and selfish and it is pretty clear he is zero respect for you. Your daughter is picking up on this from him.

LTB!

You think your 5 year old is evil?? I'm sorry but you sound very young and immature.

Your daughter has clocked the distance and the arguments between mum and dad and is playing this to her advantage. Most kids do this... it does not make them evil. Some of the things you have said so far about not wanting to be with her or things being better without her are IMHO disgusting. She is a little girl.

Dump the husband if that's what you think is best (he sounds like a prize wanker) but you need to start focusing on those kids, bringing your daughter back into the family and showing her some love! Your family currently sounds very dysfunctional.

I accept you are at the end of your tether and frankly your DP is a giant dick

But separate the issues

Whether you like it or not you are the parent and she is the child and it certainly sounds like she is picking up on your dislike of her

Your wording comes across as extremely manipulative and martyr like "may God strike me down "comment is self serving

No-one would have an issue if you were just having a fair moan that we all do but your language to your dd is horrendous

I've got some similar issues with ds1 around going to the toilet ,reaction to being told off...head butting etc

The behaviour around her father...yes it's likely that he is playing a big part

All of these issues can be managed in a controlled way (I get the frustration I will go outside and rant and cry but do not let the kids see)

Take a step back and rather than blame everyone else i the world or even yourself look at how to resolve

And STOP with your attitude towards her...she is a child and whatever she is doing it is not some deliberate sinister plot to screw your life up

And get rid of DP he's ridiculous

And I am not taking anything out on my daughter. I kiss her, hug her, pick her up if she falls down. Ect! But since the day she was born she never wanted me! Always her dad. I. If I hated my daughter do u think I would have her! (I no that sound horrid. )
I have tried so hard for her to be a mummy girl but she doesn't want to and I can not Force her to.!
My oh is a dick and will get getting a big gob full when my youngest isn't here. I will tell him to pack a bag a fuck off.! But seriously I really didn't mean for me to sound horrid!! No one apart from her old nursery understand me. As they have seen it them selves and said it is OUT OF ORDER.... SO judge me I don't care I have gone past caring now. I love the little girl with all my heart but I just can't get any help from no one. No one believes me when I tell them... I will be buying a cameras so then I can prove to people I ain't lying!

OP does it really matter about whether people believe you ? Surely it is about resolving the behaviour of your DD?
This isn't about you !! It's about your child and her development and behaviour

You are so focused on the effect on you
Perhaps it is your wording and it's hard to get across on the internet but you come across as far less interested in her but that you 'win' the competition of mummy girl or daddy's girl

My dc prefer their father Exdh currently because inn the one that makes them go to school and brush their teeth and do all the stuff that will be healthy and right...he gives them sweets

But that's how it works

Step away from you in this and think about her

But very glad to see you are getting rid of the rubbish dp

When her dad is around she's is a proper little girl who loves her siblings! But even if the phone rang and it was oh she starts be behavior! I have. Tried saying over and over again I don't treat her no different! If I'm angry I walk away and go upstairs to the loo and cry, even my eldest had been with me to appointments and he himself has told them what she does! I don't make him say anything, the professional will ask me and questions and he will answer!
I give up.! So again I can't have a moan or a rant as I'm being call a bad mum.! Childish ect. Like I said I have asked for help to many times and get told no!
Never mind hey no-one will ever understand or belive me.! Thank you all for judging me and thanks for no advice!

I have asked for help.! I cannot put her in danger by telling her off and putting in her room! She will end up killing herself! So u tell me how to punish her.
She doesn't play with toys. She doesn't use technology. She can't read book so she doesn't like them... Im lost!

If that's really what you heard OP then seek help for yourself

You haven't put yourself across well and I only have your words to go on

It is frustrating I entirely get that but if you are only interested in a pity party then I'm sorry

I haven't called you a bad mum but I stand by thinking that you are coming across as only focused on you

If you really want genuine advice then switch off the pity bit and talk properly to people

There's nothing wrong with having a moan we all do it..its healthy but you just want me to say poor you ,how awful everyone is to you

I actually think if you stepped away from the poor me bit you would figure this out...with three kids you must be a strong woman to cope ...you can actually resolve this

But not if all you want to do is wallow about how crap everyone is to you

She's going to school saying mummy punched me. Mummy bite me! Come on! The school said they no its a lie as they was no marks anywhere! And then she laughed and said only joking!

You do need help OP. You can't, in fact, noboby could, carry on like this you poor darling!

You are right in the middle of it all and it's hard to get perspective so it goes on and on... Wish I could do more than offer a few kind words but they'll have to do!

OK then I'll ask one question

how do I punish a child who would end up servealy hurt herself!?

Another question
How can I get help with all this if no one want to help until she's 7?

Pregnant, six miscarriages too. Holy shit, you've been through it right enough. Can't get my emojis to work on the app but

Well that all depends on what you are punishing her for?

So you think maybe you are coming down too heavy on the punishments side? There was another post a few days ago with a child behaving much much worse than yours - the general consensus was to lovebomb her. Compliment her, positive praise all the time "oh wow look how good you have been today, your school work was amazing. I love it when we do your hair like that" etc etc. Tons and tons of cuddles and positive reinforcement. She has 2 parents who act completely differently, one of which is struggling to contain her feelings for her... no wonder she is unsettled! Kids need firm boundaries and to know that they are loved.

Yep this is my 10th pregnancy! And I get told to get rid.! And then I get told I hope it isn't a grill cuz our little girl will kill her!

It is fucking horrible. Mine has autism and I'd get judged constantly. Now bear in mind I used to manage classes of 33 children and my older DD was absolutely fine. None of the usual strategies work.

Maybe push for an autism assessment and that might be a gateway to more help?

Cricket. Every single day I praise her! And I mean everyday! I try to cuddle her.! I try to kiss her but she turns me away! If I praise her she will say don't you say that to me! I don't like you I only want my dad to say it! But I keep saying it. If she eats all her tea I will praise her and laugh and try to joke with her. But again I get don't talk to me I don't like you! I am the one who has tried for years. I will take her the park with out her siblings and she will sit at the bottom of the slide saying im not moving until dad gets here. So I will go on thee swings to Try and get her to play but she won't move! But if I said right I'm going home them.. She run home!

Charis. Thank you for not judging! ☺. I have a friend who child has autism and she said what my daughter is doing is what her son did at the very begining. So it might be worth for me to keep pushing for a assessment. I will take me several months to do tho.
Xx

Whilst I disagree with the way you’ve described your daughter e.g ‘evil’ it sounds like you need a lot of support.
Have you asked for a CAF referral through your daughters school?
Your husbands attitude is appalling but it sounds like your daughter is playing him off against you. Sit down and agree a behaviour strategy together so when she does play up again she’ll realise that you’re both united in discipline and doesn’t make the rules herself

Thank you I will do that xx

If you already have 3 children (one of whom you seem to despise) and a husband that doesn’t support you, why on Earth did you decide to have more children? Maybe your 5 year old needs some attention from you and needs you to make her feel like you love and want her as your post and subsequent comments make it sound as though you wish she didn’t exist.

It's not always a choice r.e children. I've seen the most strong, capable and intelligent women coerced or raped in my decade reading the relationship board. They got out but I'm just saying it happens.

Abusers like children. It makes somebody extremely dependant and terrified of leaving if they have a non-verbal young one who could be hurt during post-separation contact.

I would push for help with socisl services, i dont believe thst they wouldnt intervene and help if yiu expressed to them how youve expressed yourself on here. Have a look and see if there is a homestart charity or similar in your area.
Obviously no one is pushing or supporting you so i know its tough but you need to explain to a professional how you are reallg feeling, i just cant see them not intervening if she is as bad as you say she is. Your partner obviously isnt helping but surely having another baby with him isnt going to help matters, especially if your daughter is violent or you are worried about her hurting the baby then that issue needs to be addressed too. Dont really know what else to say, its easy to judge others but you are obviously going through a lot so just wanted to say keep strong and i hope you get the help you need x

I think you need some counselling, and I agree with the pp who suggested a couple of cameras to film the behavior but I think you all need to watch it back and each look at your own behavior (without arguing) you could just turns to say how it makes you feel watching it afterwards (and your husband would have to agree beforehand). It doesn't sound as simple as one person's fault, it takes a family effort to get in such a mess. Have you looked at family counselling as a possibility?