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Original poster

Perineal massage to prevent tearing....

40 replies

LB1291 · 25/06/2018 11:38

Hi

My midwife has suggested that I try this to help prevent tearing. It’s a bit odd and as I can’t really reach anything I’ve asked my husband to help. He’s willing but think a bit creeped out

How do you go about it? Obviously he only sees that area when intimate and I can’t help but feel like it will completely kill any desire he will ever have for me. FYI neither of us are into sex this pregnancy so it will not be a prelude or after party...

Thanks!

OP posts:
NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 25/06/2018 11:41

I did this, not sure it really did much but wanted to give myself every advantage!!

Was a long time ago mind (10+ years) so I can’t remember what oil I used or the exact method..

I did tear slightly with my first child (frontally... no stitches) and no tear with my second.

TeaAddict235 · 25/06/2018 11:43

I think that i used almond oil.
It didn't work for me as I had 3b stitches.

My suggestion would be to drink loads so that you are hydrated and your skin will be more elastic. I found that out later .

All the best!

Titsywoo · 25/06/2018 11:45

Didn't work for me. What worked the second time was pushing while standing (in fact entire labour I was upright).

MrsSnootyPants2018 · 25/06/2018 11:45

I did this when pregnant with DD! Read vegetable oil was good so did it everyday from around 30 weeks. Not a single tear or stitch needed!

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 25/06/2018 11:46

Never did this. Never tore..
Lots of natural births!!

bellinisurge · 25/06/2018 11:50

Did this. Made no difference. Bad tear.

Mousefunky · 25/06/2018 11:52

Also did this along with drinking lots of raspberry leaf tea to ‘soften’ things down below. Didn’t work, needed an episiotomy with DC1 and had a second degree tear with DC2.

kiwiblue · 25/06/2018 11:57

I did this (although possibly slightly half heartedly), still had bad tear.

I also read the scientific studies on it, as at NCT they tell you that it reduces risk of tearing. The Cochrane review of the studies stated that it reduces risk of needing an episiotomy, but not of tearing. So it seemed a bit misleading to me what they told us at NCT. Someone else might know more about this though!

LisaSimpsonsbff · 25/06/2018 12:02

I'm also doing this at the moment, and also not much enjoying it. I don't mind DH doing it - we're generally very open about our bodies with each other, I know some couples are very 'preserve the mystery' but I think our mystery went when he had to get a stuck mooncup out of me about three months after we started dating! - but it feels more like it's doing something if I do it myself. It's a bit uncomfortable (which I suppose is the point) and also very boring.

BlueBug45 · 25/06/2018 13:01

Oddly I looked at some studies of this over the weekend to see when I should start. To summarise what I found start at 34 weeks, use a vegetable oil, do it 3-4 times a week and it should decrease the pain of crowning. As a PP pointed out there is lots of contradicting advice of how effective it is in reducing the risk of tearing but it should reduce the risk of episiotomy.

Original poster
LB1291 · 25/06/2018 13:59

Thanks all. Yes it makes sense and there are lots of good studies. It’s unfortunate that people still tear but, in my view it does no harm. I just don’t know how to get down to it without it being awkward....pass the vegetable oil and look sultry?!

OP posts:
MapMyMum · 25/06/2018 14:02

I cant remember exactly what I did but I gave birth to a 12lb baby with no tears or cuts after doing it so maybe do it just to be sure!

Namechange128 · 25/06/2018 14:05

There is actual evidence of this having some positive effects - far more than for other stuff that people really.go far like acupuncture - but think the oddness is off-putting for lots of us! I did this for my VBAC and while a sample of one isn't meaningful, I'm 5 foot nothing and gave birth to an 8lb baby with minimal tearing so something went right!

If needing your husband's help is too awkward I think there are stretchers you.can buy too.

isambardo · 25/06/2018 14:39

I got dh to do perineal massage on me in both pregnancies, I think I used vegetable oil. No tearing either time. Doesn’t hurt to try does it!

LisaSimpsonsbff · 25/06/2018 14:39

I just don’t know how to get down to it without it being awkward....pass the vegetable oil and look sultry?!

Obviously you know the dynamics of your relationship and I don't, but I think humour/brisk pragmatism is a much better way to go than any attempt to make it in any way sexy!

Original poster
LB1291 · 25/06/2018 14:41

Thanks all! Will leave the page on “How to” open on his pillow tonight Smile

OP posts:
Emmafh3 · 25/06/2018 14:46

I was open to the idea... But actually doing it was uncomfortable and felt wrong. So I just ended up using the same homemade lotion (oils and shea butter) and moisturised the area (quick wipe no messing around and no stretching) and I didn't tear at all for my first, and she came fast. Wasn't anytime to prep do anything in delivery anyway!
I also didn't really feel the "fire" of crowning. But everybody is different right?

Namechange128 · 25/06/2018 14:56

Also we did it in TV ad breaks so it wasn't silent and weird Wink

Dreamingofkfc · 25/06/2018 16:03

I did this every night from 34 weeks, had no tearing either time. I think because I'd stretched the area and was used to pulling down there, I never felt the crowning so it was a slow controlled delivery. Defo worth trying!

Italianshark · 25/06/2018 16:48

With this, where are you supposed to massage?? is it inside?

Bowlofbabelfish · 25/06/2018 16:51

There’s not really any credible evidence this works to reduce tears, even if you can reach around the bump at that point...

What IS shown to reduce (not eliminate) tearing and injury is proper perineal support by the midwife at the crowning stage and coached slow crowning.

Malibeau · 25/06/2018 17:12

I did this a little bit with bio oil. Didn't tear at all.

MapMyMum · 25/06/2018 17:50

I think this is one of those things though that they can't prove or disprove. Try putting one foot up on the loo seat and seeing if you can reach past the bump that way if you fancy giving it a go

furandchandeliers · 26/06/2018 10:10

I never tore and I've had 7 natural births!

furandchandeliers · 26/06/2018 10:11

Sorry should have clarified, I never massaged anything Grin

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