Perineal massage to prevent tearing....

[LB1291]

Hi

My midwife has suggested that I try this to help prevent tearing. It’s a bit odd and as I can’t really reach anything I’ve asked my husband to help. He’s willing but think a bit creeped out

How do you go about it? Obviously he only sees that area when intimate and I can’t help but feel like it will completely kill any desire he will ever have for me. FYI neither of us are into sex this pregnancy so it will not be a prelude or after party...

Thanks!

I did this in both pregnancies and didn’t have any tears, but I suspect it’s dumb luck.

He’s feeling too uncomfortable about it so I guess I’ll have to be creative...

I've read it's largely down to genetics regarding the risk of tearing.
I guess if you have more stretchy skin that's great but if you don't, then every little helps?
Try doing a little in the shower and then slapping some oil on after

I did it a lot from 35 weeks and my perineum was intact after delivery but I had the most horrible tears to my labia, which I was a bit put out about to say the least.

Dp did this for me frequently from 35 weeks as i didnt want to tear 2nd time round like i did with first. I didnt tear and recovered much quicker.

Tell him it’s the least he can bloody do!

Why does dp feel uncomfortable op? I think my dp was more than happy to do it considering it was the nearest he got to it in 9 months

I did this with DS1, I had a 2nd degree tear

I didn't do it with DS2, I had a 2nd degree tear

We aren’t the most sexual couple anyway, and I think he just feels weirded out by it all. I do feel a bit upset by that but he is very good in other ways.

I know people still tear when even with PM, but I do often wonder if it helped prevent earlier tears/worse tears

DH did this for me about twice a week from being 34 weeks or so. I found it awfully painful and uncomfortable the first couple of weeks but I have sensory issues due to being autistic so it may have mostly been cos of that. He could definitely tell the difference after a couple of weeks and I could tell as well from it not being so uncomfortable. I gave birth a week ago and didn't tear but I did have an assisted delivery with an episiotomy and the whole point of that is to prevent nasty tearing isn't it so I don't know whether it would have helped or not had I delivered naturally.

Oh and like you we hadn't had any sex since I was about 28 weeks because I just couldn't get comfortable and had issues with engorgement due to the increased bloody supply I think which meant I couldn't be comfortable being touched. The perineal massage was like a medical procedure for us lol it was not nice and certainly not sexual in any way. My DH is actually studying to be a HCP atm too .

Did it with DS1 had a third degree tear, didn’t with DS2 and only had grazing.

Think it’s a little off that he feels uncomfortable, how’s he going to be at the birth if he’s weirded out by vaginas when they’re not being used for sex?

He feels uncomfortable? Your letting him use that excuse? Hahahhaha nice try buster. Poor wee lamb... imagine if he had to give birth

I have had ten natural births and not a stitch.
No massages but sex up until the births!!
Once 3 hours before a ds arrived !!